Boys into Ladies Toilets

Zara33

zoeleigh wrote:

When my little lad (6 tomorrow) was in a pram he could get himself out no problem so no way would I leave him outside, not that I would anyway.

Nor would I leave him outside a shop or in the car etc.

I was walking to school a couple of weeks ago and spotted a toddler (about 2) asleep in a car while the mum or dad was picking another kid up from school, they couldn't have seen the car from where they pick the kids up, in fact it was quite a way away. I was absolutely disgusted, anything could have happened, she could have woken up and gone to look for her parents, opened the door on the main road & got run over, or what if someone crashed into the car while she was in it? Or a paedophile found her? Doesn't bear thinking about.

Zoeleigh i understand what you are saying regarding the child being left in a car but......i would imagine the car was locked not that i am saying this is right or wrong by the way, it was just the paedophile comment that i thought strange.

emmaBZ

DS is 9 now and will not go into ladies,...hes old enough to go alone but i do stand outside the door talking to him and if he doesn't reply i have been known to walk in...to check on him....much to his embarrassment !!! ( that'll teach him to answer me when i talk to him !! )

Zoetoes

Zara33 wrote:

Zoeleigh i understand what you are saying regarding the child being left in a car but......i would imagine the car was locked not that i am saying this is right or wrong by the way, it was just the paedophile comment that i thought strange.

All she had to do was pull the handle to unlock it and get out to look for her mum or dad, I meant if she was wondering around then it's even easier for some weirdo to walk off with her.

Zara33

zoeleigh wrote:

All she had to do was pull the handle to unlock it and get out to look for her mum or dad, I meant if she was wondering around then it's even easier for some weirdo to walk off with her.

I understand what your saying honestly i do but i think most cars are now fitted with child locks.

jordylass

pingua wrote:

Why take your bag and not the baby?????????????

My children are older now so I don't have the buggy problem, but I do think someone would steal my bag, I don't think they would steal my baby!

Thats not to say I'm so naive that I don't know it goes on. I just googled Jamie Bolger as I couldn't remeber when this happened but remember being very upset about it at the time. The date it happened Feb 12th '93 my daughter was born in March 1st '93. I remember feeling traumatised by what had happened and how the thought of it now is still extremely disturbing. That daughter is just about to turn 14, so it happened 14 years ago! The little girl in the bath was more recent and also much closer to home. Aside from that the only incident I can remember of the top of my head (concerning children) is Holly and Jessica.
My mother also used to worry because Hindley and Brady were found guilty of the moors muders May 66, when she was expecting me. Then Mary Bell in 1968 just after my sister was born. So over 2 generations I can think of 5 incidents of despicable acts against children. I know that many more have gone on, but not with the same level of reporting which is what contributes to the paranoia of parents.
Most dreadful acts against children are taking place with people they know, and there is no worse crime against children now than there has been for generations, we are just much more aware of it and because of the reporting we feel personally touched by it.

Spendless

zoeleigh wrote:

When my little lad (6 tomorrow) was in a pram he could get himself out no problem so no way would I leave him outside, not that I would anyway.

Nor would I leave him outside a shop or in the car etc.

I was walking to school a couple of weeks ago and spotted a toddler (about 2) asleep in a car while the mum or dad was picking another kid up from school, they couldn't have seen the car from where they pick the kids up, in fact it was quite a way away. I was absolutely disgusted, anything could have happened, she could have woken up and gone to look for her parents, opened the door on the main road & got run over, or what if someone crashed into the car while she was in it? Or a paedophile found her? Doesn't bear thinking about.

I think there's a difference between leaving a child in a car when you head off for the school and having a child that you know won't undo their safety straps on their pushchair sing humpty dumpty to you whilst you have a wee.

Peakma

Nicki wrote:

I have a disabled child (girl) who when she needs to go, needs to go right then. It p155es me off enormously when I find that the disabled toilet is being used by a non-disabled person, child or not, and she has to wait. How do you know that a disabled person isn't going to turn up to use the toilet just after your child goes in? In my opinion this is no different to parking in a disabled bay because its closer to the front door of the shop.

If the young boy is too young to safely use the mens on his own take him into the ladies with you. Noone will turn a hair if he is with you - ladies after all perform everything behind closed doors. If he's old enough to feel uncomfortable using the ladies, then he's old enough to go into the mens on his own, and if you're worried get him a rape alarm or a whistle (though I personally think you are massively overreacting, and also confusing homosexuality with paedophilia and they are two very different things!)

Using the disabled toilet is not the same as parking in a disabled bay.I use the disabled toilet if I have a pushchair loaded up with shopping and a small child.If a disabled person comes and needs to use it ,then they will have to wait a couple of moments,just as they would if another disabled person was already using it.Most baby change units are fitted in the disabled loo anyway.
My kids are 8,7 (boys) and 3 (girl) they all come in the ladies with me.theres no way I'd let them in the Mens alone.Who knows who could be in there,I'm not being paranoid,it's just common sense.It's not just paedophiles I'm concerned about,it's older boys hanging out who might pick on them or junkies needles left behind,the general filth of mens loos,the graffiti which they'd read- and all the questions I'd get after-Mum what does *4***k?!! mean?
When it comes to open changing rooms at the swimming baths,thats a bit different.Not sure about that one, as it's not cropped up as something I have to deal with.I wouldn't let the boys go in the mens alone.If they came in the ladies they would be having a good look around out of curiosity,they are already intreseted by the naked female form! I realize this could be awkward,and make some people uncomfortable.and they would also be a bit embarrassed.
Out of interest , how do most families deal with nudity? at the moment if someone is in the bath in our house,any other family member is likely to walk in brush their teeth,ask a question etc. Personnaly I think it's healthy for families not to be too bothered about seeing each other naked,but I guess as they get older it will be obvious to be a little more discreet,but for now I think it's fine.


quote-Not sure what the big difference is myself. Disabled parking spaces are designed for those who can't walk long distances or need extra space getting in and out of their cars, disabled loos are for those who would wee or poo on the floor if they had to wait in line for a standard loo, or need extra space to use the facilites. Sorry to be graphic, but I assume from the crassness of your response that you don't have first hand experience of disability causing incontinence and therefore need to be educated as to the grim reality. -quote

I'm sorry but if this is the case ,would it not be better to use some sort of incontinence pad?

TokochickUK

as the ^^^^^^^^ post said, its not just pedophils but junkies and bullies also. I spoe with dh about this last night and asked him if he was female or we had a daughter what would he do, he said if he was female he ewould take the boys in with him and if we have a daughter he would use disabled. when i asked him " but when will you feel ok about letting the boys go to the loos alone?" he said when they are teenagers!! and this is a man who can look after himself and clearly uses the gents and he said its just not a place young boys should be with out an adult or parent safely with them. i aksed him his view also on disabled loos being used and he was under the impression they are not there just because some body has incontinence but more the fact they have wide doors and the support bars for say getting out of a wheel chair. not just that they may soil them selves. he also thought(when he starts there is NO stopping him lol) that the mixed loos was much better idea and would save issues all around as clealy with closd cubicals, his only issue with ladies toilets is the sanitary towel disposal lol

lil_me

If there isn't a suitable other then I take my boys into the ladies, they are 8 and 6 but for safety reasons it concerns me sending them in alone, you never know who else is in there! If DP is there he takes them, if the disabled loo isn't being used I will use that.

izoomzoom

As the OP, I would like to thank everyone for their views, especially for those that stayed on track.

Notwithstanding my general conclusion is that it is okay for my son to attend the ladies with me until such time as he and I decide that it is no longer appropriate AND that we both feel it is safe to use the mens.

Female toilets provide far more privacy and apart from one or two negatives, woman do not generally feel that it is inappropriate.

I do think that I will start to train my son to use the mens unaided (obviously) but only if there are no closed entrance doors (I would not be able to maintain verbal contact with him).

Once again thank you for your views.

And as for disable toilets, parkings, ... shall I rename this thread ?