Should my boyfriend pay my rent to my parents?

adouglasmhor

New_to_Avon wrote: »

This seems like it may work, but I have a question for you - did you pay your OH the going rate for renting his whole house? My parents are insisting on 15% of the going rate for renting my whole house which is about £600 a month. Or did you pay your OH HALF of the going rent, then paid his parents 20% of that?

I could maybe see how that is fair, if I ask him to pay half the going rent (£300), then pay my parents 15% of that (£45). I wouldn't then ask him to pay towards the mortgage or house maintenance as £255 is more than half the mortgage that I pay. I would have to save that to cover maintenance costs on the house, in the same way a landlord would.

I had no idea moving in with someone could be so fraught with problems, we thought it would make our lives easier but its giving us a big headache right now!

Thanks for everyone's posts, we are reading them with interest and its helping us think about different solutions to this dilemma. Ultimately we do love each other and want to spend out lives together so its got to be worth it!

He is not getting the whole house is he though, he is sharing it with you, so even if it was not petty money grubbing behaviour from your parents it would be 50% of 15% so 7.5% of going rate.

Lil_Me_2

New_to_Avon wrote: »

This seems like it may work, but I have a question for you - did you pay your OH the going rate for renting his whole house? My parents are insisting on 15% of the going rate for renting my whole house which is about £600 a month. Or did you pay your OH HALF of the going rent, then paid his parents 20% of that?

I paid half of the going rent rate of which 20% went to his parents. They basically just waived his contribution as he's their son.

cloudy-day

34??? Sorry OP I thought you were a teenager! :rotfl::rotfl:

You are getting a lot of practical advice here, but I would tell your parents to jog on, sell the house to pay them back and then do whatever you (and your boyfriend) want.

TBH at 34 my parents had had no say in my life for more than 20 years and I really can't imagine why yours expect to do so.

BugglyB

If your parents have remortgaged to pay the deposit on your house, do you not feel morally bound to repay them some amount every month anyway? Presumably they are paying interest on their secured loan. Apologies if I have misunderstood the situation.

Really your boyfriend should be paying money to you, and you should be paying it to your parents.

I think instead of an 'I'm 34 and I'll do what I like' attitude perhaps a 'I really appreciate your investment in me and this is how I'd like to proceed' would be better.

lostinrates

cloudy-day wrote: »

34??? Sorry OP I thought you were a teenager! :rotfl::rotfl:

You are getting a lot of practical advice here, but I would tell your parents to jog on, sell the house to pay them back and then do whatever you (and your boyfriend) want.

TBH at 34 my parents had had no say in my life for more than 20 years and I really can't imagine why yours expect to do so.

I think that would be fair enough had the parents not cost themselves money and security in remortgaging their own home to provide a deposit and stumped up to help with repairs etc.

My guess is they are worried...justifyably or not, that their finances and their daughter's could be at risk. Its possible there is a bigger back story.

I too thought op was younger, not just because of the parents input, but becuase of her assertion that her boyfriend felt another poster had got something spot on....in a huge leap of conjecture, it could be her parents feel she has first relied on them a lot financialy and possibly emotionally, and that this is now being transfered to a partner...it could be they feel their daughter is easily manipulatable, or that the boyfirend does not like them and could be willoing to see their security jeopardised. I hasten to add, these are possibilities, not assumption.

I feel we cannot have it both ways. If parents help us financially, especially if they are in debt to do so, we owe them some moral obligation to pay them back opr accept their element of worry over how their gift or investment is used and the repurcusions of this in them and us.

Of course the parents are overstepping boundaries here.....but we might not know the whole story.

GlasweJen

Why would you pay an amount every month and then also give them 15% of the house value back when you sell too? Surely they'd be getting their share of the deposit back twice under this agreement?

Lil_Me_2

GlasweJen wrote: »

Why would you pay an amount every month and then also give them 15% of the house value back when you sell too? Surely they'd be getting their share of the deposit back twice under this agreement?

This is why our current agreement with my OHs parents covers the interest that they would earn if they took their money elsewhere. Since the only reason they invested in the house was to help out, and they're not exactly going to make money on it!

If the OP and her parents want to rent their house out to a lodger then they should expect money back for that.

Any

lostinrates wrote: »

I think that would be fair enough had the parents not cost themselves money and security in remortgaging their own home to provide a deposit and stumped up to help with repairs etc.

My guess is they are worried...justifyably or not, that their finances and their daughter's could be at risk. Its possible there is a bigger back story.

I too thought op was younger, not just because of the parents input, but becuase of her assertion that her boyfriend felt another poster had got something spot on....in a huge leap of conjecture, it could be her parents feel she has first relied on them a lot financialy and possibly emotionally, and that this is now being transfered to a partner...it could be they feel their daughter is easily manipulatable, or that the boyfirend does not like them and could be willoing to see their security jeopardised. I hasten to add, these are possibilities, not assumption.

I feel we cannot have it both ways. If parents help us financially, especially if they are in debt to do so, we owe them some moral obligation to pay them back opr accept their element of worry over how their gift or investment is used and the repurcusions of this in them and us.

Of course the parents are overstepping boundaries here.....but we might not know the whole story.

I completely agree - BUT - this b/f is paying HALF of all the bills and signing piece of paper that he will not have a claim on the house.
This shows he has done everything to calm down OP and parents that he is not just a user.

The man is required to pay half of all outgoings, sign a piece of paper AND pay the parents extra? If it was me I would be asking :"do I have a mug written accross my forehead?"

The OP has agreement with her parents based on the sale of the house. The house is still hers, she still pays the mortgage, she is still going to sell. She is just going to be better off by someone paying half their bills. I cannot see how they think they have a right to extra conditions.

FatVonD

Flearoy wrote: »

Make sure that they don't get 15% of any long term increase in equity as you'll have paid the mortgage off on your own.

She might be paying 100% of the mortgage but the mortgaged part is only 85% of the purchase price of the property, her parents have paid cash for the other 15% of the house so are entitled to 15% of whatever the sale price is, whenever it's sold.

OP. I think you're being unreasonable in not agreeing to pay. Your parents helped you out and while, as your parents, they are perfectly happy to let their own daughter live rent free in 'their' 15% of the house (which they are paying back, with interest, via their own mortgage) why should they extend that to someone they are unrelated to?

Any

FatVonD wrote: »

OP. I think you're being unreasonable in not agreeing to pay. Your parents helped you out and while, as your parents, they are perfectly happy to let their own daughter live rent free in 'their' 15% of the house (which they are paying back, with interest, via their own mortgage) why should they extend that to someone they are unrelated to?

I see where you are coming from. You are looking at it as "their" part of property and they are letting her live there rent free.... In which case, I can see it.

However from what the poster said, her parents lent her the money as an investment in return for % of the sales price. So I understood it that they invested money (like you do by buying shares with view to sell later with profit), rather then them wanting to "own" 15% of the house?

Either way, I do think this has to do with OP and her parents. They should sort out what the parents are expecting daughter to pay/repay them in the meantime (though now it would be going back on their agreement and to be agreed a new one, with repayment or interest only paying) and OP decide what to charge her b/f accordingly..