what would you doin this situation? thoughts please!

chloo

hello!

my oh and i myself have to be out of our rented property by the 1/feb/12.

we are trying to save up for a deposit on a house and for our wedding so we are thinking carefully when it comes to our next move.

we have four options as far as we can see.

1. move in to a flat share with a woman with our own room and ensuite and pay a total of £380 plus electricity so call it £420pcm.

2. move into a house share with a lady (who owns the house) and her child (7) for a total of £400 per month.

3. move into a house share with whoever else the landlord gets in for £425 pcm

4. move in to my oh's mums house. this would cost us £200 per month. mse wise this is the best. but relationship wise this isnt!! his mum and i clash as she babies him a lot. when we have discused us moving in she has said we cant do our own washing or make our own dinner or park on the drive and other rules she has set.he doesnt particually want to live with his mum again but sees that financally it makes sense. in a way his mum is quite controlling and being a guest/lodger in someones home that you will have in your life for a long time its quiet hard to tell them to stop or to grow up a bit!

if we were to get our own place it would be £595 rent plus bills and c.tax so aprox £880 depending on the c.tax band.

we have looked at taking a property with friends but decided against it as it could get messy!

has anyone got any ideas as to what we should do?

thank you

coolcait

Sit down with your OH. Talk about your options.

All of them.

Including buying a smaller house (smaller deposit) and having a smaller or cheaper wedding.

Plus other options not on your list. And the option which didn't make it on to your list of four (get our own place it would be £595 rent plus bills and c.tax so aprox £880 depending on the c.tax band)

Write down the full list of pros and cons for each option. All of them.

Talk again.

Decide together what you should do.

That's what I'd do.

sharrison778

Saving money is great but you need to feel comfortable in your own house too. Your future mother-in-laws demand sound a bit controlling to me and since you and she dont get along already, it seems like a dud option.

I'd go with option 1 if it were my decision.

Peater

Don't go to the inlaws. You may save £200pcm but you will lose your relationship.

All the other options sound reasonable, althought buying a house AND having a wedding in the same year seems optimistic.

Sambucus_Nigra

If you are living in a house, how can you not use the washing machine, park on the drive or cook for yourselves? It's just setting the scene for a huge 'you don't do anything round the house' row before you even start on 'I have no clean clothes', 'I am hungry and just wanted a snack', 'I'm just parking here to drop stuff off' conversations/blow ups.

You need to sit down with him and decide as a couple what to do; and presumably as you only have 3 weeks left, do it pretty quickly.

Oldernotwiser

I'd go for #1 myself, for everybody's sake.

j.e.j.

Definitely not nr 4.

I've seen it happen. Someone moved in with his girlfriend and MiL, thinking about the money it would save. People tried to warn him but at the time he just had £-signs in front of his eyes, LOL. He came to regret it, and got really down and depressed about the situation for quite a while. Don't ever move in with parents or MiL if it can be avoided.

podperson

I think option 4 sounds like a recipe for disaster. Of course you want to save money but would it be worth it to possibly permanently damage your relationship with his mother - and it sounds like you're well aware that you would be clashing in a short space of time!
Personally I would go with option 1 as it's still fairly cheap but sounds like it would still allow you to have your own space.

daska

I'd be tempted to look at how much you can save each month if you cut back to absolute basics and put your efforts into getting the deposit together. You don't NEED an expensive wedding. If you want to get married then get married and have a combined reception and housewarming in the house before you fit new carpets LOL. Be realistic, if you're going to put away a couple of hundred a month then you need to avoid FMIL like the plague BUT if you're putting away £3K a month and house prices are reasonably low where you are (am seeing 2 beds for £75K here) you could have your deposit in six months and FMIL is worth considering.

Treed

Number 1 seems the best option.

Number two as she has a young child simple things like having the tv too loud could keep the child awake and cause problems etc.

Number 3 is reasonable, however you could end up sharing again with someone with children/

Number 4 JUST NO. Dont do it to yourself of your OH.

and to rent on your own would be more costly.


Good Luck

talulahbeige_2

Avoid option 4 at all costs. I did this for the same reasons, it was a nightmare and ended up with us buying a house way too soon (100% mortgage) and splitting up 6mths later due to money!