Nice people thread part 5 - nicely does it

Nikkster

PasturesNew wrote: »

I'm old enough to be her mum ... and can hardly think of an activity less exciting.... it'd be like a Special Train Ride Into Old Age.

You need to be freeeeeeee - especially as it'll be summer and a bank holiday weekend. Need to do something summery and fun. Trains constrain.

That first bit made me laugh out loud PN!!!

Yes, summery and fun sounds like a plan. Even if its just a nice walk in the countryside with some pub stops on the way...

lemonjelly

Nikkster wrote: »

Thanks lj - feeling much better about it all today. I generally am a 'my birthday is just another day' kind of a person too.

Steam train not my kind of thing, and I don't have any friends around here any more. I think thats one of the things that is playing on my mind too - I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people and have lost contact with the majority of people who used to be friends. I have a habit of thinking that if they wanted to keep in touch they would so I won't bother them, then time passes etc etc...

I think my bro is going to head back up on the Saturday and weather permitting (ie so long as its not raining really heavily) we might have a bbq or something. That'll be just fine

Nikkster wrote: »

That first bit made me laugh out loud PN!!!

Yes, summery and fun sounds like a plan. Even if its just a nice walk in the countryside with some pub stops on the way...

The important bit in the song "happy birthday" is the happy bit.
As long as whatever you do/whatever happens makes you happy, everythinbg else will take care of itself.

Don't build it up. I guarantee something will happen & you'll smile!:)

Nikkster

misskool wrote: »

There are lots of good and bad things about being in fixed term contracts. I can see why it's good to have because you push yourself like no other, having security means you may not be performing at your best.

Also, you need to be at the top of your gain to progress and gain more knowledge and you can't afford dead wood around so again, that is a way of trimming it.

There are the obviously bad vibes, women who want children but have to time their pregnancies with great precision, work hours that are absolutely not family friendly and stresses which are best left unsaid.

I don't think it will change (not in this life time and certainly not in the next with the way the budgets are working) so it's working your way around it or choosing very positively jobs outside of academia where your skills will excel.

(more later, I have some experiments to run and MUST stop procrastinating)

Hope the experiments go well

I completely agree, there are big plus points to having fixed term contracts. And I definitely don't think that its going to change from that - if anything they're getting shorter. And I can see that system being used in other industries too. Its just that feeling of insecurity! You're right - you either have to go with it or find where you want to use your skills elsewhere.

Nikkster

lemonjelly wrote: »

The important bit in the song "happy birthday" is the happy bit.
As long as whatever you do/whatever happens makes you happy, everythinbg else will take care of itself.

Don't build it up. I guarantee something will happen & you'll smile!:)

Well I have been honoured with a long weekend around the big day so thats definitely a good start Some sunshine would be good too but I don't want to ask for too much!

I'll try not to build it up - I don't think my mum will be asking what I want to do again!!

PasturesNew

Nikkster wrote: »

Thats one of the things that really bugs me about working in (mainly academic) science - I know 'jobs for life' aren't really available anywhere, but in science its definitely just short or medium term contracts. Anything over 3 years is pretty impressive. Had this discussion with my supervisor ages ago, and he said he'd never found it a problem in terms of getting a mortgage, having kids etc, but for me personally I think its would always be at the back of my mind that the end of the contract was looming.

At least you know your end date - in "normal jobs" you could be called in at any minute, of any day, today, tomorrow, or next week .... or (most common) stopped on your way out of the office at 5pm on Friday to be told "Sorry - no more job".... downsizing, sold, gone under, retiring, relocating...

I literally - and really - drive home every day from a job and say out loud to myself "well that's another day you had a job!".

PasturesNew

Nikkster wrote: »

I don't have any friends around here any more. I think thats one of the things that is playing on my mind too - I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people and have lost contact with the majority of people who used to be friends. I have a habit of thinking that if they wanted to keep in touch they would so I won't bother them, then time passes etc etc...

I've found that as girls get boyfriends they hang out with their bf's mates. Their bloke's mates become their circle. If you're not in a couple you get dropped. If you are in a couple then you can end up with some friends who are also a couple - but if you're a single female, all your female mates just get absorbed into the life of the bloke.

Once they get married, they then hang out with married women. Once they have kids they hang out with women with kids. And, as a single woman, you're completely left behind.

Many people will jump up and say "Oh, but I have a single friend...." but that's probably not a single friend that feels able to drop in on them, call them up for fun stuff to do at the drop of a hat.... they're just single people who they used to know and see occasionally now. Bet the single friend's sitting at home in PJs thinking "I don't know anybody any more really".

PasturesNew

Nikkster wrote: »

... it could all certainly be a lot worse!

Yes, you could be an old spinster, living in the 4rse end of nowhere

vivatifosi

PasturesNew wrote: »

Gosh, this takes some maths.

82 sq m = 880 sq feet (rounded).
Assuming two floors, that's 440 sq feet per floor.
If that were a square it'd be 21' square (on each floor). As a rectangle it could be 15'x30' (on each floor).
Yep -- that's not overly huge is it.

My caravan was 300 square feet and plenty of room. My last studio was 250 square feet, plenty of room but wrong layout.

With good storage and the correct layout, even small is big.... but big with the wrong layout and no storage is cr4p. Current place is bigger but no storage and cr4p layout.

Yes my house is very similar measurement to the 15'x30', just a couple of inches out. My old house was tiny though. 368 sq ft, but with a staircase in which took up a lot of those sq ft with landings and stuff that could be used for absolutely nothing. Caravan's are way more useful in terms of space than that. Oh, and the space layout in my old house was dreadful. There was only one wall long enough to put a sofa against. In a brilliant feat of design, it was also the one that had everything plumbed into it, so once the sofa was there you couldn't get to anything. It also had a point to plumb in a feature gas fire, though why you'd want a feature anything in a room that was a maximum of 12 x 12' and also had a staircase in was beyond me.

PasturesNew

One thing that completely confuses me in housey programmes on the telly is when they (Phil/Kirstie, other designer/presenters) look at built in cupboards, ceiling to floor, and say "take that out - make the room bigger" - and I think "why? you've then got to buy a wardrobe (or 2-3) and find a space for that ... and end up with less storage and a more cluttered room.

JonnyBravo

lemonjelly wrote: »

So NP's, do we give suggestions? How about:
http://www.svr.co.uk/

Day out on a steam train, shopping & lunching with mum &/or friends?

Was there on Sunday with the Mrs' godson.
Lovely day.....
apart from the squealing kids.


The Doombar at Bridgnorth made it a bit better though.