retirement plans

Newly_retired

OK. But when the big plan involves moving house this is not something we plan to do separately - though it is a tempting thought at times!!! Having had to put this plan on hold for the last 5 years I want to begin to work on it. That means decluttering for a start.
CAB - yes, chesky, this is something I do - but would be prepared to do less - or give up - if it meant that we could do more things together.
We have spent most of our lives doing things separately, still do.

Mojisola

Newly_retired wrote: »

We have spent most of our lives doing things separately, still do.

You are both in for a massive readjustment if you want to start doing loads of stuff together.

I know of several couples like this where one has been driven to distraction because the other suddenly wanted to do everything as a couple when they retired.

I realise that you've been waiting for this moment but I would advise to back off and take things slowly. There must be some decluttering you can do without your OH needing to be involved.

chesky369

Oh blimey! Moving house is a REALLY big new idea. I bet he doesn't want to.

Newly_retired

No it's not a new idea. It's what we planned to do ( slowly) 5 yrs ago, but go put on hold when DH took another job.

Pollycat

Are you sure that your OH still wants to move house?

From what you say, your OH retired at the same time as you but then took another job.
Was this because he didn't want to retire or was it a financial decision?

The more you say, the more I think he is not looking forward to his retirement with the same enthusiam that you did and the same enthusiasm that you expect him to have.

I think Mojisola has given you some great advice in reply #23.

It's not going to be as easy as saying on the first Monday that he's at home "Right dear, let's do this and then do that".

And I know this from experience.

Oldernotwiser

I never dreamed of planning for retirement - we just stopped work and got on with it. In fact, I don't think I really understand the concept so perhaps someone could explain it to me.

(Genuine request, not being argumentative.)

ETA.

Just got to the bit about moving - that I can understand needs planning.

globetraveller

Think back 5 years- did you both decide to move or did you decide for both of you?
If you want to start decluttering- get some boxes and put things in you don't think you need anymore. Then stick them somewhere like your loft or garage. By the time you really start thinking about moving, if nothing from the boxes has been needed then you can probably take the next step.
Stopping working - what most people look forward to is no more day to day stress. Perhaps your OH needs to have some of this when he first stops work.
When you talk about moving- is it within your area? Or a lot further afield?

chesky369

Perhaps he took the other job so that he didn't have to move. Perhaps he never was as enthusiastic as you about the idea.

Biggles

Newly_retired wrote: »

But when the big plan involves moving house this is not something we plan to do separately - though it is a tempting thought at times!!!

Hmm, I think there are clues there.

Having had to put this plan on hold for the last 5 years I want to begin to work on it.

Yes, you have plans that you have wanted to put into operation for years. But your spouse has been busy working in his job and now just wants to relax.

I can only echo what every other poster has said: give him time and wait to see what he feels like doing. Pushing him so hard now is just not on!

Newly_retired

We have just booked a 5 day break in June, stress free, no deadlines to meet, just a car trip, no other people to bother about. I agree he will need time to wind down as it has taken some doing to get even this in the diary.
He is a workaholic and in the sort of job where he is bound to miss something, to take a break.
Our main holiday will be in the autumn but we have not talked about this yet.

Meanwhile I will try to take the advice to begin my own share of decluttering - a drop in the ocean of course compared with his stuff - but it will show willing.