Is this too old?

lostinrates

I agree it's not too old for many people, but think it is too old for some. Both Dh and I had what then really were considered older parents, and both knew we wanted children in late twenties or early thirties....we felt our parents were hands off and they just didn 't. 'get down on their knees and play":D

Many younger parents would have been similar, and I think their are pluses and minuses to both, but from our experience as children we wanted to be like the baby bears porridge, not too old nor too young. Life doesn 't always work like that though.


Physically, my mother had had a baby in her early twenties and found her pregancy with me very much harder. But again, I dare say it's an individual thing. There are many filter healthier peor in late thirties and forties fitter than many twenty somethings.

Mrs_Arcanum

Nearly 37 with my first & nearly 40 for my second. Whilst I was in hospital with pre-eclampsia before DD came along there was a lovely lady in with us who had a son at 46 (her other sons were 20 & 22).

My grandmother was 46 when she had my Mum in 1922. The last of 11.

Good luck.

Emmzi

tea_lover wrote: »

Problems such as? I'm intrigued as to what the NHS won't help with?

I assume this is with conceiving, where a lot of services cut off at 35, as opposed to the pregnancy and birth.

gerdo

So are you going to have a baby based on what a bunch of people on a public forum tell you?

Go and see your doctor, he will actually know
what he's talking about.

fluffnutter

DS4215 wrote: »

38 isn't too old if you don't have any problems. If there are issues it can be harder to get medical help with it on the NHS.

Just to clarify - NHS fertility treatment can be limited if you're over 35. Help with pregnancy and your baby isn't!

tiernsee

There are more risks as you get older, particularly if this is your first and at 38 you should be offered additional screening. I had my second a week after I was 40 (first at 32) and had amniocentesis which we considered long and hard before doing as with all procedures there are risks but for us it felt the right thing to do. Pregnancy was harder the second time round but that could just have been me and nothing to do with age! I think the risks for things such as gestational diabetes may increase as you get older and I was advised that because I was older they would not let me go beyond the due date and would induce me if she hadn't arrived (she came a week early). Provided you ensure you have all the appopriate ante-natal care and if you have any pre-existing medical conditions you discuss these with your doctor I really can see no issue with having your first baby at 38.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Lotus-eater

gerdo wrote: »

So are you going to have a baby based on what a bunch of people on a public forum tell you?

Go and see your doctor, he will actually know
what he's talking about.

Well it's not the 1st time she's asked the same sort of question. The one before was shall I emigrate or have a baby?

And the IVF age was discussed last time as well.

belfastgirl23

You're asking the wrong question here. if you want a baby and you're 38 then that will have to be the right age because you can't exactly decide to have the baby at the age of 36 instead! Presuming that you aren't asking whether you should wait till you're 40 that is. So the question is more whether you want a baby really isn't it??

tea_lover

Sorry, I was reading it wrong. I'd read that as problems with the pg or child, rather than problems conceiving.

Yes, NHS fertility treatment can be a real battle at any age, but certainly can get more difficult when you're older.

Cissi

OP, I haven't read your previous thread but I think my reply would be different depending on whether you're younger than 38 and considering waiting until then to have your first child or whether you're 37/38 and currently trying (or pregnant)!

No, I don't think 38 is generally too old to HAVE a baby - but as someone who tried for 5 years to have our first and was lucky enough to finally have two children by IVF (at 33 and 35) I'd never recommend that someone wait until their late 30s before trying - not if they really want a child. Sure, it may happen right away, but then again it may not and then your options are limited at that age.

I have plenty of friends who conceived naturally in their late 30s, but I also have two close friends who each got married and started ttc at 38, with no luck for many years. One eventually had a child at 44, by IVF, but had no luck with #2, which she's very sad about to this day. The second one ended up travelling abroad for IVF with donor eggs and had twins at 46(!) - huge blessings, but not a choice that everybody would make, and certainly not a frequent outcome. A couple of other friends in similar situations have either not wanted/been able to afford to go down the IVF route or been unsuccesful and are now living child free. The hard fact is that this is a likelier outcome the longer you leave it - but this may be outweighed by other factors in your life and only you and your partner can decide this.