Real life MMD: My hubby earns more. Should he pay more of joint bills?

vcb1981

daveshoelace wrote: »

Has this site ever given advice on joint bank accounts? I am getting married this year and am starting to look into them, but cant find much.

We got married 2010. Luckily we both have current accounts with the same bank so it obviously made sense to set up joint account with that bank. It makes thing easier to transfer money, etc and we have a "short term" savings account with them so when we do online banking, we can see exactly where everything is, etc.

florere

Your a married couple, you should have one joint bank account with all the money you both earn going in, and all the bills going out. The only reason for having a separate account is to avoid paying tax, i.e. I'm retired, my husband still works, the savings accounts are in my name because my pension is below my personal allowance.:)

elvis86

Victoria270385 wrote: »

Im suprised at how many people just have a joint account. My husband smokes and i wouldnt be happy paying for his cigs out of my money as i dont like him smoking but thats up to him and he can pay for it. I think a joint account for bills and a separate account for your own spends is right but thats just me personally. Otherwise when birthdays etc come its like your buying your own pressie

Similarly, despite being in a committed relationship, I'm still an indovidual and I wouldn't want to have to justify every purchase to another person. I also like to be able to buy my OH surprises.

For that reason, I think it's best to have some money of your own. OH prioritises gin and wine, whilst I like to prioritise clothes.:)

lizsmith2704

We should all stop judging this lady and her set up. she has asked for advise not critisism!
I have been married for nearly 9 years and living with my husband for nearly 14 years. We did have joint account and now have separate accounts.
I was a little nervous at first about how much I may have left each month but we do it absolutely fairly.
If you would like to know how we do it:
Add together both bring home pays ie £1900 and £1700 making a total of £3600. Then find the percentage you should each pay by dividing your own bring home ie £1900 by that total of £3600 and times by 100 .
ie 1900/3600 X 100 = 53%
the other calculation will be the other hald of the 100
ie 1700/3600 X 100 = 47 %.
then add up all the houshold bills that you want to pay jointly and work out the total amount each will pay using each of your percentages.
If you household bill are £1000 a month 53% person pays £530 and 47% person pays £470.
Decide between you what is joint ie is your mothers birthday present joint or yours to pay?
Once you have set up the ground rules it is simple.
This also means that you both have an equal perentage after out goings to spend or save how you like.
It won't be equal in monetary value but if you earn half the amount he does is it really fair that you have exactly the same amount of real money to spend after bills as he does?
The other alternative of course as a lot of people have already mentioned is to have joint accounts and allocate a spending money amount per person per month for what ever you like ie spend or save and then also have joint savings for holidays and bigger stuff.;)

TruMe

I'm one of the lucky ones, my husband and I have the same view points on money. I'm at home with the children and my husband brings in £4000 a month yet all of it goes in to one pot and I can spend as and when I like and vice versa. As one post said it does make giving presents a bit anti-climatic but it is easy and it works for us. I'm in charge of all the finances and regularly use Martin's tips to get the best for it, something my husband doesn't have the time to do. Not everyone is the same though and I have friends who work the same as you do, however it does seem to cause my friends countless arguments over who paid for the last meal/takeaway/tickets etc. If the two of you have the same view points on money spending then I'd say go for the one pot. However if one is a spender and one a saver then keep them separate and sit down with your husband and talk this through to come to some kind of arrangement. If you have a supportive relationship then you may be able to sort it out easily and with understanding.

savingqueen

Personally we have always put everything into one pot, paid all essentials first from it then depending on our situation jointly decided what to do with the rest - saving, spending on joint extras like nights out, things for the house etc. We have always allowed for a small equal amount each for personal spending so we can have little treats and buy each other birthday pressies etc. The amount nowdays is tiny but important to us still.

Originally I earnt more than DH, had my own flat etc so paid for house deposit & all house buying expenses when we bought together, cleared all DH's considerable debts, paid for our wedding, our one and only decent holiday and bought a car! This left us in a position to manage (just!) on DH's now improved income so I can be a SAHM for the time being. Our joke is he earns it and I spend it! Actually its not like that as our budget is tight. I run the household including all associated finances and look after the children. It works for us, it feels fair and equal and we review our finances as and when we need to. Maybe it helps that we are not materialistic, in fact DH is one of the least materialistic people I know and we are lucky we don't argue about money - not much money spare to argue about!:rotfl:

However one size doesn't fit all and you need to work out what's best for your own marriage and household needs. Its fine to ask for advice and opinions here - surely that's what MSE is all about. I tend to skim over the posts with sarky comments. Main thing as others have said, is have a discussion with your OH if you're not happy with your financial arrangements.

Traveller1981

I cannot believe how single minded some people on here are. Just because you have a joint account, doesn't mean everyone should think the same way you do. A joint account doesn't mean your relationship is any better than anyone else's who doesn't have a joint account for all the wages. Marriage doesn't mean you instantly need to have one account. What an utter load of tosh.

The situation is correct for however the couple wants to manage their money. Separate accounts work for some, and don't for others. There is no right and wrong.

All this flatshare/houseshare nonsense is just ludicrous. If the bills get paid, then where is the issue? Why do they have to be paid out of an account where both your salaries get paid into???

Personally joint accounts seem very old fashioned to me. I also know in my house, a sole joint account would cause more issues.
Myself and my partner own our own house, we have a child, and we have separate accounts. We are getting married this year, and nothing will change. A piece of paper to say you are married will not make us change the way our relationship works. We pay a percentage of our money in to a shared account that pays for all house bills and anything related to the baby. I pay more than her as I earn more than her. We are happy with this arrangement. I also spend more than her in general as I often make big purchases, whereas, she buys more things at smaller value. I would feel guilty making these big purchases out of a "joint" account as I would feel like I would taking away from money that she can spend.
We both made our own career choices. I have a career that pays more but I get less satisfaction out of. She chose a career that gives her more satisfaction but less pay. They are personal choices. We are both 100% happy with the way our finances work, and she is fine that I buy the latest iPhone/iPad on release. I am spending my money. This doesn't mean that "my" money isn't also spent on joint things. For example, we are going on holiday, and I will pay the majority from my personal money. If she wants anything she can't afford, I buy it for her. I am happy to do this. She wouldn't like our money to be in one account either. It makes buying personal items more of an issue. Also buying gifts, I buy her considerably more expensive gifts as I like to treat her to things for being such a wonderful partner and mummy to our daughter. I don't expect the same back, but that is something I like to do because I can afford it, with my own money. I also use my savings for investments. If the investment fails, I don't feel guilty that I have lost any of her money, but if it succeeds, then I can treat us both.

Sorry for the rant, but I just don't under stand this single minded vision of being married and only having one account, or you are just house mates.
Everyone is different. If we were all the same, the world would be a boring place.

Back to the OP. I personally would sit down and discuss the issue with your husband. As he treats you to meals and things, he will probably be more than happy to pay extra in your bills account, as he doesn't seem selfish with his money. He probably just doesn't know how you feel.
And as iterated above, communication is key.

Traveller1981

elvis86 wrote: »

Similarly, despite being in a committed relationship, I'm still an indovidual and I wouldn't want to have to justify every purchase to another person. I also like to be able to buy my OH surprises.

For that reason, I think it's best to have some money of your own. OH prioritises gin and wine, whilst I like to prioritise clothes.:)

Completely agree!

rosered100

We've been married 30 years & have never had a joint account. Maybe because we lived together for 10 years before getting married that made a difference.
I've always earnt more than my husband so I always paid the mortgage & the bills. As he was self employed or with a business & being a pessimist he wouldnt have assets in his name in case the company got into trouble, so I had the house in my name. When he did get a regular job for a couple of years, he paid out all car costs plus holidays, new kitchen etc. That way he felt his job paid for luxuries & made our quality of life better.
We've always been skinflinty, so both 'retired' in our 40's & have sold the house so no mortgage but the money is in separate accounts of about equal amounts & definitely still no joint accounts. I look after the money & send him a spreadsheet every so often so he can see the state of affairs but as money needs to be moved around for best rates etc its all left to me to do & keep tabs on.
You need to work out what works best for you. I personally couldnt stand to be beholden to someone else over what I spent from a joint account. I worked 14 hour days but as the main earner was quite happy to pay the lions share of bills. Your husband may feel the same way - speak to him.

cw18

When my (late) hubby and I both worked I earned at least 50% more than him, and we had different priorities on how to spend 'spare' money so pooling it wasn't really a viable option unless we wanted to argue about who'd spent how much on what

So each year I updated a spreadsheet with expected spends on bills (and kids birthdays etc), then from the total I deducted child allowance and tax credit

What was left got split according to the %age we earned (gross basic). Any overtime/bonus we got was our own money, but generally I used a lump of mine to pay for anything I'd not accounted for and we ended up paying for (such as school trips/holidays) and he paid for things we needed/wanted for the house (such as the metal gates on the side paths) - and I paid the cost of holidays (travel, accommodation and food - always self catering) while he paid for days out and activities while we were there

Worked fine for us for 15 years, so I'd say 'yes, he should be paying more now he's earning a significant amount more than his partner'