Help - I'm a mess :(

LuckyLouise

** Deleted **

mooomin

MyLastFiver wrote: »

Anyhow it appears that the penny is dropping and congratulations for giving up smoking, however there are still areas of your spending that leave me open-mouthed. I earn twice the national average wage and have no debts, but I still can't justify the expense of Sky TV. And yes, I have two children. Please say you will drop this like a stone when your contract comes to an end. I hate my glasses too, but would rather wear them and put the spare cash into savings for my children, rather than have the considerable and expensive luxury of disposable contact lenses. Can you really, really not make do with your glasses for the time being?

At present, your children are going to grow up in poverty in order to pay your ex-husband's gambling debts. Despite the fact that he is keeping your children in poverty by not paying his fair share, you are still going on holiday with him. Aaah that's lovely.

Get. The. CSA. On. His. Ar5e.

Your benefits are there to support you in raising your children, not to pay the gambling debts of some irresponsible loser.

This post is patronising and unfair. Your tone also makes me think of this classic of tv http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh2sWSVRrmo

mooomin

Hiya Flis

Sorry I've not popped in for a few days but I've had a week of sh*te at work and have barely kept up with the forums

I'm really impressed that you're still off the ciggies, well done It does get easier after a few weeks, but be vigilant for those unexpected cravings Your food bill for this week is great too!

natdjay

Hi :wave:

I've just read through your diary and wanted to give you a massive pat on the back for your fab progress so far :T:T

I have to admit to making many of the same spending mistakes as you over the years, but thats what they are, mistakes, we learn from them and carry on, hoping to not make them again.

I loved your post about your cheap MrT shop! I did exactly the same thing this week. I checked out the cupboards and freezer (found 32 fish fingers??? :eek: Lol) and did my online order for £27 inc delivery! :j I did get 2weeks worth of meat from the butcher too but it still came in half the price of a normal week when added together. Lets just hope we can keep it nice and low!

I have 2 DS's also, 7 + 3.5, so i know what thats all about! Although i'm not single, my OH has had his head firmly in the sand until about 2 weeks ago.

Going to subscribe.

NDJ x

gailey_2

Only just seen this thread an wanted to say well done and good luck.

Lots been suggested already.

I have 3kids 2 in nappies.
im sahm and hubbys fulltime and we paying debts so know where you coming from on few issues.

Wish hubby would give up smoking.

try oldstyle for ways to cut back on food budget and search recipie for twinks hobnobs a supercheap biscuit.

I dont drive but hubby does.

only way we managed to trim food budget is to shop around

we have co-op locally 20min walk has best reductions
morrisions is 4min walk or bus
iceland 40min walk, tesco metro same.

sainsburys is retail park and 30min walk lidls is opposite.
I usually go lilds before sainsburys spend less.

See who will deliver to you as theres money off codes for 1st time customer.
we used to be loyal tesco customers but they the most pricey.

all th big 4 have baby evenst buy the wipes then
asda had 9pack pampers sensitive in huge box other day for £10 I think.

suncream but when on offer try superdrug.

order bulky stuff online.

lidls/aldis good for cheap fruit and veg

iceland -do home delivery if cant walk it home.I prefer farmfoods

our chest freezer saviiour as buy lots of reduced and frozen veg.

do you have local market for buchers or fruit and veg?

lots poundshops here started doing some foods like biscuits, crisps and drinks all top brands.


This just a thourght but please seek professional opinion only did one term of accounting but know a few people who self employed and claim some odd things on tax return like driving instucter with his new dvd player apparently for training students for theory test.

Well as childminder could you claim tax back against the sky as entertainment for the kids?

The libary does free dvds.

i reduced out sky package removed movies and hd as couldent tell difference.

love film-was going to suggest that as maybe they do kids stuff.

contacts

hubby wears something called optira 30day disposable lenses and costs 22 quid a month specsavers.
he does wear his glasses at home a lot though.
On about switching to boots as they reckoned equivilant be £18 and could earn advantage points 4points per £1 most generous loyalty card so 72points amonth maybe more.

If you saved adavnatge points then go big boost branch at xmas and do extra points days they do toys on 3 for 2plus their sales fab so could save the points for the sale.

Cashback sites-quidco,top cashback earned 200quid sinnce november on quidco as we changed home insurance, got new mobile contracts its been great can even get cashback on online food orders.

I buy most of kids stuff 2nd hand or sales.

i do charity shops
nct sales-check nct website nearly new finder clothes up to age 6.plus toys, books they very popular
carboots in summer
netmums and gumtree and local classified.
ebay love it as can search brands gender and size and get straight to what im looking for.

do you have discount outley near you we have mcarther maglen and clarkes village for gap, monsoon, cheap clarkes shoes.

try shoe shopping in the sales.


Odd question but are you musical? as rember lot of primary school teachers played piano.
what aboit tutoring if they come to you.
even at primary level some kids struggle and need extra help

you could look into locak home education network, maybe they want some support.

another thing that sprung to mind as fab extra is

kumon maths -eglish its franchise and self employed could work around the childminding.

we also have tutoring centres they nationwide called explore learning ours is in sainsburys and teach primary school kids might be flexible hours as they open day , evening and weekends.

you could look at other child related business franchises like running tumble tots yourself.

Noticed trend amonst nurseries to ahve least one member of staff early years maybe see

if could be consulting local nurseries offering training?
or could maybe seek part time employment as eldest nursery staff got aplace for their kid too and eldest 4starts school next year?

Check out up yoour income board

do online surveys
write online reveiws -dooyoo
list ebay/locally
mystery shops

what im doing this year is buying birthday pressies every month 2nd hand ebay will start carboots soon got 2 already for sons 1st birthday hes 1 in april.
find its spreading cost will start xmas shopping in september as thats last birthday before xmas.

other peoples pressies poundshop or asda for kids freinds.

did homemade food hampers last 2years.

growing stuff in garden and foraged free plums. apples, blackberries and cherries locally.

entertainment

My eldest does 3clubs a week so feel your pain with fees.
lot of cinimas vue/odean do £1 kids screenings on weekends and holidays.
swimming not too expensive
picnic in park
baking cakes
cycling
local cheap clubs crafts at church just £2 , libary have free crafts.
sure start centres do stuff too.

mine love simple things like pick your own strawberries
some treat toys at carboots..

never been butlins but try and self cater if you can and take packed lunches.

flis21

Wow gailey, thanks. Loads of good ideas here for me to work through. Someone else mentioned twinks biscuit recepie, will have to go and have a look. I've been on the old style boards a little bit, but not enough yet. Kids are with their Dad this coming weekend, so I'm hoping to have time to go through things a bit more thoroughly as well as ebay a load more bits. I'm aiming for 2 bits on ebay a day at the moment, which I have done for the last 2 days.

There is an iceland in town (which I can get to for free on the train), but I need to eat up what's in my freezer first, I have a fridge/freezer so the freezer bit isn't huge. I'll empty it of what's in there then look at iceland to restock it. I only have a Sainsbury's I can walk to and I tend to find them quite expensive. Tesco deliver to me. There is a Lidl, but it would mean a bus ride, so have to factor in the extra £3.10 fare. Although one of my friends shops there so I may be able to get a lift.

Will reply to rest later, DS1 getting upset!!

Flis x

loveGSDs

hi flis,

love reading your thread, you're doing so well!

just a wee tip from me - online surveys are good to make a bit extra cash. valued opinions do tesco vouchers (along with other vouchers) you could use these with your shopping . opinion world, toluna, global test market and pinecone are also good.

id also like to say that i think you responded to the not so friendly post im such a mature/calm manner. a lot of people would have went on the defensive but i think you handled it very well :cool:

K xx

flippin36

Just finished reading your thread and wanted to add to the support you are already getting! Well done on making the decision to stop smoking - it sounds like you are a really determined lady, good for you! I have never met anyone who regrets stopping smoking, it will benefit your health, business and children, that's some incentive so KEEP GOING!

Also remember that your kids are still very young, it gets so much easier to up your income as they get older and you will find yourself with more time and energy. It will be tough for awhile but it won't always be this hard.

I wish everyone who comes to dfw for help had your positive/mature attitude to make the changes you needed to make.

Have subscribed .

antonia1

Hi Flis, just been reading your thread and wanted to say congratulations on the massive steps you've taken so far, and good luck for the future.

My mum was in a similar situation to you - tho my dad left for his secretary (how cheesy is that?!). She went from having a secure family home to absolutely nothing and living on benefits within a matter of weeks (my dad even took the money out of my sister's bank account). Now I'm an adult I really appreciate how hard it was for her, and I look back on my childhood as perfectly happy, if a little frugal.

One piece of advice that might be practically useful - have you checked if you are entitled to an NHS optical voucher? I think it means that the discount you would be getting off glasses can come off the contact lenses instead. More info here:

http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/am-i-entitled-to-an-nhs-optical-voucher.aspx?CategoryID=68&SubCategoryID=157

flis21

Hey guys, thank you all so much for the positive comments. It really is helping me to stay focused and keep going.
I'm having a good day today. have been really busy as our local school had an inset day, so I had 3 extra children to look after from 8 till 3pm! I took them to the park, but purposefully didn't take my purse so when they asked for sweets on the way home I had a good reason to say no!

I didn't know there was any NHS help with optical costs, I will definitely look into that one.

I will definitely look into the surveys thing, a couple of other people have mentioned it as well. Just not sure I have the time to spend ages on here. I can pop on for a few minutes at a time in the day, but with my boys and my minding it keeps me pretty busy. In the evenings I tend to be tidying, doing housework, listing things on ebay or sorting my finances (remind me what it's like to have time to relax!! lol). I'll see what i can manage tho.

Thank you also for the positive comments about my handling of people who are not quite so supportive. I think at the grand old age of 32 (:eek:) I've finally learnt to live and let live. there will always be people that don't agree with you or you don't see eye to eye with. There's not really much point getting too upset with it.

The minding will definitely get easier as the boys get older. At the moment I'm only allowed one other child under 5, as both of mine are under 5 and you're only allowed 3 in that age group at a time. Come next Jan DS1 will turn 5 and then I can at least take 2 under 5's, which will be useful as I've had enquiries in the past from people looking for childcare for siblings both under 5 and I've had to turn it down.

Once again thanks all, I'll have a longer look at all the suggestions tonight (If I'm not too worn out after looking after 5 kids for most of the day!! lol).

Thanks, Flis x