Use of a dummy

thatgirlsam

Is it easier to look at other people , mums especially, and judge them rather than look at one's own shortcomings

All these judging other mums threads are getting tedious

dizziblonde

thatgirlsam wrote: »

Is it easier to look at other people , mums especially, and judge them rather than look at one's own shortcomings

All these judging other mums threads are getting tedious

No one made you read it - and the thread's moved on in quite a useful direction since then.

And yes, I think some parents SHOULD be judged - they should be judged when they're neglecting their kids for example and a lot of the pretty shocking stuff that goes on in some homes goes on purely because of this culture of "cannot ever judge a mummy."

meer53

Child 1 - had dummy from birth, slept on lambskin, face down, in cot with bumper and quilt. Now 6'2 25 year old with perfect teeth, never had a filling.
Child 2 - would NOT have a dummy, no matter how hard i tried to get her to have one. Premature, weighed 3lbs at birth, also placed face down on lambskin in Neo Natal unit. They said this was ok as she was laid on a breathing monitor.

Child 1 in his own cot at 10 weeks and slept through from then.
Child 2 in moses basket until she was 10 months, then in a child bed as she wouldn't sleep in her cot, she kept banging herself on the bars. She didn't sleep through the night until she was about 2 though. I'm convinced if she'd had a dummy it would have helped !

What you give your child is your business and no-one elses.

Taadaa

My mum suggested a dummy for DS as he wanted feeding every couple of hours and she thought it might be comfort but he spat it out as soon as he realised no milk came out of it :rotfl:horses for courses really.

It is awful when they are going to school with one in their gob though :eek:

delain

I've never given any of mine a dummy but I've never had a baby that was unsettled.

I don't judge people who do, unless there are school age kids with them.
I know a child with 'dummy face' you can see where her teeth have come through around it with a circle gap in the front.

janninew

dizziblonde wrote: »

And what a vile vile vile little dig at those who can't breastfeed. Sickening.

I could be wrong as I can't quite understand the whole of the post you quoted but could the poster have meant a number of things when they said 'provide natural comfort?' A hug could be called a natural comfort for instance.

I use a dummy for my Daughter, she was born at 27 weeks gestation and the Consultant recommended she have one almost straight away after birth to help her sucking reflex. When we were discharged he advised that I continue giving her a dummy when she sleeps for a further 6 months. He kept my Daughter alive so I didn't hesitate to take his advice.

I don't have any porblem with other kids having dummies, none of my business and I never notice what other people are doing anyway!

hngrymummy

Sometimes you have to do what you need to do, just to get through the day. If that means a dummy, then use it. If that means strapping your 4 year old in to a pushchair so that you can actually do the shopping, then do it.

At the moment I'm suffering badly with morning sickness. There are days when if my 18 month old wants his dummy and to watch tv, then he gets it, as it means that I can vomit in peace. It won't do him any harm in the long-run, as I know things will change before too long.

Try a bit of sympathy before judging parents. There is often (but not always) a jolly good reason for things.

GobbledyGook

Dummies are like anything really - in moderation and with a bit of thought there is absolutely nothing wrong with them, and many times they can be a sanity saver.

When a child can't speak properly because they've been allowed to talk around a dummy, when their teeth/jaw are deformed because of the amount of time they've been allowed the dummy for and when they are at school and are risking bullying because they've still got a dummy it's not the fault of the dummy - it's the fault of the parent.

Some people use tv's to babysit their children rather than have any interaction at all (and I'm not talking about small periods or in tough times, I mean all the time), but we don't hear people ranting about how much they hate televisions.

Poor parenting is poor parenting and if it didn't manifest itself in a dummy then it would be something else. For example I know one woman who continually snipes at someone else because the other person's 1 year old still has a dummy......yet her 2 year old has a filling in his front tooth because of the amount of coca cola he's allowed.

People are judgemental, parenting is a minefield and in general we should all be a bit kinder to each other because other mothers really are the worst for sniping despite the fact we know how damn tough it can be.

mildred1978

GobbledyGook wrote: »

When a child can't speak properly because they've been allowed to talk around a dummy, when their teeth/jaw are deformed because of the amount of time they've been allowed the dummy for and when they are at school and are risking bullying because they've still got a dummy it's not the fault of the dummy - it's the fault of the parent.

.

My 2 yr old son's front teeth are slightly misaligned, but he's never had a dummy. He's sucked his thumb for comfort since he was tiny - something we've evolved to do - and it's affected his teeth a little bit. Dentist is not at all worried. Has suggested I try and get him to stop by 5 or 6 do as not to affect his adult teeth, but where on earth do you start with that??!!

GobbledyGook

mildred1978 wrote: »

My 2 yr old son's front teeth are slightly misaligned, but he's never had a dummy. He's sucked his thumb for comfort since he was tiny - something we've evolved to do - and it's affected his teeth a little bit. Dentist is not at all worried. Has suggested I try and get him to stop by 5 or 6 do as not to affect his adult teeth, but where on earth do you start with that??!!

There's always going to be kids with teeth and jaw problems.

I was just meaning that children with problems specifically caused by a dummy (as in the parent was told by a dentist to stop them using it so much), but the parent didn't bother was more of an issue with the parent than the dummy iyswim?

My Nana bandaged my hands to stop me sucking my thumbs. It sounds barbaric, but I mainly did it in my sleep. I had eczema on my hands and my thumbs were red raw, bleeding and all sorts.