Relationship Dilemma: Want thoughtful and Sincere Opinions

ArsenalFC

Thank you all for your replies, it's so good to hear all your valuable comments and from your personal experiences too.

I wasn't involved in their break-up as I never knew, met or even been introduce to her before. I guess if I had known her when she was with her ex and also know him well as a friend then I probably wouldn't be comtemplating whether I should pursue her or not. I dont know why they have broken up as I never knew her and were not good friends with her ex. Whatever reason it was, it must have been serious to call their wedding off. I guess for my peace of mind I would like to know the reason for their break up if the girl and I ever got involve.

Its exactly like what everyone had said if I dont pursue her then I will probably regret this for the rest of my life and wonder "what if" . I had given myself a vow when I was younger that if I really want something, whatever it may be, I will try my best. And this especially apply to relationship as I have learned from the past and never want to wonder what would of happened if I had done things differently. Whether I succeed or not at least I have tried and never need to wonder what if.

Everyone here have been very honest and supportive and I appreciate that. Having had more time to think and digest all your comments, I will continue my friendship with this girl and see where it will take us. If we ever got together then I will speak to her ex to clear the air and I believed most if not all of my good friends will understand and be happy for me. Thanks everyone once again.

Avoriaz

Stop over analysing everything, just go for it and hang the consequences. Life is too short to worry so unnecessarily about who will think what about whatever.

A word of caution. When you invited her to lunch she agreed but wanted to bring a friend. That is not the typical response of someone who fancies you. I think she possibly likes you but does not really fancy you and only wants a friendship. Alternatively she may fancy the pants off you but wants to take it slowly and carefully.

There is only one way to find out. Ask her out, meet up with her and see how it goes. You have nothing to lose (except your virginity).

Good luck.

ArsenalFC

I do not have a problem with her taking a friend along as after all we only just met and spoke a few times. For all she know, I could be a stalker or a kidnapper. Or like you said she may want to take things slowly and get to know me better as a person and may want to not be seen as easy. After all, she had been in a serious relationship for 2-3 years, so I would imagined she wants to take things slowly.

As for me having nothing to lose, I agreed. If losing my virginity is the worse scenario then it cant be a bad thing, can it?

saver6

I'm with everyone else. You can't ignore the spark for the sake of someone you barely know, and remember, exes are exes for a reason.

My dad married my mum's sister, which is about as extreme as it gets! And no one in the family batted an eyelid because my dad and mum were history anyway and everyone could see how happy they were. That's what real friends and family will probably think anyway.

ArsenalFC

WOW saver6, I admire you parents love, courage and determination!

claireandella

Just take her out to lunch!

You sound like a really lovely man so stop dithering and phone her. She's a very lucky girl...

ktb

Life is TOO short!!!!

I went out with a guy for about 5 years and we broke up 7 or 8 years ago... I still see many of our mutual friends. If a vague acquaintance of his who I had a 'spark' with were to ask me out I can't remotely imagine why anyone should have a problem with that. Like someone else mentioned if they do then they aren't exactly great friends to start with. Be careful that you dont ruin this by being too sensitive about this issue.

If you are really worried, get it out in the open, sort it out and then leave it be and enjoy your friendship with this lady.

Good luck!

Russ66

:kisses3:"You Snooze - You Lose"

Tom_Saunders

just got for it.

Why are you even asking ? Are you a child or a grown up ?

benood

Sorry just get on with it, your distant friend isn't really going to be fed up with you, unless of course Miss X dumped him after seeing this really gorgeous guy who really looks after his friends when they get drunk and fell in love at first sight. However, even then I think your conscience should be pretty clear.

Good luck