Birthdays

Bluemeanie_2

Amandaj32 wrote: »

It's not the present buying that's the problem or even getting a present. The thing that hurts me more is not even an acknowledgement of the present - even to be told that the children liked the presents or a simple thank you would be enough. BTW I'm in a similar financial position as the friend. The same goes for cards. I think a nice card with thought is sometimes better than a present. I'm certainly not judging people by the size or even the giving of presents. I think I feel for my son as he is delighted with anything he gets.

True. It is just pig ignorance not to thank someone for a gift. Very ungracious.

Amandaj32

The other friend also texts or phones EVERY YEAR a couple of days after my birthday. One year was acceptable, two or three were funny but I can't help thinking if she remembers a couple of days afterwards why does she never remember. She said last year she had a card -but I never got it

*Louise*

Teenie_D wrote: »

TBH if it was me I wouldn't give her son the birthday present, your friend has stopped the trend of buying presents so I would go along with it.

I was thinking that as well. Maybe she has thought that if she doesn't buy for the first birthday of the year you would get the hint and not buy after that. Obviously it would be better to discuss it but some people feel uncomfortable.

I would still send a card though.

I don't buy for friends children, I have enough family to buy for already withut adding more so I just send a card. They all get enough presents from family members anyway

SailorSam

They were talking about birthdays this morning on the radio. It was the presenters birthday and he said 'cos it was so close to Christmas, when he was growing up he'd never get presents. They started a phone-in on the best/worse birthdays people had had. One woman phoned to say when she was little her Mum told her that they'd arranged a street party, she said she thought she was so special when the police closed off the road and bunting and flags were put up. It was only many years later when she came across some photos of her party that she realised it had been the Queens coronation.

Amandaj32

We have been friends for about 5 years - but she has never given cards or presents. I suppose it's because the two children's birthdays are so close that it is more obvious. I've got a small gift and a card and I think I will definitely be going back to just cards this year. It'll be awkward suggesting that we don't exchange Christmas presents as she doesnt give to DS but I think I'll be dropping some obvious hints about money problems etc! (The sad thing is - if there was any sign of a thank you or if I had been told the children had enjoyed the presents I probably would just carry on as before!)

*Louise*

Amandaj32 wrote: »

We have been friends for about 5 years - but she has never given cards or presents.

.

There you go then.....


I don't know why you even started tbh, let alone carried on for 5 years with no thank you's, I would have stopped a long time ago

kj*daisy

Honestly, just stop. She probably wishes you would as she has never bought you anything. I wouldnt even say anything about it. Also don't get annoyed people don't remember your birthday, it annoys me when people get the hump about this sort of thing, there is too much going on in life to be fretting about friends birthdays and whether I've remembered them all. Some of my friends forgot my 40th, id invited them out but they couldnt come and hadn't realised id organised a night out because i was 40, they just thoUght it was a normal birthday. I was not upset in the slightest. Some people really aren't good at this sort of thing, if you get oN well otherwise don't let it sour your friendship.

Amandaj32

I'm not upset my birthday wasn't remembered it's the fact that she jokes about 'forgetting' it every year as she 'remembers' a couple of days later - I just don't get it.

Basically the advice I should take is - buy presents and shut up about it or just ignore birthdays all together. I get it - I can't make people be like me. Is it so bad to be disappointed that a simple Thank You isn't offered. Yes, I'm sorry if people's financial situation isn't great - but a thank you doesn't cost anything. I think she knows me well enough to know that I'm pleased to remember the birthdays. I think the opposite is the case - I think she thinks I've got plenty of money (NOT TRUE) and therefore it's my choice to buy presents. It is, of course.

I should just stop caring so much and think more of myself for a change!

Amandaj32

Louise - fair point - but she hasn't always had 3 children. The younger two are under fives.

Peater

I would stop buying pressies for friends and children of freinds. Otherwise, where does it stop?

Also consider that birthday's are not as important to some people. Personally, it's just another day of the year to me and i actually get annoyed when freinds give me anything more than a card. I will however say 'Thankyou' but imply that perhaps they should'nt bother next time around as there is no way in hell i will return the gesture...