So very angry right now!!

jamespir

Its a shame what happened to her dad like but a school cannot teach things cause one person might be upset by it and they dont have to give warnings either

joeblack066

meritaten wrote: »

I dont really see the need for schools to teach about specific illnesses? are they preparing pupils for medical degrees?
a general first aid course - then yes, teach them the basics! but why would diabetes be covered? is Asthma? what about MS or Cancer? sorry but I dont see why they need to be taught about ONE specific condition.

Thats another thing I don't understand tbh.

mrcow

joeblack066 wrote: »

Personally, I wonder if it might be best for teachers to ask if students know of people with different diseases/illnesses etc before they start talking about them.

This is a horrific idea.

I'm teaching a lesson about cancer..... "Hands up anyone who knows anyone with cancer" - you've got to be kidding surely to goodness?

Oldernotwiser

Although this was obviously a cataclysmic event for your family, I don't really see how any school could be expected to know all the things that have happened to all its pupils over that period of time, particularly before they joined the school.

joeblack066

Blue_Elephant wrote: »

*finds a hat to put on just so I can take it off*

THIS.

Do you know thats exactly what I did, and she is a lot better now!

Just to clarify, she has had a referral to CAMHS who decided there was nothing they could do to help her. Her patoral care was just abondoned with no warning. She has been mentally bullied and physically attacked at school, things that would be criminal offences in the wider world but are ignored in school. We talk about Dad a lot, she is generally coping as well as can be expected. I have worked in teen education (16-19) and I would have been made aware of any particular circumstances that any of my Learners had, such as abuse issues, substance abuse, homelessness, so that I would be able to prepare them before any topics that might have affected them. I had hoped that we would have been afforded the same consideration somewhere along the line, as witnessing your father's death alone at 10 is not a common occurrence. I have tried to move schools but we live in a fairly rural area, and it was vey difficult. .I am on the verge of taking her out of school to home school as she is always happy when not in school, always miserable when in school.
I will always always support my DD with anything that she needs. All I would have asked is that a little consideration could have been shown.

southoftheriver

Unfortunately diabetes is becoming increasingly common, so although it is unfortunate this has happened, your daughter is likely to come across people discussing the illness and its complications again. Maybe this can open up some dialogue from your daughter (if she wants to) so that she can address how to deal with people taking about diabetes in the future. A word with her teacher for the future may be helpful too.

And to comment on other peoples thoughts, I may be biased because I work in the medical profession, but I would be terrified for a future where our children weren't taught about common diseases. Leaving school not knowing about the damage that heart disease and things like diabetes can do would be a terrible waste of an education.

Bangton

I'm saddened that an adult might have to go through that...let alone a 10 year old. I can't imagine the impact that would have on someone so young, having watched my own dad die aged 23 it was harrowing and sometimes suffocating to think of.

In this circumstance I wouldn't hold the school entirely at blame but it's clear from your comments that their general lack of care for your DD has caused quite a bit of upset. (How shocking that she would be bullied...kids are beyond cruel sometimes)

I can imagine I'd want to take her out of school too...poor girl has had enough to deal with without merciless bullying and taunts. That said, it wouldn't be this specific incident that bothered me the most

mumps

I lost my dad when I was just a bit older than this and it is a very difficult situation. I was close to my dad, his favourite and we did everything together. I needed support when he died but, and it is a big but, it is important to to go on with life, I won't say get over it because you don't. I know my education suffered because my teachers were just too sympathetic and when people are offering to let you off with homework, let you walk out of exams because you are too upset etc etc it seems rude not to. I am ashamed when I look back and think I got to a point where I needed a bit of firmness with the sympathy. I am not saying the OP's daughter is like this, I suppose I was a bit of a naughty girl, but just explaining that it is not always easy for teachers to know what to do.

I hope she is feeling better and I hope she isn't going to let it mess up her time at school like I did.

Tiddlywinks

I see where Mumps is coming from - this was a really big, horrific thing for your DD but you all do now have to learn to let it go (in the nicest way). Do not use this event as a reason or excuse to avoid real life - it won't do anyone any good in the long run.

Things get said as part of everyday life, people put their foot in it all the time - there's rarely malice involved. In this case the school did not set out to cause any upset, use this as a chance to have an open discussion and then move on. Your DD will know only too well that life is too short not to be lived.

Gingham_R

I'm so sorry to hear about this terrible loss and that you feel her school haven't supported her through it.

I'm a saddened to read a few of the previous posts that seem to be so flippant over what is clearly devastating for you and for her.

I suspect that this incident is one in a series of events where your daughter's needs haven't been met, whether through negligence or lack of knowledge or understanding of her situation.

I recommend arranging a meeting with the head of year or the head, to explain what you feel the issues have been, in the hope of building a better situation for your daughter within school. Clearly, the timetable and syllabus are how they are, but there are ways to prevent this kind of situation.

For example, as head of PSE, I would have to deal with topics such as death, miscarriage and so on and it helped to have a quick look at the key info on each child - present on class lists - that flagged up any issues.

Therefore, I knew before I started teaching children if there had been a loss in the family or if they were in care etc. I would often ask children to wait behind for a minute at the end of lessons, often to praise them, so it wasn't seen as an issue if I asked children to wait behind to let them know that a subject was coming up to prepare them and let them know they could be excused if appropriate. This was obviously particularly necessary for children who had been abused, when we were dealing with this topic, and I'd ensure that the children had jobs to do elsewhere if that's what was required. (This information was never on class lists.)

I don't think it's acceptable to let children pass from year to year without important information following them and actually taken notice of by their teachers. The death of a parent is very high up the list of priorities for concern, as is illness in a child and I had a very upsetting moment when I realised a child that had been absent from a lot of my lessons had cancer and no-one had told me. In a school with a high truancy rate, I had not taken this possibility into account.

It can be handled MUCH more sensitively than your poor daughter has experienced and I hope that your comments to the school will help change thiings for the future.