Would anyone else leave a sleeping baby home alone - or am I overreacting?

madnessandmayhem

That has turned my stomach to knots thinking of him being by himself
I have an 8yr old, 4 yr old and 8 month old and I would never leave them.
it's all well and good her saying 'oh he will sleep for a couple of hours, but what if he doesn't??? My 8 month old usually sleeps for about 1 1/2-2 hours, but the other day he woke after 20 minutes absolutely howling (he's teething ) what if that was her son and he was there screaming for goodness knows how long?????
Anything could happen to him, and quite honestly she is taking a very big, very unneccessary risk by leaving him-lets hope the day he decides to try climbing out of his cot isn't the day she decides to go and do her shopping.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

madnessandmayhem wrote: »

lets hope the day he decides to try climbing out of his cot isn't the day she decides to go and do her shopping.

It'll probably be the day she decides to lock the bedroom door instead.

Lilly11a

My two are ten and eight. The ten year old has just started walking to school by himself but this is 400 yards with 2 cul-du-sac type roads to cross and I will walk the eight year old ten mins later so check the ten year old has got there ok.

The kids will also go to the park for half an hour sat afternoon but I can see the park from my kitchen window so can keep an eye

LL30

This thread makes me so sad. As someone who's worked with parents for many years in my previous job (CAMHS), and being a single parent myself, I know parenting is hard, but this really isn't a matter which is up for debate. You ring up the duty social worker and report it, end of story. I know SS have a bad name in many respects, but they don't just swoop in and take children. I have reported a friend before, and I'd do it again, despite my personal feelings about doing it. Your opinion and relationship with this mother do not matter - it is the child's needs which need to come first.

jokeyjo

i could never have left mine at that age ,my olest has just moved into secondary school and i had to be stopped from walking him to bus stop on the dark mornings i will now pop next door taking youngest 2 with me (9,7) leaving oldest to watch tv or play on games console for 10-15 mins but he has mobile and a set of keys as i lock door when i go

Teenie_D

I've not read all the responses so I apologise if I'm repeating what others have said, but this actually made me feel a bit sick and so so sad for the wee toot.

I can't believe a mother would be so irresponsible, anything could happen and at the very least the little one could wake up earlier than she expected and be crying for his Mum

Anybody could be watching that house and if they know how long she has gone for........well it's not even worth thinking about. Hopefully you feel you are able to speak to your friend OP and help her understand why she really really shouldn't be doing this.

carefullycautious

She could be suffering from PND which has dulled her emotions. She certainly has no inbuilt 'danger' warnings that us mothers have.

I have worked with mothers like this and they just dont get 'Danger'

She definately needs some help.

Or should I say that little one who has no voice needs it more

sulkisu

clearingout wrote: »

with all due respect, you are describing your relationship with the woman concerned as a 'casual acquaintance' so I would question how you could judge what she is/isn't able to afford. I am in my 40s, a professional single mum, my house is bigger than most in the immediate area. I can't easily afford a babysitter although perhaps to 'outsiders' it would seem that I should be able to.

Comments such as 'I couldn't live with myself' simply serve to introduce an element of hysteria and mob mentality into the mix which I'm not sure are helpful. I suspect, rightly or wrongly, Social Services wont' do anything (assuming mum isn't already known to them).

I am not 'assuming' anything. I based this statement on what she has told me. At the mother/baby group we discuss everything, work, money, family etc and (unless she was making it all up, of course), she's works in the city, earns over £90k p.a, and lives in a house paid for by her child's father. When we spoke about her leaving her son, her attitude was that there were certain things and places that she couldn't possibly take him to, such as having her nails or waxing done. Even if the all of the above is untrue, if you can afford to spend £x on a manicure or having your legs waxed, surely you can afford to pay someone to watch your baby while you do it?

In an emergency, I get it (I think I do- although I wouldn't do it myself), but to go shopping or to the nail salon, just seems reckless - especially when there are alternatives. She's a nice woman and I like her as a person, but this just feels wrong.

I don't think that there was anything hysterical about my comment, but we can agree to disagree on that one.

catkins

I am very very surprised that anyone you spoke to thought it was ok. No one on here has said that.

I have no children but my heart breaks to think of the baby waking and crying for mum. He could wake just as she left and then spend ages crying.

Also, as others have said, there are lots of things that could happen - fire, burglary, the baby could choke, mum could have an accident while out etc. Ok all those things are unlikely BUT they all do happen and no one knows if and when they may.

I personally would report her. You have spoken to her and she did not take any notice or seem the slightest bit concerned. She needs to be reported

POPPYOSCAR

sulkisu wrote: »

I am not 'assuming' anything. I based this statement on what she has told me. At the mother/baby group we discuss everything, work, money, family etc and (unless she was making it all up, of course), she's works in the city, earns over £90k p.a, and lives in a house paid for by her child's father. When we spoke about her leaving her son, her attitude was that there were certain things and places that she couldn't possibly take him to, such as having her nails or waxing done. Even if the all of the above is untrue, if you can afford to spend £x on a manicure or having your legs waxed, surely you can afford to pay someone to watch your baby while you do it?

In an emergency, I get it (I think I do- although I wouldn't do it myself), but to go shopping or to the nail salon, just seems reckless - especially when there are alternatives. She's a nice woman and I like her as a person, but this just feels wrong.

I don't think that there was anything hysterical about my comment, but we can agree to disagree on that one.

I have to wonder why someone like this would even want to have a child in the first place, when her nails are more important!!

Would SS even do anything though? She only has to deny it and presumably has enough money to employ a good lawyer anyway.