No T Words mentioned at all - a fresh start

fuddle

He's finished the top and the lower shelf. Just the legs to go now buy it will be a few weekends time as we're going away next weekend.

I've been to the doctors again with chest pain. She has no reason to believe it is anything other than acid reflux (even though I already take 20mg omezprazole for it) the answer is a doubled dose. I awoke to visions of my mam yellow faced looking down at me. I am now back on my anxiety meds. I have a new asthma inhaler as the pain in my chest makes inhaling the powder difficult. I have an aerosol that can be used in the spacer. My breathlessness and my pain is immense. I don't do self pity normally but today I am just crying all the time.

Nargle's your full moon was pants! (But I did look at it through the window so probably given myself a dose of bad luck :cool::rotfl: )

[Deleted User]

Deep breath small one, it's two steps forward and one step back isn't it lovey? It's only natural that you worry about mum, even though you know in your heart that you can't change anything you'll never be able to stop the worry creeping back into your subconscious mind and it will spill over sometimes. Good for getting an asthma aerosol to use in the spacer, much easier to administer and I hope the double dose of meds for acid reflux works pdq!

You've been through so much of late girlie, you're still in the early stages of recovering from pretty major illness and you're beginning to do things again which is going to deplete your energy reserves and put you that one step back every now and then. No wonder you're feeling low and sad, who wouldn't under those circumstances. It's normal for it to happen and mum into the picture with her problems again is just too much. You will gradually and with care for yourself gain back your strength and stamina, it will take more time than you realise and you'll get these setbacks along the way BUT I promise health and better outlook WILL come again, you have to be patient and you HAVE to be easy on yourself. I send you love and hugs and gentleness to wipe away those tears, today is dark I wish tomorrow and all your other tomorrows full of sunshine and smiles, poor little one, Lyn xxx.

pollyanna_26

Fuds I really wish I good give you a real life hug . Give the Oromorph dose a chance it just might do the trick dd has been taking it for years and it is very effective in cushioning the meds and minimising damage to your digestive system . Obviously keep track of how you feel but it's worth a try . Ditto the inhaler and spacer , both youngest and middle daughter are asthmatic and the spacer made so much difference to that crushing feeling and fight for breath . Hopefully the new inhaler will make a difference . I don't know what to suggest about the anxiety issue , except the shock the other day will have triggered all the bad stuff once again . I know it's hard but is there any form of distraction you can employ ? dd has found adult colouring takes her mind off the stuff that stresses her far more than automatically knitting or similar hobbies . She says it's quite mindful as she has to really concentrate on what she is doing . Have you discussed the mum situation with your doctor , maybe a little gentle counselling may help , nothing triggering just gentle suggestions to help you through this time .
Look after yourself love - will think of you when I light my candle this evening x
Back in a bit
polly x

pollyanna_26

Back again Lovely nurse at the surgery has squeezed her in for bloods . It is next Monday early so fingers crossed on that .
Candlelight Dr put her on anti emetics a while ago and they were making a difference . The methotrexate has been a factor , it took her months to settle . She had a lot of sickness and other unpleasant side effects however she has been taking it for a few years now and until a few months ago the positives outweighed the negatives .
The reason the gp sees her every other week max is because of the large amount of different meds she is on all the year round . He is very careful to balance things correctly and considers the pros and cons of everything . The problem recently seems to lie with very high inflammation which appears to be attacking every part of her body including we all think her stomach . After the recent complete waste of time trying to get some sense from the Rheumo team . We need the bloods asap , the markers have been rising as she's become worse and gp has still not had any response from his calls and messages to the hospital . I am wondering if her regular nurse is away at the moment as she would have had it sorted same day . The nurse I got hold of twice has not actioned anything , a bit poor and a shame as dd was quite trusting of that department despite the long journey and bang goes another safe place ! Sorry for the vent x
Fuds Oddly enough despite the rainy weekend I had a much better view of the moon last night , maybe we just need a bit of patience and all will be well .
I was shocked today to see the Liver Buildings are up for sale . When my dad was on the wartime navy convoys they would watch out for the Liver Bird that looks out to sea and know they were almost back safe . I hope they leave the two birds untouched as rather like the Ravens in the Tower they are protectors . What a world eh ?
Take care all
polly x

[Deleted User]

I've got a crow/rook who visits the garden every day and 'sings' when he sees me go into the garden, I've called him Dickon because it suits him. He's very obliging and mops up any stale bread etc that I pop on the lawn and seems to deter the seagulls who flock in mob handed when they see food. He brought a friend the other day but only the once, mostly it's just him and a handsome bird he is too!

candlelight_2013

Oh dearest Fuddle what are we going to do with you?

I am going to burn a calming candle for you this evening and hope some of it reaches you. I am sorry you are in so much pain, and I do think you have a right to feel sorry for yourself. I know it seems to be going on for a long time, but you have been very ill. They don't admit people to hospital unless there is no other option.

Carry on with what you have been doing. Take things steady, when you are tired rest, eat small portions of good wholesome food. Your DH and girls love you to bits, they will understand and I know they will help you.

You have a great deal to cope with at the moment, but your priority is YOU. You need to be happy and well to look after your family. You can't do anything about your Mum, she has made her choices, and I can't see anyway back for her. You have to remember she is mother you are DAUGHTER, and you can't reverse the roles. In normal circumstances a Mum would be looking after her daughter who had been so ill and was finding things difficult at the moment. This isn't going to happen, so you have to stop worrying about her and things you cannot change, and put your strength and energy into getting well.

Much love to you Fuddle

Candlelightx

westcoastscot

Aw fuddle pet you need to take it much easier - I know, easier said than done. I took me most of this year to shake pneumonia, and my lungs have not recovered properly - hoping the spacer will work for you - it helps me. Do you think the chest pain might be linked to your anxiety? when you're recovering from pneumonia your heart and lungs are very susceptible - I find I get stabbing pains in my back and sides, its a different feeling to reflux? Hope you feel better soon, and I would second something to take your mind off your troubles, even for a short while.

Polly sorry to hear about your daughter's troubles - since my pneumonia I cannot tolerate the full dose of metho, so plan to combine with another similar drug - sulpho I think - when i've titrated up to it. As you know PsA can attack your bowel and stomach muscles as well as the more usual ones - it's a particular issue for me and my daughter. Sounds like a massive flare up - hope the rheumy team come back to you soon - do you think they would consider a kenalog to bring it back under control a bit?? Keeping everything crossed for both of you - it's a horrid disease!!!!!!!

Floss

Polly the Liver Building is grade 1 listed and is also part of the World Heritage site on the Liverpool waterfront so the Birds won't be going anywhere

pollyanna_26

Thanks WCS Oddly enough in between the odd post today I've had what I call the psa bible out - canadian book via oxford university press but much cheaper from Am . It is very good at all the various add ins and I've been reading and cross checking with her other meds plus checking Nice to see what is available . I swear I could qualify as a consultant at this rate ! We always aim to be informed and proactive but rheumo have really not stepped up this time . It's the first time in over four years we've urgently needed advice and dds trust has gone .
Gentle hugs to you and your daughter .
Our Doctor has shared care and is on the case but annoyed at the lack of response . Anyway going to sort the bins and have a look at Mars post over on the fence .
polly x

pollyanna_26

Floss The three graces are all due for sale by order of Liverpool Council . Liver building is the first to go on the market . I found it accidentally via a conversation with an old friend who was wondering if it was April Fools day . I don't think grade one listing is secure anymore as I know of a number of properties where that was ignored and the sale went ahead . Rubbish at links but check Liverpool Echo website as she read it there .
polly