Would anyone else leave a sleeping baby home alone - or am I overreacting?

emsywoo123

No way on Earth.

I am a single mum to an 8 yr old and 13month old, being a SP is no excuse. Yes it's harder, but you just cope!

daska

sulkisu wrote: »

Thank you all for your replies.

In this instance I think it really is a case of 'I know what the dangers are, but it won't happen to me'. Far from being a young, naive woman - she's a professional in her late 30's. She has a good job, a big house and could easily afford a babysitter. I mentioned most of the things thst you all have posted, e.g. the possibility of a fire, burglar, her being hit by a car! It just went in one ear and out of the other. We have Asda, Sainsbury's and Tesco home delivery covering our area, so anything can be delivered to her front door. At least I know that I am not overreacting.

Our mother baby group and baby clinic are combined, so we see the same health visitors. As someone suggested, I might mention it to the health visitor first, just to see what they think.

I know that he's not my child but if anything happened to her son because she has left him alone and I knew about it but had done nothing, I would never forgive myself.

Then she is being a selfish, thoughtless and irresponsible woman who is placing her child at risk and you need to report her to Children's Services. Chances are that a shot across the bows from them might change her attitude very quickly.

teabag29

I cant imagine how anyone could deem this behaviour as acceptable. What if the child were to be sick during the time she was out and choked on its vomit? there are a million what ifs and children are too precious to take chances with. Op I would certainltly air your concerns to this woman and perhaps as a good friend offer the odd hour here and there to help out? Its her responsibilty as a mother to protect her child and she is not doing that by leaving him alone. Trips to the shop should be with the child or left until the next day. If she is unable to do that then yes I agree with other posts tha SS should be involved as she quite clearly isn't putting her childs safety first.

adouglasmhor

puddy wrote: »

no it isnt, there is no law age wise about when children can be left

however, the OP is an absolute no no and im surprised that she felt so casual about telling you, shows she has no idea about the risks involved

There is in Scotland and has been since I was a kid, they used to have posters on the buses about it.

MrsManda

I agree with the other posters, it's not a safe thing to do. As dlorde posted, though there's not a legal age a child can be left alone it comes down to whether the child could be at risk. As babies are not capable of looking after themselves, being aware of and able to avoid danger, or able to get help should something happen then a baby left alone is always going to be considered at risk.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Yourchildshealthandsafety/Yourchildssafetyinthehome/DG_070594

Plus it's just cruel to abandon your baby and hope he doesn't wake up while you're out - there's a difference between popping next door to ask for a favour and leaving the house out of sight and hearing.

As for him not being able to climb out, I was ~10 mths old when my mum woke during the night to discover I'd falled out of my cot (with very high sides - old fashioned cot) - I'd suddenly discovered my houdini skills, I was just lucky that I landed well and my mum heard me fall.

If you're a close enough friend to this person, sit down and talking to them to see if you can get them to realise what they're doing is dangerous and that if it's because she doesn't see a way out let her know you can help if she needs it.
If you're not that close then speak to your HV - try to phrase it in a way where you're not accusing her of being a neglectful mother but where you're worried about her and her child and whether she needs some extra help as a single parent.

As you've already said, you'd never forgive yourself if you didn't say something and something happened to the child.

Lizzieb151

I agree there is no way that a baby could be left on their own!! Since my frineds baby died of cot death, I can't even put mine 1 year in her cot without me being (there just in case something happened and I was downstairs!)
However I would think twice about calling SS and speak to the health visitor first in confidence and explain your worries, maybe they could speak to her and highlight possible dangers and not just in the way of what could happen to either of them when she went out but what could happen if SS were involved and her child was taken away.
It would then be difficult to get the child back and she would never be able to leave the child again so she might as well start finding a way around it now.

victory

No way would it have even entered my mind, absolutely not, never

adouglasmhor

adouglasmhor wrote: »

There is in Scotland and has been since I was a kid, they used to have posters on the buses about it.

Actually I am wrong it was a bye law in Glasgow only

teabag29

I'm unsure why some posts are against calling social services? This woman is putting her child at risk and thats what SS are there for. If more people came forward to SS about children being put at risk then perhaps there wouldnt be so many abused and neglected children that couldnt be saved in time because they didnt have a voice and nobody to speak out for them. Besides social services doesn't mean the child will be put into care, they are there to offer support and help to keep families together wherever possible.

Mupette

No way would i leave a little one on their own, not for 5 mins let alone 20.

not sure how old her lil one is but if they are 11 months like yours then they will climb out of a cot if they can.

Does she not think of other what if's...

A fire in the house?

it maybe convinenent to do what she does, didnt realise having a baby was inconvenient for her.

she should be careful social services doesn't pay her a visit