Boys into Ladies Toilets

Nicki

Peakma wrote:

I'm sorry but if this is the case ,would it not be better to use some sort of incontinence pad?

Thanks for the concern and the advice. As with many things in life the answer isn't always simple though. Toilet training an older disabled child is like toilet training a toddler - just takes years and years longer. If they wear nappies or incontinence pads, then there isn't the same incentive to learn to use the toilet. My DD, after many years of trying, has got to the point of recognising that she needs the toilet, preferring to go in the toilet if she can, and asking for it when it is needed. As she has very low muscle tone in both her abdomen and whole pelvic floor area, she can't physically hold on for very long. Again, this is something which just needs practice - like any muscle the more it is used, the stronger it gets - so this is another reason why we don't use incontinence aids during the day at all, though still do at night.

I'm clearly in the minority on this topic, although I notice a few people do agree with me, so will bow out. Hopefully though if nothing else my contributions to the thread have made some of you think about the issues, even if you decided having thought about them, that you disagreed.

crutches

the first time my son went in the mens (5 yrs old with a family friend).
He came out looking horrified and whispered "they all pee'd on the FLOOR!!!!"

3plus1

To be perfectly honest, Nicki, I've never seen a disabled person use the disabled toilets where I live. When there's a long queue for the ladies, someone always ends up ducking into the disabled toilet, but I don't think any of them are actually disabled, hidden disability or not. It's just a matter of not wanting to waste any more time in the big long queue.

Thank you for your posts explaining your DD's situation, as even though it's not currently relevant to me, I am planning on relocating later this year, and it may become relevant. Maybe where I end up, there will be people like your DD who always end up having to wait for the disabled toilet, because there are non-disabled people selfishly using it. It's a welcome insight.

Jet

OP - My son is nearly 9 years old and he still comes into the ladies with me. He's getting to the age where he doesn't want to anymore and I'm going to have to let him go in the men's alone.

I just don't like the idea of having to walk in if he has a crisis. I did let him go in alone a while ago and he was ages and I was frantic.

When he finally came out and I asked him what was wrong and why he took so long, he said he was playing with the soap and sorting out his belt. :rolleyes:

3plus1

crutches wrote:

the first time my son went in the mens (5 yrs old with a family friend).
He came out looking horrified and whispered "they all pee'd on the FLOOR!!!!"

When I was 8, I saw my first ever squat toilet. Imagine my reaction. :rotfl:

inkie

must add to this thread, that as a woman, I do not have any problem with young boys being brought into the ladies by their mums. The childs safety has to be paramount.

specsappeal

hello everyone!
well what a thread this one is! Thought I would put my two pence worth in. I have 2 sons (13 and 11). One is special needs. However when they were little they came into the ladies with me. when they reached about 7 or 8 i let them use the gents. However if i felt they were taking longer than necessary i had no problem marching into the gents to check! I have no problem with mothers who take their boys into the ladies with them if thats what they feel they have to do. Regarding disabled loos my DH is disabled but even he prefers to use the gents if he can. Although i do admit when my kids were in buggies i did on occassion use the disabled toilet with no problems at all. My local supermarket says that the disabled toilet is there to allow people who need more room/space to use the toilet. This would cover mothers or fathers with buggies aswell as those who are disabled, as both groups may need the extra space for wheelchairs/buggies etc.

Zara33

Peakma wrote:

I'm sorry but if this is the case ,would it not be better to use some sort of incontinence pad?

Ignorance is bliss eh dear :rolleyes:

pollyanna24

I haven't read all these threads, but this reminds me of something that happened when I was young.

There was a fair on in our town and I had my face painted, but the lady doing it was crap and I walked around looking like I was just very dirty. :rotfl: Can't even remember what I was supposed to be now.

Anyways, eventually I started crying cos people were saying mean things to me (I was very young and people (even adults) were very rude), and I ran into a ladies toilet.

My dad followed me in, ignored everybody and spent 15 mins scrubbing my face. Must admit can't remember what people's reactions were at the time. :rotfl: Never had my face painted since.

sherbetpops

I have a son and i take him onto the ladies with me, and until reading this thread had never questioned the respect of other ladies using the toilets, maybe they where not happy having a 4 year old gorking at them, if some feel it is not right for non disabled to use disabled toilets then surely its not right for young boys to be using ladies toilets, and not right that women think its ok to storm into gents toilets when their sons are taking a little longer than expected, we all deserve the same treatment in this world and that is to respect others, so maybe if you think its ok for 6/7/8/9 year old boys to use ladies toilets then maybe its ok that mothers with buggies to use disabled toilets when that is their only option, only my thoughts;)