Should my boyfriend pay my rent to my parents?

JodyBPM

I think that OPs parents have broken several major rules:
-Don't invest money that you can't afford to lose
-Don't mix family and money
-Don't lend money that you can't afford to lose.

To be honest, if I was them, I'd probably be panicking now. Based on the OP's age, I assume her parents are heading towards the end of their working life probably in their late 50s or early 60s. OP said they had remortgaged to help her and her brother, so they now have debt to around the tune of £50-60K (based on 2x roughly the figure that will cost around £90 pm in interest), and their "investments" are losing value (based on OP saying that the property is in negative equity). They also, I assume, have no say on when the OP (or her brother) chooses to sell her property, which means that they could be forced to take a loss on their investment, rather than waiting til the market recovers.

Ultimately, her parents have put themselves in a very insecure financial situation in order to help their children out. In my opinion this was not wise of them, but it was very generous of them.

In the OPs shoes, I would be trying to help out my parents in any way I could, simply because they are my parents, they have helped me out in the past, and they are now in a sticky situation.

I don't know the back story obviously, but as a general rule, unless there was some really valid reason not to, I would put my parents' (who have helped me out buying a property) needs above that of a boyfriend. The boyfriend isn't much of a man if he doesn't a) want to pay his own way - ie half of the full monthly rental value of the property, and b) support the OP in wanting to help her parents out.

I'm shocked and horrified tbh, at how many responses suggest that OP should screw her parents over just because legally she doesn't have to pay them anything - they're her parents FGS, and seeming generous ones who have helped her out plenty in the past, who are now in a insecure financial situation because they have tried to help their children out. If my parents asked for help from me, I would help them because they have done so much for me, regardless of whether I was legally obliged to do so.

It doesn't matter if they want to call the money 15% of the market rental value, and you want to see it as interest on their mortgage, or simply a sum to help them out. All that matters is that they are asking for help, and you can give it to them

zzzLazyDaisy

Here is another solution.....

Have the house valued and sell it - from OP as sole owner, to OP and BF as joint owners, holding as tenants in common, with OP owning 85% of the property and BF 15% of the property.

Okay, the house is in negative equity, so OP & BF will need to make a concerted effort to overpay on the mortgage and/or put money away in a savings account, to get a deposit together to enable them to remortgage. But this should be possible as OP now only has to find half the mortgage repayments so some or all of those savings could go towards building up the deposit.

Alternatively, don't ask BF for half the mortgage, but arrange for him to save that money into a joint savings account. Once there is enough money to pay off the negative equity and have a deposit, remortgage into joint names and pay off the parents.

To be honest, I think it is unreasonable for the parents to agree to give children a loan to get onto the housing ladder on the agreement that they will be repaid when the house is sold, only to later move the goal posts when her BF moves in. They seem to have mixed up the process of helping OP get on the housing ladder, with the anticipation of profiting from their 'investment'. In a falling market they stand to lose money if OP sells too soon... so the next thing is going to be that OP and BF are going to want to sell up and the parents will try to persuade them not to in order to protect their 'investment'... either that, or they will try to move the goal posts again and want the whole of the loan back and not just their 15% share. I really don't think they have thought this through!

Mojisola

JodyBPM wrote: »

I don't know the back story obviously, but as a general rule, unless there was some really valid reason not to, I would put my parents' (who have helped me out buying a property) needs above that of a boyfriend. The boyfriend isn't much of a man if he doesn't a) want to pay his own way - ie half of the full monthly rental value of the property, and b) support the OP in wanting to help her parents out.

I don't think you're being fair. The BF has already agreed to pay half of everything. The parents are changing the legal agreement they made and are asking an unfair amount from the BF because they don't like him and don't really approve of their daughter's decision to let him move him.

If they are struggling financially, the adult thing to do would be to talk to New to Avon and her brother about changing the arrangements they have made so that they can start paying them back monthly, instead of leaving it until the houses are sold.

custardy

lostinrates wrote: »

I thought in shared ownership/equity deals you also paid a rent on the portion you didn't own?

some you do,some you dont
you dont get to decide which at a later date though

JodyBPM

Mojisola wrote: »

I don't think you're being fair. The BF has already agreed to pay half of everything. The parents are changing the legal agreement they made and are asking an unfair amount from the BF because they don't like him and don't really approve of their daughter's decision to let him move him.

If they are struggling financially, the adult thing to do would be to talk to New to Avon and her brother about changing the arrangements they have made so that they can start paying them back monthly, instead of leaving it until the houses are sold.

I'm not sure that the boyfriend has agreed to pay half the market rent for the property. He's agreed to pay half the OPs mortgage, which is presumably less than what he would be paying if they were simply splitting the rent 50/50 on a comparable property rented on the open market. So in effect the OPs parents and the OP are subsidizing his monthly cost via their investment. If I was the OPs boyfriend, knowing that the property was in negative equity, I wouldn't be happy with that at all. I would insist on paying half of the full market rent, so that any excess could be set against the negative equity. Because at the moment he's getting cheap rent at the cost of them bearing all the loss in the equity and all the risk. If I was a 37 year old man, I would not be happy being subsidized by my girlfriend and her parents, simply as a matter of pride.

Basically, OPs boyfriend is getting cheap rent, whilst OP and her parents lose money on the property. Surely that's wrong, and its definitely not him paying his way.

I agree that the OPs parents should be talking the OPand her brother about the finances, and finding a better way to deal with this. But a lot of parents would be very uncomfortable telling their children that they had money worries and asking for her help. This is a way of them getting the help they need without their pride taking a bashing.

custardy

JodyBPM wrote: »

I'm not sure that the boyfriend has agreed to pay half the market rent for the property. He's agreed to pay half the OPs mortgage, which is presumably less than what he would be paying if they were simply splitting the rent 50/50 on a comparable property rented on the open market. So in effect the OPs parents and the OP are subsidizing his monthly cost via their investment. If I was the OPs boyfriend, knowing that the property was in negative equity, I wouldn't be happy with that at all. I would insist on paying half of the full market rent, so that any excess could be set against the negative equity. Because at the moment he's getting cheap rent at the cost of them bearing all the loss in the equity and all the risk. If I was a 37 year old man, I would not be happy being subsidized by my girlfriend and her parents, simply as a matter of pride.

Basically, OPs boyfriend is getting cheap rent, whilst OP and her parents lose money on the property. Surely that's wrong, and its definitely not him paying his way.

I agree that the OPs parents should be talking the OPand her brother about the finances, and finding a better way to deal with this. But a lot of parents would be very uncomfortable telling their children that they had money worries and asking for her help. This is a way of them getting the help they need without their pride taking a bashing.

but the boyfriend isnty renting a house
the rent analogy works on an even playing field
the OP is now paying 50% less mortgage with the other 50% going into their property
if the OP was to use that argument then they can find somewhere to rent together
then they can both pay market rates

Mojisola

custardy wrote: »

but the boyfriend isnty renting a house
the rent analogy works on an even playing field
the OP is now paying 50% less mortgage with the other 50% going into their property
if the OP was to use that argument then they can find somewhere to rent together
then they can both pay market rates

As custardy says, if he was a tenant, paying rent, then he would have rights and legal protection and the OP's parents would be liable for repairs, etc.

adouglasmhor

FatVonD wrote: »

Yep, I agree but why quibble when someone has helped you?

How are they helping him?

anguk

Any wrote: »

I completely agree - BUT - this b/f is paying HALF of all the bills and signing piece of paper that he will not have a claim on the house.
This shows he has done everything to calm down OP and parents that he is not just a user.

The man is required to pay half of all outgoings, sign a piece of paper AND pay the parents extra? If it was me I would be asking :"do I have a mug written accross my forehead?"

The OP has agreement with her parents based on the sale of the house. The house is still hers, she still pays the mortgage, she is still going to sell. She is just going to be better off by someone paying half their bills. I cannot see how they think they have a right to extra conditions.

I think that's the problem. The OP and her parents came to an agreement regarding the house, she would pay the mortgage and they would get 15% of the house value when it was sold. The parents had a Declaration of Trust drawn up and have been happy with this agreement until the OPs boyfriend moves in, now they want to widen the goalposts and now they want 15% of the value plus a rental income.

I think this boils down to nothing more than the parents don't like the OP's boyfriend so now they want to change things.

Emmzi

OP, I would sell every brass button you own to repay your parents and get that trust deed changed. Help "with strings" is no help at all!

My folks have gifted me deposit money, and have at times lent me money. They have never tried to control how I use it. That isn;t how it works. If money is used to buy control, it isn't worth having.