Child with Behavioural difficulties

Danni79

Dognobs - I'm very glad you have 3 well behaved children unfortunately i only have 2 very well behaved children and i have tried everything i can to "get control" but unfortunately i have not be successful, when your child is going through something i cannot help him with no matter what i do i'd say something were out of my control, he suffers everyday and whilst some children are easily diagnosed some children suffer for a long time until someone realises that there is a problem. I have not posted on this board asking what i can get because i want extra money for me and i can assure you every penny would be spent on my child. Don't make me out to be money grabbing - i have worked since i was 16 years old and if my child is entitled to something he has a right to access it.

He has been excluded from school on 10 separate occasions all for a 5 day period, this has occurred over the past 2 years, 3 terms of this he attended a school designed to support children with behavioural difficulties and social and emotional difficulties (two of the exclusions were while he was attended this school), the reasons range from hitting teachers to been verbally abusive to staff and other children, When he has these "outbursts" he cannot remember anything, its like he has blackout (usually he sleeps for approx 3/4 hours after out of exhaustion. I collect him from school when they feel he is heading for a "outburst" so they can prevent him having another exclusion on his record, this is usually once every 2 weeks.
He also had a play therapist who worked with him twice a week but the unit closed so now he only has a one to one support worker all day.
We are in the early stages of assessment so fingers crossed he might start getting some support, he has not been seen by anyone apart from CAMHS - who only met him once were a waste of time, the didn't offer anything - i have put in a complaint about them as i feel they did not provide a service that helped my family - which is what they are here for.
I do understand that he is at an age where they are cheeky and test you but his behaviour is beyond acceptable, its the level of violence he shows is very scary and i worry he will take it too far and seriously hurt someone, he has punched me a few times but he cannot remember doing this????
His dad lives quite far away and supports me when he has him but he states he is unable to leave his work to collect him as he doesn't have custody of him - no support from him i'm afraid, i'm not moaning about my situations i deal with what is put in front of me

Thank you for everyone's support i appreciate all your responses

kidcat

Danni- I agree you need to speak to the SENCO and request that he be seen by the Ed Psych. As he has one to one support I assume he been seen at some point by Ed Psych, its really important that you ask to speak to the Ed psych after they have met with your son. Our area also has a behaviour management team - it may be worth making enquiries if you have anything similar.

bargainbunny

Danni79 wrote: »

I've done the food diary thing before, to be honest he can have an outburst first thing on a morning before he has eaten anything,
He hasn't seen anyone other than his GP, CAMHS, a play therapist as, his school will write a supporting letter i think, Don't mean to sound thick here but whats a OT report, its probably very obvious?????
I might DLA they can only say no can't they???
His behaviour difficulties have been going on since he started school and seem to be getting worse, I got told to try DLA years ago but with being told his behaviour will improve with age i didn't see the point, but i can't see him getting any better at the moment especially when he is getting no support from professionals,

Hi school will help you complete DLA forms, Im glad you do not see him as naughty as that mean you'll fight for him.. I had a daughter who was seen as "naughty" in fact she had glue ear,blood disorder, adhd
and at age 3 the professionals was suggesting ritalin:eek:
of course I objected.. but she did indeed need a lot of help.
good luck

hayleylou30

Danni I have sent you a pm x

jollymummy

Danni there is a boy in the school I work in who sounds very similar to your son. We arranged an initial meeting for him, his parents and our SENCO person, an ed psych came in to observe him. Our local authority runs a scheme to help out and this involves his parents attending a course for half a day, once a fortnight, he attends with them and all teaching and support staff have been given training, so everyone is working with him in the same way.
He always seems particularly frustrated when things happen that he isn't expecting, but can get so angry at the drop of a hat. Have you contacted your local authority for help, they might run a similar scheme?
Good luck.

Blackpool_Saver

Sorry to ask personal questions, but do the well behaved children have the same Dad? has anything happened to the child with problems that could have caused these issue, difficult birth, traumatic experiences etc etc,,,,

My son is ADHD/ query Bipolar and has been under CAMHS care and mental health services since he was diagnosed at 5. Ignore the unkind comments and just listen to constructive help and advice.

Edited to add, my son had a wonderful SENCO at his junior school, he got extra help and I paid for Kumon maths and English and a private tutor, the combination of all these things really helped.

xylophone

In view of your very great concern and your description of your son's problems, would your doctor not consider a referral to a child psychiatrist?http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/treatments/howtogethelp.aspx

rotoguys

Danni79 wrote: »

It would help to compensate for the money i am loosing when i have to leave work -
as does every parent that has children!
its sometimes not possible for me to make back the time as no one will care for all 3 of my children at the same time,
Had you not better resolve proper childcare first?
It would help towards taking him out with his friends - i know not all outings cost money but he is at an age where everything he wants to do does,
Errr every child wants to be taken out!
he is also into music and his behaviour is greatly improved whilst he is focused on this type of activity- the extra money could go towardds lessons of extra activities ie clubs etc plus travel costs as i don't drive.
There are organisations that deal with that - sometimes free - does the school not have a music club?
Dognobs - my child is not 'naughty' as you put it, he has no control over his behaviour, if he was just naughty i think my life would be some what simplier
What would you call it?

To me he sounds like a typical 11 year old going on 14!!

have_a_nice_day_2

Dear OP.How much I do understand you,as I am in same situation!!!I dont know what can I do anymore with my child.And to you very good luck !!!

eskimo26

rotoguys wrote: »

To me he sounds like a typical 11 year old going on 14!!

Typical 11 year olds have periods of unprovoked violence and amnesia. Guess my 11 year must be different then. :rotfl:

As for Dognobs having children :eek:

If their ever was a time for pity. Poor kids.

OP see if you can't push a little harder with funds being so tight its much easier in these cases to label a child naughty then spend resources to find out the truth. Good luck.