No T Words mentioned at all - a fresh start

[Deleted User]

Sweetie there really is NOTHING you can do to change things, mum will go her own way and what will be WILL BE no words or actions of yours or anyone elses CAN change what is. It's a great sadness and so frustrating to be in this situation, it's not the least bit fair to load the worry on you and then refuse any help. It's in mums hands and hers alone, it's her responsibility and her choice all you can do sadly is watch and wait and hope but you cannot change a single thing. Best if you can to fill your time and mind with practical things at home and with the girls and keep yourself occupied for as much of the time as you can. Too much thinking time is only going to add further to the stress. I'm here and on the end of my phone if you need me lovey xxx.

pollyanna_26

Fuds love I could write the book on living with someone who lives their life from the bottom of the bottle . Like yourself I put up with all sorts but nothing made a difference . There is a point where for your sanity and your loved ones you have to accept that nothing will change , your mam is beyond the point where anything matters but the next drink .
As always you have done your best at the risk of your own well being .You are fighting your way back towards health and hoping you may get a more secure home . I beg you not to spoil all that now . Stick close to those who truly love and care for you and don't let toxic stuff in .
We will be behind you whatever you decide but think it through love .
Well done to your husband he sounds a real diamond . x
Lyn I'm pleased HWK is feeling a bit brighter x
It appears many of us are expecting a lot of that full moon !!! I was fired up by Nargles post last night but we've had grey low skies all day and heavy rain - I doubt I'll see it .
Take care all .
polly x

pollyanna_26

Crossposted again Lyn , beginning to think we're psychic ! x

candlelight_2013

Good evening all,

It has been quite a good day, weather wise, but it has definitely turned chilly tonight. We haven't done a great deal, went to SM for a small shop, put the Dyson around, made lentil soup and then this afternoon just chilled out.

DGD has gone to the cinema with her sister and friend to see the new Tim Burton film and they are also going to have something to eat as well.

I had my diabetic foot check and asthma check yesterday, both were fine.

Lyn, I am pleased HWK is on the mend, sometimes one course of antibs is not enough for a UTI. I think you will be cuddled up in the warm tonight just like us.

Lainey, I am pleased you have been able to talk to Mum, I know you can't change the knowledge she now has, but if somehow she has been able to accept it then all to the good. To be honest, if I were in her position, I don't know whether I would want to know. One way, yes so that I could put my house in order, and then the other, wondering when the time came nearer. It is good she is relatively pain free and long may that continue.

Fuddle, I really don't know what to say my lovely, I remember reading your posts when I first joined MSE, and how troubled you were about your Mum. Clearly not a lot has changed and never likely to. My DD1 was a nurse before she had to retire. and she worked on a gastro ward which had a regular clientelle of alcoholics. She would sit with these patients, nurse them through their cirrhosis of the liver or oesophageal varices, and they would promise never to get in that state again, but of course 6 months or so later they were being admitted to the same ward with the same problems . Your Mum is so far down the line I don't think she has any control of this now, and she probably can't see that by telling you she is adding to the burden you already carry. I know there must be so many mixed emotions going on inside you, anger being one of those, but she obviously wanted to tell you, for what reason I don't know.

Take things steady and have a gentle hug from me, remember you are still recovering from a very nasty illness.

Hoglet I hope you have recovered, but not in any hurry to ride that bike yet Flora has forgiven us now but it took a good 2 weeks, she is such a little character.

SM we have the news on at the moment and that awful woman has just been on, she doesn't do much to endear herself does she?

Well I hope we all feel brighter after the full moon that Nargle has forecast for us, and keep the faith folks

Much love to you all and hope some of our problems become smaller after the weekend.

Candlelightx

[Deleted User]

Certainly are CANDLELIGHT we've lit the stove and the lounge is beautifully toasty warm, sadly I'm here in the unheated study which is NOT!!!

POLLY we seem to be thinking the same thoughts at the same time, Nell and I do it all the time, it's uncanny until you get used to it and then it feels normal. I'd like a pound for the number of times we've phoned each other and got the engaged signal because we're phoning each other, rather nice really. I've got your wonderful full moon outside, the clouds are patchy and he's sometimes just shining through them but when he sails out into the clear sky again he's magnificent and bright enough to light up the garden, a glorious sight!!! xxx.

fuddle

Me too! I.can see it here. Was full of it until DH said he thought it was bad luck to look at it. Eeek! what the heck eh?

elona

Fuddle

I think there was a theory about looking at the new moon through glass but I could well be wrong. Please look after yourself and don't get dragged down by being given the worrying news but not allowed to do or say anything about it. At some point we all have to take responsibility for ourselves and our choices, especially your mum.
You need to put yourself first for your kids and DH and for yourself.

Pneumonia is a beggar!!!! It took me months to feel anything like myself and I had to take things easy and recover.

Hugs to all

pollyanna_26

Hi Lyn I think there's a bit of witchcraft - in a good way - in me . The family reckon so as I know something is amiss with one of them long before they realise it themselves . We do the phoning or emailing at the same time too . I put it down to the combination of Irish and Scandi ancestry !
Elona I recall something about glass but can't remember what . I hope all is well with you and you're enjoying your home .
Fuds One thing I remember my mum doing is turning her money over at the time of the new moon . I can't recall why and will have to google that !
Well I didn't get the glorious brightness Lyn saw but I went out and gazed up and saw the moon - a little foggy but there all the same
Now we all wait with bated breath and see what happens . It was a lovely sight though .
Candlelight I'm glad your tests were fine . Have a nice weekend .
As always thoughts are with Lainey , her mum and all the family x
polly x

Nargleblast

Certainly a gorgeous full moon out there tonight, one of the many marvels of Nature. This means the next new moon will be somewhere near the end of this month.

Fuddle I think you know your mam has gone too far down that road to turn back, and the odd bits you have posted on here can only hint at how much you have done to try and help her. You can do no more, your life now is with your DH and your girls (who sound absolute diamonds). What will be, will be. Look after yourself and yours.

LaineyT

Just home from a very emotional evening with my darling Mum and brother, we have talked through everything from the letter through to all her wishes for the funeral etc and now we all know where we stand. It was tough at times but we also managed quite a few little giggles and daft suggestions which lightened the atmosphere when needed. We finished by having one big hug, just the three of us although like to think that darling Dad and my beloved eldest brother were with us in spirit, the original famous five
Drove home by the light of the beautiful full moon, it's so bright under the clear sky so stood for a moment in the garden gazing up at the stars. Just enjoying a small glass of red wine and relaxing before head to bed.
Dear Fuddle, am so sorry that you are having to carry such a heavy burden and obviously have for a long time, can't really add anything else to what our wise friends have already said but just to say am thinking of you and wishing you peace x
Night all xx