Is this too old?

euronorris

No thanks required! You're very welcome

As it happens, a friend of mine gave birth yesterday to her first (a little boy), after 7 years of trying, several IVF rounds (resulting in hospitalisation due to allergic reactions to the drugs) and a very difficult pregnancy. She had 3 different consultants looking after her at one point, but now that is all over, little one is here and they are overjoyed.

OP - my friend didn't experience any issues due to age (she is only 32, so started trying at 25).

kingfisherblue

Toniq, just wanted to add my best wishes for you. It sounds as though you have had a very traumatic time. Take care xx

Wife, for me, I would ask what are your thoughts on having a child with Down's Syndrome? Statistically, you are more likely to have a child with DS after the age of 35, with the odds increasing further each year. Would you have tests? Would you risk amniocentesis (which carries a small risk of miscarriage)? Would you abort the baby if it did have DS (bearing in mind that you might already have felt the baby moving inside you before you get a definitive answer)? Would you and your husband agree on the answers that you give?

Yes, children with DS are born to younger mothers, but they are still questions that you should ask, especially as you might be older than 38 when you conceive. DS occurs at conception - I was 29 when my son was conceived. He has Down's Syndrome and a high number of medical problems. He will never live independently. But..... I love him to bits and he is a wonderful child. He is happy and loves to make people laugh. He doesn't know any different, so his disabilities don't get him down. He does ask occasionally why he wears nappies and the children in his class don't, but accepts my answer that it is just the way he was born (he was born with a rare bowel condition and is doubly incontinent).

My (now ex) husband had a really hard time accepting that our child is disabled. He loves our son and sees him weekly, but would have wanted me to have an abortion if he had known that our child had DS. That wouldn't have been an option for me - I love my son for who he is, not for who he might have been.

Good luck with your decision.

Suzanne_Louise

Absolutely not!

I was 37 when our DD was made, and 38 when I had her. I was worried, as I had no choice as to which hospital to go to as I was an 'old' mother, but we had a totally hassle free and easy labour, and the midwife said I was a natural.

Go for it!

flutterby_lil

I don't think it's too old, no. Would I do it? No. I am 31 and pregnant with number 2. OH is 40 next year and that was his limit. Mine, was 35.

However if I wanted my first and was 38 I would prob think differently.

Good luck - you are only as old as you feel, or the man your feeling :rotfl:

System

I was 34 when i had my youngest child. I found i hadnt got the energy i had when i had my first at 18 but i had loads more patience.

osian

I had my first at 32 and I've just found out I am pregnant with my second at 35 (though very early days at the moment).

I've always thought that my cut off age was 35/36.

If I was older and childless, and wanted children....I would definitely try for them at an older age, assuming I was still fertile.

I think my friend had hers at 41, but she had been trying for 6 years and had IVF. I do know other mothers who have had their children in their late thirties and early forties.

make_me_wise

I am 39 and have just had twin girls. I didn't plan to leave it till this age but mother nature had other ideas.

I became aware during my pregnancy that if you are over 35 then there can be more associated risks like conditions such as down syndrome etc.

If you are fit and healthy and feel ready for a baby then I would say go for it. I have no doubt that my friends probably found their pregnancys, births and the newborn stages easier as they were much younger than I am when they started out as parents. I dont have their energy levels now.

However I feel very secure both financially and emotionally. I have learnt to take life as it comes and dont stress the small stuff. I think becoming a parent in my 20s would have been far more stressfull and I wouldn't have had the confidence or experience of life to feel able to just get on with it. I saw many friends of mine feel intimidated by midwives, health visitors and the like. They also didn't cope well with the 'lets compare babies and have a dig' brigade. Once you are heading for 40 you can calmly but assertively deal with people like that.

I have recently found out that having children changes your life forever, very much for the better

pigpen

The former head at our primary had her son at 44!

geoffky

no! Go for it..

carolpinkdreamer

38 is NOT too old.