retirement plans

Newly_retired

Dh will finish his paid work later this year. I have been retired for a while now and have lots of interests.
We are making very little progress in talking about our future plans. I am getting frustrated as he is avoiding the issue, or actually getting quite stressed about it when we do talk.
My friends and family are supportive of my ideas but can also see why DH feels differently.
Any suggestions how we could manage to reach common ground or find a way forward?
I am wondering if some sort of retirement seminar or counselling would help.

jennifernil

Is he worried about retiring? Maybe worrying about money? Or thinking he will soon be "on the scrap-heap"? Worrying about what he will do all the time?

NAR

Newly_retired wrote: »

I am wondering if some sort of retirement seminar or counselling would help.

Does his work not provide this? If not I would think this is essential, to focus him on what he might wish to do post retirement.

jennifernil

Yes, about 6 months before OH retired, we were sent on a "retirement course" by his employer, one day per week over 3 weeks.

There were talks about organising drawing your pension, benefits, perks such as free bus pass, investing lump sums, dealing with tax, help with home repairs, volunteering, home security etc etc. All very interesting and useful.

Biggles

Newly_retired wrote: »

We are making very little progress in talking about our future plans. I am getting frustrated as he is avoiding the issue, or actually getting quite stressed about it when we do talk.

Maybe he feels that, now he is finishing work, he'll no longer have the need to be pushed into making 'future plans' all the time?

He's probably entitled to just have a break and relax.

Newly_retired

jennifernil wrote: »

Is he worried about retiring? Maybe worrying about money? Or thinking he will soon be "on the scrap-heap"? Worrying about what he will do all the time?

I wish I really knew!

Newly_retired

jennifernil wrote: »

Yes, about 6 months before OH retired, we were sent on a "retirement course" by his employer, one day per week over 3 weeks.

There were talks about organising drawing your pension, benefits, perks such as free bus pass, investing lump sums, dealing with tax, help with home repairs, volunteering, home security etc etc. All very interesting and useful.

Yes we have both been on one of these before we retired and I found it very useful. DH then immediately took up another job which is now coming to an end.
It is not financial advice we need now.

Newly_retired

Biggles wrote: »

Maybe he feels that, now he is finishing work, he'll no longer have the need to be pushed into making 'future plans' all the time?

He's probably entitled to just have a break and relax.

This may well be true.
But I have been waiting to move into the next phase of our lives for nearly five years and am impatient to prepare for it!

Mojisola

Newly_retired wrote: »

This may well be true.
But I have been waiting to move into the next phase of our lives for nearly five years and am impatient to prepare for it!

That might be the trouble. You've got used to retirement and are ready to move on.

Let him have a breathing space after work finishes so that he has a spell without having to do anything or be anywhere particular. Once he recharges his batteries, he should be ready to make plans, too.

jennifernil

Newly_retired wrote: »

Yes we have both been on one of these before we retired and I found it very useful. DH then immediately took up another job which is now coming to an end.
It is not financial advice we need now.

Ah, sounds like he really does not want to retire then.

Our minister is like that, his work is his life, he has no hobbies and will not know how to fill his days he reckons.

Does your OH not have hobbies that will help to keep him occupied?

Could he do some part-time work, or volunteer somewhere?

This would enable him to ease into full retirement gradually, but also give time to do things together.

Before OH retired he wondered for a while what he would do all day, forgetting all his interests that he really had too little time for then.

We started out his retirement with a 3 month trip to Scandinavia to a family reunion, visiting relatives in various places, and seeing parts of his homeland (Norway) that he had not had the opportunity to see before.

This included a visit to the head office of his ex-employer, where he was promptly asked if he was interested in doing a few months work for them on a job they were having a problem with.

So once home again, after a few weeks he was off back to his old office, having arranged to use a room there to meet the client. This went on for 3 months, then he had a few short jobs involving some trips abroad, but only if they fitted with our travel plans. Gradually things tailed off and after 2 years he was out of things altogether, and now not missing it.

I think the transition period helped, and he also had plenty of stuff to do on our house (still does!), so he is keeping very busy.

We travel (with caravan) about 3 months in Europe and another month around here, are "on-call" for repairs/improvements at our daughter's flat and our son's rambling old farmhouse, look after our local Guide Hall, and have the 2 grandchildren to keep up with.

Just before Christmas he took up wood-turning, so never a dull moment here.

jennifernil

Newly_retired wrote: »

This may well be true.
But I have been waiting to move into the next phase of our lives for nearly five years and am impatient to prepare for it!

Have you got a plan in mind? If you organised things, would he just go along with your ideas? Even if only till he gets used to being retired, and takes more interest in planning things.

Nothing too drastic immediately.....don't go putting the house on the market or anything like that!