should i continue to buy presents for my nieces??

bonjovibel_729

hiya just wondered what ppls opinions were on this....i have two nieces and every year for xmas and birthdays i make sure i make a fuss of them buying them presents and a nice card etc not once have i ever forgotten...however i also have 3 children of my own and my sister hardly if ever buys them even a card.....my 8yr olds birthday was just after xmas and she didnt even get a card.....i thought this was quite mean of my sister as i bought quite a lot for her daughters for xmas.....

my husband is of the opinion if shes not buying for our kids we shudnt buy for hers...but i dont want her kids to miss out and for them to think of me the way my kids think of her....

what d u think shud i continue buying presents for her kids or not??

Plans_all_plans

How old are your kids? If yours are 15+ and hers are sort of 5ish then I wouldn't be annoyed, but if they're similar ages, it'd wind me up. And I know you shouldn't give to receive, but there surely comes a time when you think this is a p1sstake.

Do you not have the sort of relationship with your sis where you'd be happy to say something to her?

I'd tell my sis I was annoyed myself. I'd prob just say "is money tight with you at the mo, you've stopped getting the kids presents?" and she wouldn't get offended.

aggypanthus

I think you should stop getting them presents. Its unfair for your kids to wonder why they dont get any from them, whilst knowing you buy for them.

Aytoun27

I would go on buying presents for your nieces until they are older, especially if you have a good relationship with them at the moment and they are too young to understand or be responsible for what their mum does. It doesn't have to be a big or expensive present, just a little something to show that you've remembered their birthdays and not forgotten them at Christmas. I also think it's a shame that your sister doesn't do the same for your kids, but that's not your nieces fault.

POPPYOSCAR

Aytoun27 wrote: »

I would go on buying presents for your nieces until they are older, especially if you have a good relationship with them at the moment and they are too young to understand or be responsible for what their mum does. It doesn't have to be a big or expensive present, just a little something to show that you've remembered their birthdays and not forgotten them at Christmas. I also think it's a shame that your sister doesn't do the same for your kids, but that's not your nieces fault.

I agree with this.

It is not the fault of your nieces why should they be punished for what their parents do? And why bring yourself down to their level?

I had a similar thing with my brother but I still always sent my nieces birthday and christmas presents, which they always appreciated. It showed them that I care about them and something they have acknowledged now they are older.

silvercar

Communicate.

Ask your sister if she would prefer to do cards, cards + presents, neither.

euronorris

I would keep buying the presents, as they are for the child, not your sister.

So, IMO, the fact that your sister does not reciprocate is a separate issue and you should ask her why it is, and perhaps could she just be consistent at least. Maybe she just has a terrible memory and would be grateful for a gentle nudge a week or two before the birthdays.

warehouse

Personally no I wouldn't. Just send a card and spoil your own kids more, just like your sister does.

Hezzawithkids

I have a similar problem. My brother & his OH hardly seem to communicate so neither reminds the other of family birthdays, result - their kids get pressies, mine don't.

I share the opinion that the kids shouldn't be made to suffer because of their parents thoughtlessness. You don't give to receive, after all. Maybe scale back on the expense?

victory

Keep buying not expensive, just so they know that they are though of, what the parents do or do not do is not thier fault, shame it is not equal but many a thread is along the same lines and it is not but your nieces should not suffer because of it:D

ETanny

I'd be upset if I was putting the thought into getting my neices and nephew something and the thought wasnt being returned.
If it happend more then once I'd say something.