Would anyone else leave a sleeping baby home alone - or am I overreacting?

ziggy2004

Do you think she may have been telling you because she is not coping on her own and wants someone to help?

I could not leave my child alone out of reach of the baby monitor but can see how others would run to get something for a couple of minutes ( never lived close enough to a shop to consider that)

tea_lover

I'm amazed that some people you spoke to thought this was ok! I'm with all the other posters on this - it's completely irresponsible and incredibly dangerous.

I'm not a parent (yet), but surely it's basic common sense that you don't leave a baby on his own? My sister's a single parent but not once has she ever left my niece on her own, even to pop to the shop and it's literally 2 doors away.

It's really quite scary that this woman seems to think this is ok. I think I'd be having a word with the HV. I'd rather lose a friendship (if it comes to that), than live with something happening to the child.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Nope. It's wrong. Just as leaving a bunch of infants alone to nip off for a meal was.

I don't know a single parent (and believe me, we aren't talking overprivileged in the area I live) who would dump an active toddler in their cot and assume they can shove off shopping for a couple of hours. In my old block of flats, we'd be playing musical babies half the time, as there would be a knock on the door 'can you take her whilst I take the bins out/get the shopping upstairs?'. You just don't do it.

She needs to know that you don't stick a kid back in the box when you get bored with it and go back out to play, that's what dolls are for when you're about 4.


I am completely immune to those NSPCC adverts. I don't get all emotional about things. But to dump your kid in a cot that they are exactly the right age to be climbing out of and go shopping for the afternoon? That's wrong. Criminally wrong.


I would find out next time she's planning some 'me time' and call SS and the Police then. See how she reacts when she comes home to find her ever so slightly boring toy is gone.

daska

SS involvement doesn't automatically mean that child will immediately be taken into care and the parents imprisoned, it doesn't necessarily mean there'll be anything more than a phone conversation. What happens will very much depend on the attitude of the mother when they contact her.

And no, I'm not someone who has a rosy, unrealistic notion of SS. We're in the middle of (yet another) assessment, this time triggered by Adult Services wanting to slide some of our support costs onto Children's Services, and TBH I'm bored with SS being called in, the nursery did it twice, once because they thought it would be a kick up adult services backsides that I needed more help and, after a change of management, in an attempt to deflect attention from an injury DS2 incurred at the nursery which they failed to record properly. In both instances there was a visit, a phonecall and an "I really don't think we need to get involved, he's obviously fine". On other occasions it has literally been a phone call just to check some facts and a 'sorry to bother you but we need to double check before we can close the incident down'. And every time SS gets involved it hampers and delays some other aspect of DS2's care as other professionals have to stand down while they investigate and report - this time it's delaying his statementing so I'm understandably hacked off about it. My point being that, by and large, they are capable of judging where to take action and where not.

Alizarin

OP, I can't believe you've spoken to people who have said it's ok - that's terrible!

I'm with all the other posters, there are so many terrible 'what ifs' and if this lady is stupid enough to think "It'll never happen to me" then she needs a [STRIKE]good slapping[/STRIKE] serious talking to by SS.

I don't particularly like children, but I'm actually quite angry and upset now thinking that someone could treat their child like this.

missbishi

sulkisu wrote: »

Thank you all for your replies.

Far from being a young, naive woman - she's a professional in her late 30's. She has a good job, a big house and could easily afford a babysitter

I know that he's not my child but if anything happened to her son because she has left him alone and I knew about it but had done nothing, I would never forgive myself.

Sounds just like the Mc Canns themselves. NOBODY is above the law, be you a single mum or a happily married GP (of course, this isn't always the case in practise).

I understand what you mean though, we sometimes tend to think we are "sticking our nose in", but the safety of a child is paramount. Well done you for not letting this pass you by!

missbishi

Alizarin wrote: »

I don't particularly like children, but I'm actually quite angry and upset now thinking that someone could treat their child like this.

I feel just like you, I am CFBC and will remain so but at the end of the day, children are defenceless and their mistreatment makes my blood boil.

Loanranger

I nipped out to the shop once, oh and while I was out I called next door for just a minute. When I opened my front door I thought, blimey, this place smells just like Joe's Cafe...
I'd left the grill on and there was some fat in the bottom, kitchen full of smoke and fire in the grill oven compartment. Cue loads of damp towels and gloves on and I put it out but not before I almost had heart failure.
Another time, I popped some clothes in the tumble dryer. Closed the kitchen door and settled down to watch Corrie.
Half an hour later I opened the kitchen door to find it full of smoke and a strange red glow coming from the back of the dryer. Put out the fire myself and learned two hard lessons.
BTW, I don't have children and only mention these incidents to illustrate how things can happen to the carelessly minded.

That woman doesn't deserve to have a child.

abacus73

Lizzieb151 wrote: »

I agree there is no way that a baby could be left on their own!! Since my frineds baby died of cot death, I can't even put mine 1 year in her cot without me being (there just in case something happened and I was downstairs!)
However I would think twice about calling SS and speak to the health visitor first in confidence and explain your worries, maybe they could speak to her and highlight possible dangers and not just in the way of what could happen to either of them when she went out but what could happen if SS were involved and her child was taken away.
It would then be difficult to get the child back and she would never be able to leave the child again so she might as well start finding a way around it now.

Can see the sense of what you have written here. It is my understanding though that the health visitor would have to report this kind of knowledge about a childs welfare, though I may have that wrong.

dibuzz

I used to go to toddler group with a neighbour. She sometimes took her hubby to work at 6am so she could have the car.
She wasn't ready one morning as her son was late waking up so I asked her did transferring him from cot to car not wake him and she told me she didn't take him and never did as she knew he wouldn't wake up.
I was shocked and asked what would happen if he was sick, the house caught fire or she had a car crash but she was the "Oh it won't happen to me" type.
She moved house just after so I don't know how long she kept it up.

I also had to tell my MIL off when she offered to bath my one year old, she left him alone in the bath and came downstairs. Apparently she did it all the time when hers were babies.
Some people don't deserve kids and you just know that if anything did happen it would be somebody else's fault not theirs.