Help - I'm a mess :(

Naomim

flis21 wrote: »

Then going on about stuff he wants from the boys for his birthday (which of course I am expected to finance!). He does take the biscuit and I am getting better at standing up to him (he wanted stuff from the boys that totalled £50, I told him i was spending £15 - £20 max. he wasn't happy tho!)
Flis

Hi Flis,

In your situation instead of buying the ex something from the boys, make some biscuits or cakes with the boys and get them to draw some pictures/scribbles/doodles. Cheaper and made with love (from his children)

Naomi x

flippin36

I agree with naomim - I was gobsmacked that you would be spending even £15 on your ex - OH. A homemade card from the kids is all that is necessary (possibly a cake/biscuits if you were feeling very very generous). I totally understand you want to keep things amicable but you can't afford to [STRIKE]waste[/STRIKE] spend any more money on him. Also if you spend £15 on him aren't you giving him the impression you have spare cash? By going completely frugal on him he will eventually get the message that you have other priorities now. If he can't appreciate a homemade card and a homemade gift from his own kids then there is seriously something wrong with him. I think you are going to have to exercise your mean side for your own good .

bunnylajoya

Just want to butt in and say that you can get menthol rollies! Every shop I go to you can buy menthol filters (I smoke them) and they actually taste a lot nicer than menthol cigarettes! I know during stressful times the last thing you want to do is give up, but the amount of money you save is ridiculous. A 20 pack of cigarettes costs near enough 7 quid these days, compared to a box of tobacco I buy (Amber Leaf.. nearest tasting baccy that tastes like an actual fag) is £3.50 and lasts me 4 days.. Don't want to advocate smoking obviously but I recommend switching until you want to give up!

flis21

bunnylajoya wrote: »

Just want to butt in and say that you can get menthol rollies! Every shop I go to you can buy menthol filters (I smoke them) and they actually taste a lot nicer than menthol cigarettes! I know during stressful times the last thing you want to do is give up, but the amount of money you save is ridiculous. A 20 pack of cigarettes costs near enough 7 quid these days, compared to a box of tobacco I buy (Amber Leaf.. nearest tasting baccy that tastes like an actual fag) is £3.50 and lasts me 4 days.. Don't want to advocate smoking obviously but I recommend switching until you want to give up!

I've already given up thanks!!

flis21

Sorry haven't been around much, have had really nasty tummy bug. Money saving wise tho it's been good, I haven't eaten anything, haven't been out anywhere to spend any money and my neighbour has been having the kids and feeding them!!!! lol. Rather drastic tho! Am feeling a little better this morning, got some items ending on ebay today and tomorrow. One ended already for £34!!! Got 3 more ending, 2 with bids on so lets see. Am planning on putting some more bits on this weekend, have got a box now that as I tidy and go round the house I can put anything into that I want to sell. The box is getting rather full tho!!!

I think you are probably right about the money management and I think that might be why I was struggling so much (along with the overspending, fags etc!). I tend to think of my money in a weekly basis not a monthly basis. Will try and shift my ideas. Work my budget out over the whole month so i know what I need to put away each week to cover bills etc. This will help on the one week of the month where I don't get any money coming in apart from a little bit from work. That is the week that I always end up too skint to buy anything and struggle with food etc. I have one of those e-saver accounts attached to my bank account (usually use it for putting my housing benefit in until my rents due). I can use that to put money aside in until it's needed.

I am still going to proceed by myself, but might make all the payments twice a month instead of trying to get some in every week. That might be easier to manage and I can then set them up as direct debits or standing orders so I won't have to remember to go in and pay people.

And thank you to firesidemaid for the pitta pizza idea, am going to try it next week as my boys love pizza!

Right, better go get DS1 ready for nursery, thanks for everyone's opinions and advice. Am going to really work on the cashflow management thing.

Flis x

flis21

Oh and had some good news yesterday, apparently if I stay off the cigs for 4 weeks I'll get £40 worth of tesco vouchers!!! So that'll be a weeks shopping these days.

Naomim

flis21 wrote: »

Oh and had some good news yesterday, apparently if I stay off the cigs for 4 weeks I'll get £40 worth of tesco vouchers!!! So that'll be a weeks shopping these days.

Brilliant news! :T

Hope you are feeling better, we were all been subject to tummy bug last week and it's not nice :eek:

Naomi x

tanyacapper

Whoever agreed to lend you all that money at those banks/credit card companies shhould be shot!
How in earth did someone with some little income manage to end up with so much debt!
I really feel for you and your boys :-( I hope you manage to keep your head above water and sort this out.
No one should be suffering like this x

flis21

Naomim wrote: »

Brilliant news! :T

Hope you are feeling better, we were all been subject to tummy bug last week and it's not nice :eek:

Naomi x

Thanks hun, tummy is still not good, it's been 3 days now. I seem to be ok if I don't eat anything!!! Thank goodness kids have gone to their Dad's now so I can get some rest and hopefully kick this.

Oh and just wanted to say Whoop Whoop as I am now at the 2 weeks smoke free mark. According to my quit statistics I have now saved £62.11!!

Flis

mooomin

Well done on getting to two weeks