Help - I'm a mess :(

flis21

Have just had a look at the NHS site and it looks like I may be able to get some help with my optical costs as I have a tax credit exemption certificate for my prescriptions and dental care. By the looks of it I need to phone my opticians and ask them about it. Will definitely do this as my annual eye test is due soon and that's usually around £15. Thanks F x

hp48910

Hey:) Haven't checked in much over the weekend. Been a busy one and DD2 has been poorly so catching up now.

Looks like there have been a couple of unconstructive posts over the last few days, no wonder you've used the inhalator more. Better that than the cigarettes:T I do wonder why people post such things on a forum that prides itself on the support it can offer others. Especially if they had read the whole of your diary to see just how far you've come. Notice they haven't been back on again. Don't worry, us regulars will keep you motivated with more beneficial pearls:rotfl:

Well done on the food shopping. I am a bit all over the place with money at the mo (not in a bad way for once) which is another reason I haven't updated my own diary. I have B/T'd onto my new cards, transfered my old loan to the new one and the balances haven't updated yet. I've been food shopping in different places depending on mysupermarket's results but again, haven't had the delivery to know exactly where I am. All a tad confusing:o

Wellyboots6

Hey,

Just checked back to see how you are getting on, and I am loving that you are so positive!

When you planned your meals for the week, what sort of things did you plan to eat? I am struggling for ideas for cheap meals and am ending up eating the same lidl meatballs day after day!

flis21

Hey Katy,
Well this week for dinner we have Chicken stir fry with noodles (only use 1 chicken breast for the 3 of us, I find the Tesco value ones are big enough).
Spaghetti Bolognese (made using value tinned tomatoes not a 'proper sauce' as it's cheaper and prob better for us!)
Got a large value pizza for a treat for the boys, it's only £1 and I add a few of my own toppings from what's in the cupboard, usually ham, sweetcorn, tomatoes and some extra cheese.
Chicken fajitas (again using 1 chicken breast, also value peppers and onions, value wraps and a small pot of sour cream, already have fajita seasoning in cupboard).
Macaroni cheese and fish finger pie. Already got the macaroni and fish fingers, so not too much to spend and I was buying milk and cheese anyway. The fish finger pie was an idea I got off the internet, you cook off the fish fingers, tip over a tin of value baked beans, add 2 tablespoons of stuffing mix, then top with potatos and brown off in the oven, the boys love it and it's a quick easy and cheap tea! Usually do a tin of green beans with it or some frozen peas.
For Sunday dinner I have a gammon joint in the freezer which I got on 2 for £6 last week, so we will eat that up along with some roast potatos, value stuffing (15p!!!), home made yorkshires, value carrots and frozen peas.

I do have a lot in the cupboards that I am using up at the mo, once that has gone I'm sure it will get harder to keep the spending down, but I am determined to try. Have got a book on budget meals and will be having a good read through the old style thread this weekend while boys are at their Dads, there seems to be loads of ideas on there.

hey HP, thanks for your post. My nicotine cravings have been a lot better today, prob helped as I was working so kept busy and didn't have time to think about it. I also didn't smoke when I worked anyway, so probably wasn't automatically thinking about it. Only used inhalator twice today and that was with going round my neighbours for a coffee after work and she went out for a fag. I didn't even feel like I wanted one, which seems like a big milestone.
I know what you mean about feeling all over the place tho. I'm making all these changes and am being good but at the mo I don't think things will feel all that different until the debt management plan is in place. Altho I am still considering doing it myself, as I think I could get it paid off quicker that way and do it more flexibly. As CCCS want one payment a month and they've rounded all my incomings up to monthly, when my benefits and maintenance I get 4 weekly, so they've got me down as bringing in more than I am. I want to put it down as the 4 weekly figures, then when once a year I get my extra payments I could use them to try and make final settlement on one of the debts. My Mum's an accountant and she's offered to help me do this. Also it would be easier if I could make payments to different debts each week, instead of one big payment a month, as my money comes in dribs and drabs all over the place! I think it could work. Also I could put the money in from when I do extra work, like in the school holidays and either use it to chip off some of the debts or put it towards a final settlement offer. I know from reading around on here that some of the company's will take a reduced amount if you pay it all in one go.

A lot to think about as usual!! Anyway, I'm shattered after such a busy day and the house is a tip, so going to do half an hour of tidying / cleaning up then off to bed with a good book (borrowed from my friend today, so no money spent!! lol).

Thanks all,
Flis x

Wellyboots6

Oooh thanks for those ideas!

The fish finger pie sounds nice. I will have to give that a go. My fish fingers usually end up in sandwiches, re-living my childhood!

hp48910

I'm not very knowledgeable at all about DMP's but if they are something you can take on yourself once you have the full understanding of how they work, especially as your mum is in finance, I'm sure that would work better for you. As you say, your money is not a simple montly payment so their calculations are not accurate before the plan's even up and running. You're a smart, newly savvy woman, I'm sure it's within your capability. I think you'd feel more in control too :O)

flis21

Thanks HP, that was what I was thinking. I want to be in control of this now. Feel like it has been controlling me for too long!!! With my Mum's help (she's fab, does my accounts and tax return for my business for me every year), I am sure I could do it and I think it would really work out easier and I could hopefully get the debts paid off even quicker as it would be easier to make extra payments. I kind of feel bad going 'against' CCCS advice, but I'm still doing it the way they suggested, just not using them to set it all up iyswim. I think this is the route I'm swaying towards. Means I will probably need even more support from on here, but doing it myself I think will keep me motivated an give me more to work towards rather than feeling that i just have this other 'bill' to pay every month.

Thanks, Flis x

hp48910

Well, we'll be here for you...I'm sure if you need to explain yourself just say that you can't make your figures match their suggestions :O)

MyLastFiver

Hi Flis, it's me, of the "unconstructive" post a few pages back. It seems my post has caused offence, so I'm sorry about that - I didn't mean it to.

When my wife and I were on our DMP a few years ago, we took a very tough approach to our spending and got rid of luxuries until our monthly budget balanced. We though "What do we really need?" then got rid of everything else. The contact lenses went, the cigs went, the gym memberships went, etc etc. Now that we're back on our feet, my wife and I look back on our old priorities and spending habits, and laugh at how daft we were, paying out for things we didn't need. We are just as happy without those things. Lots of people on these boards say the same thing, and I think that once you get back on your feet you might feel this too.

As for my comments about your ex, I have a real bee in my bonnet about dads who evade their responsibilities. I'm sure you don't need my sympathy but I do sympathise with you because I have female friends whose men have left them holding the baby, and lied, manipulated, threatened and blackmailed in order to get out of supporting their children properly. It almost makes me ashamed to be a man

It seems from your posts that your ex knows that amicable contact is important to you, so he uses this to get out of paying what he should, whilst you are scrimping and saving to make ends meet to provide for his kids. All I'm saying is that if you wanted to do something about this, you could. And if your ex would be prepared to break off contact with his children for the sake of a couple of hundred quid a month, then he doesn't sound like much of a dad. Or a man

I've looked back over a few pages but I must have missed what you have or haven't arranged with CCCS. I understand there's a difficulty because they work on calendar months whereas your benefits are paid out four-weekly. I'm sure you can work this out for yourself but if you need a calendar-month figure for your CCCS budget, multiply your four-weekly benefit amount by 13, then divide that figure by 12.

Having been on a DMP, I can highly recommend that you let CCCS administer your plan. When your creditors start to phone (and they will, and it can get to you after a while) you can tell them "I'm with CCCS - here's my reference number" then let CCCS do the rest.

Yes, I am a blunt, rude b@st@rd but I know about DMPs from experience, so if you need to know anything, just ask

hp48910

mylastfiver....Great that you've returned with some positive useful comments and advice.

Flis has recognised areas where she went wrong and is addressing them. If you have recognised that you can be a blunt btard, maybe that's something for you to work on, seeing as you aren't tackling the debt now;):p;) There's blunt and then there's constructive and the latter works much better on here.