what would you doin this situation? thoughts please!

make_me_wise

/\/\/\ Very good point raised in the post above

Nicki

I dont think MIL wants you to move in, but doesn't want to say you can't. So she has done her best to make it look really unattractive to you so that you don't put her on the spot.

Is there another option? Could you rent a place yourselves which has a spare room which you take a lodger in. Then if you struggled to get on with the lodger, you could easily get rid and get someone more on your wave length in. You might be able to achieve this on a budget not too dissimilar to what you have posted for other flat shares, but being the lead tenants, who can choose who they share with and decide the house rules, might be more pleasant than being the lodgers yourselves, or having other tenants inflicted on you in an HMO?

chloo

Nicki wrote: »

I dont think MIL wants you to move in, but doesn't want to say you can't. So she has done her best to make it look really unattractive to you so that you don't put her on the spot.


i very much agree but i also think she doesnt want to lose her controlling motherness!!

Is there another option? Could you rent a place yourselves which has a spare room which you take a lodger in. Then if you struggled to get on with the lodger, you could easily get rid and get someone more on your wave length in. You might be able to achieve this on a budget not too dissimilar to what you have posted for other flat shares, but being the lead tenants, who can choose who they share with and decide the house rules, might be more pleasant than being the lodgers yourselves, or having other tenants inflicted on you in an HMO?

we were thinking of that for the proterty we are currently in but it is a 2 bed flat with a small doublr (us) and a single so to make it feesable we would have to charge £400 for a single room :eek::eek::eek:

just had a call from a ll with a shared house he wants £300 per month yeahhhh :j:j:money::money: wicked we have three viewings tonight so will post after we have been to see then and then see what everyone thinks!!

make_me_wise

Good luck, hope you find something you like.

WhiteHorse

Smaller house. Registry office wedding (a secure roof over your head comes first. You can do the big thing years later if necessary).

chloo

we had no luck

the houseshare with the lady and son was no good the house stank and i mean stank of stale smoke the lady also didnt seem very sure of how long the room was available for

the flatshare with the one woman with an ensuite omg not a chance in hell!! put it like this we would need a stab vest and thats not very mse!!!

the houseshare was okay but no parking and room moldy and gas and elec all on pay per go meters the kitchen and bathroom were skanky for example the bathroom had a broken shower and no curtain and was mouldy and cold the bathroom was grim kim and aggy how clean is your house would of loved it!! the worksurface by the sink had rotted and raised!! there was an abandonded car in the back garden!!!!!!!!!

we have another house to view that i managed to secure but it had an old lady that was batty as hell in there wonderful beautiful house but she was mumbelling away and not quite finishing her sentences! a bit of a loon i think!!!!

anyway back to the drawing board! have looked on g.tree and s.room and e.roommate now so hopefully we will get something!

have another viewing tomorrow night in a not to nice area but the house is identical to another we can view on sunday both at good prices but about £90 difference between them per month!!!! but again that will come down to housemates and the option to take our own stuff!!

thanks for putting up with my rambles!! xx

snowleopard61

Nicki wrote: »

I dont think MIL wants you to move in, but doesn't want to say you can't. So she has done her best to make it look really unattractive to you so that you don't put her on the spot.

I don't know ... if I were in a situation where my daughter (who lives at home now) asked if her boyfriend could live with us so they could save money to move out together, I would want to do all I could to help them, but would find it very hard in any case, and unbearable to have them doing so as a household within a household. The only way I could countenance it is if I treated him as another 'child', and catered for him and did his washing as I did everyone else's. It's nothing personal at all; I'm just very private and quite solitary, and this would be the only way to keep the kitchen to myself.

The mother-in-law isn't necessarily being just mean, she may be trying to make the best of a situation she finds very difficult. I completely agree it would be a very undesirable set-up, but it's a bit unfair to assume it's a manipulative tactic.

lostinrates

Op, if you are in a two bed ATM and looking at rooms can you look at the prices for studios or true one beds? Sometimes a sustainable medium term measure is cheaper longer term, than trying things that won't work and moving a lot!

chloo

lostinrates wrote: »

Op, if you are in a two bed ATM and looking at rooms can you look at the prices for studios or true one beds? Sometimes a sustainable medium term measure is cheaper longer term, than trying things that won't work and moving a lot!

a studio is £500 plus bills so about £640ish so an extra £200 pcm which is another £2400 per year

or a one bed is £595 i know crazyyy!!! i have a veryyyy cheap 2 bed as the location is dodgy! its dog rough really!!

thank you very much for the sugestion!

going to view three move tonight

1. house share iffy road but cheap and house looks nice

2. beautiful house looks okay area and good price but comes with an extra room for the room im looking at so can be used as a office for uni work and a store cupboard for all the extra stuff we have eg sofa microwave, crockery table and chairs ect!!

3. the most amazing modern funky house ever!!! annoying as no bills are included to want to find out estimate for month but its in the best location ever!!

ill let you all know how it goes! thank you for all of your imput