Birthdays

victory

Why did you feel the need to start present giving 5 years ago when your friend never reciprocated or even remembered your birthday on the correct day?

The first year it happened did you not think this is not equal and will stop or have a quiet word with her or will just send a card?

*Louise*

Amandaj32 wrote: »

Basically the advice I should take is - buy presents and shut up about it or just ignore birthdays all together. I get it - I can't make people be like me. Is it so bad to be disappointed that a simple Thank You isn't offered.

No...I think a number of people, myself included have suggested you send a card to acknowledge the birthday, which would still be a nice gesture. You should still send gifts if that's what you want to do, but if that's your choice then you shouldn't hold any resentment towards her.

It is a shame you don't get a thank you but what can you do? You can either point it out in the hope they learn som manners or accept it. I do know how you feel, I have 3 nieces/nephews that I send cheques to for their birthday and I only know if they got them when I see the cheque has been cashed.

I send thank you cards their way for my childrens gifts in the hope they will get the hint and now and then if there's no sign of the money leaving the account to them we phone up to see if it arrived.

Amandaj32 wrote: »

Louise - fair point - but she hasn't always had 3 children. The younger two are under fives.

The number she has is irrelevant really, depending on the age of your child if he is at least 2 then you would have realised after that amount of time that she isn't the gift giving type.




Personally, if someone was buying gifts for my three kids I would be embarrassed not to send something in return but she is either really thick skinned or she is hoping you will stop. Just my opinion.

balletshoes

Amandaj32 wrote: »

We have been friends for about 5 years - but she has never given cards or presents. I suppose it's because the two children's birthdays are so close that it is more obvious. I've got a small gift and a card and I think I will definitely be going back to just cards this year.
It'll be awkward suggesting that we don't exchange Christmas presents as she doesnt give to DS but I think I'll be dropping some obvious hints about money problems etc!
(The sad thing is - if there was any sign of a thank you or if I had been told the children had enjoyed the presents I probably would just carry on as before!)

it doesn't need to be awkward, just say next time you're chatting that you've decided to cut back on Christmas presents from this year, so will just be sending a card instead (whether thats to each child or to the whole family in one card is up to you).