Real life MMD: My hubby earns more. Should he pay more of joint bills?

elvis86

SoozM wrote: »

Each month we both pay a set amount into the joint account from our salary account to cover bills, and this is directly proportionate to our salaries... each year we review the amount depending on any pay rises we are lucky enough to get, and alter the amounts if required. It's only fair that we each have a similar percentage of disposable income leftover after bills.

This summarises what I think is a fair approach where you both work full time.

OH earns approx twice as much as me, and our bills amount to approximately £750 a month. Therefore I pay £250 in and he pays £500.

With what's left we service our personal debts (which pre-date the relationship - OH's are 10 times more than mine at present!:eek:), pay our mobile bills, and the rest is spends.:)

Taking into account OH's debts, we actually end up with roughly the same amount of spends at the moment.

The way we see it, we're in a loving relationship so OH wouldn't want us to split bills 50/50 and leave me short each month. But similarly, OH works harder than I do in a stressful job, so I feel more comfortable that he has more spends than me (unfortunately he chose to get into debt in his previous life, so at the moment he has to use his spends to pay for his mistakes!).

I usually end up buying more shoppping than him, but he'll often pick up the bill for dinner etc anyway, so it evens out. And it's nice to have your own money, as it feels like you can treat each other rather than using a joint account.:)

carefulnow

tescobabe69 wrote: »

Because I'm "a bit" anal I keep financial records, since my wife gave up work in 1989 to bring up our kids I brought home £276,159.87, I shall be asking her tonight for the £138,079.93 she clearly owes me.

Don't forget to bill the kids for their share of the expenditure

mhayman

vcb1981 wrote: »

Wow! There are alot of people on here making some horrible assumptions/accusations "it's a marriage not a flat share".

Seriously? Just because a couple like to have thier own bank accounts with their own spending moeny with joint account just for for bills?

As I stated it's what works for us and it's our opinion that everything is shared. As I stated "YMMV". Many happily married people I know do the 50/50 bill split, or an earnings ratio. That works for them.

Sorry if I seemed harsh/judgemental that wasn't my aim.

Discuss what concerns you and how you want to handle cash in your partnership. I imagine I'd have a very different opinion if my wife or I were continually racking up debt and the other had to pay it off all the time. Fortunately we're both very similar in our financial outlook.

Victoria270385_2

Im suprised at how many people just have a joint account. My husband smokes and i wouldnt be happy paying for his cigs out of my money as i dont like him smoking but thats up to him and he can pay for it. I think a joint account for bills and a separate account for your own spends is right but thats just me personally. Otherwise when birthdays etc come its like your buying your own pressie

Victoria270385_2

also another reason we would have separate accounts is that my husband has a child which he pays CSA, if we had a joint account then CSA would come out of that which i dont think is fair.

daveshoelace

Has this site ever given advice on joint bank accounts? I am getting married this year and am starting to look into them, but cant find much.

Brian_Steele

In keeping with probably most of the posts here, I cannot understand why any two people who have decided to get married - which is supposed to be an equal partnership for life - don't have a joint account. All income goes into it and all outgoings come out of it.

We are in the lucky position that I can afford for my wife not to have paid outside employment, however the job that she does have is keeping house and raising four children. For that, she does earn a wage: exactly 50% of what I earn.

I don't begrudge her that and she spends from it as she sees fit. Sometimes she is extravagant. Sometimes I am extravagant. It makes no difference: it is a joint budget and if we are overspending, we talk to each other about it.

toadhall

I earn all the money in our marriage as OH is a full time student, throughout 22 years of marriage, its been one or other of us working, looking after the children, being students or both working.
All our money has always gone into two joint accounts, one for bills and one for spending.

Marriage is a partnership, ours, not his and hers.

yomehannibal

R U Married or not? Surprise, surprise, When you get married you are no longer individuals, you are a unit, that means one. Everything is communal, ours. Gottit?

maryb

If you feel you are struggling then something needs to be adjusted. You say your husband is generous and pays for things but it sounds as if you would feel better if he put more into the bills account so that you each had more equal amounts of fritter money/savings. It all comes out in the wash at the end of the day, it's more a question of getting comfortable. I can understand that constantly being treated can make one feel less of an independent adult, butas long as he doesn't feel that and behave to you accordingly, it shouldn't really be a problem.

We have had ebbs and flows over the years and sometimes I was paying most of it, now he is paying most of it. We have genuinely got to the stage where it is all regarded as one pot. In the early years we had a joint account for the regular expenses and kept separate accounts. He would sometimes pay for things using the joint because 'isn't that the sort of thing the joint is supposed to cover?' I had to point out fairly forcefully that the joint had limited funds and if there was a shortfall which I covered, it effectively meant I was paying 100% for it not 50%. So after that we discussed out of the ordinary expenditure in advance.

As everyone else has said, it's all about communication.