Struggling Now - Prem Baby

*Dee*

Jannine i was also told after my emergency c section not to have any more children, i dont think i want any more but im upset that the option was taken away from me. I dont have any experience of babies being in SCBU but i can imagine its heartbreaking.
Dee xx

Abbafan1972

Jannine - your post has bought a tear to my eye, as It could've been written by me also!

I had my eldest daughter in November 2001 at 24 weeks. She was born by emergency c-section due to me having pre-eclampsia. I got signed off work to rest due to high bp, after a while I went to one of my ante-natal checks and they kept me in. It was the scariest thing. After being in hospital for a week, my hands and feet had swollen, also my face had got much chubbier. I got transferred to another hospital, as at the current one there was a bed for me, but no room in SCBU for baby.

When it come to signing the consent form before going into theatre, I could barely hold the pen as my hands were so swollen.

Louise spent the first 4 months in SCBU and we spent so much time there, it was really hard. Christmas that year was just a blur. When I wasn't at the hospital, I would ring up to see how she was.

Your little one sounds like a real fighter! Try and be strong for her.

Like the others have said, don't hesitate to come on here to talk. PM me if you want to talk and don't want to put it on the public forum.

Please keep us updated and don't forget to look after yourself as well.

Big (((hugs)) to you and your family.

janninew

Just a quick post, I will read back properly tomorrow as I'm exhausted and off to bed! Thanks so much for all the support, it really does help. I have been at the hospital tonight and Poppy has again had ago on my breast and she was settled when I left - this means I may sleep well tonight! There is nothing worse than leaving her when she is unsettled.

I have also had a chat with my husband and feel like I've got some of my strength back. Tomorrow is another day and I will keep on going for her.

I really appreciate the support and stories - it gives me hope that I can get through the tough times ahead.

Good night.
x

BitterAndTwisted

janninew wrote: »

I've seen my GP this afternoon and he said when I next start thinking about having more children to see him and he would refer me to a Consultant Doctor at the hospital. I had a good cry in the room with him and felt so much better afterwards. I realised that I haven't actually cried since the night I had her in November.

He has said he is worried that I am at high risk of getting postnatal depression and he wants to keep an eye on me.

I left feeling slightly better, so that's got to be a positive thing!

Is it comforting to know that he's going to keep an eye on you?

Angel, I had a little sob when I read your post and I'm not even a mother.
Having a good cry and really letting go is so good for you. Expressing all that pent-up fear and anguish and getting rid of some of it is such a good thing. I cannot imagine what all those hormones swilling around in your body are doing to you as well. What I can imagine is that you desperately want to hold and nurture your precious little girl and you can't: you have to let other people do that for you for the moment. This must be very, very painful to feel so powerless.

My sister had her first child very, very early some years ago. I had never seen a baby so small in my life. I had a good bawl when I saw her for the first time, thought a glass partition in her incubator with me standing in a corridor sobbing in front of strangers. I could not imagine how painful it was for her mother.

Anyway, she survived and we were warned that baby's development might be slow. That she may never be as tall or intellectually equal to her peers. They were wrong, wrong, wrong. She's as tall as her Mum and extremely clever. She graduated with a First Class Honours Degree in a very tough science subject not long ago and is going to be a huge success in her career. Research at Harvard even.

Medical practitioners may be highly-educated, hard-working and dedicated but they do not know everything. They might think that you shouldn't or can't have a baby in the future but that's not a fact.

I 'm wishing you and your family all the very best. Give your darling little baby a kiss from me. She's going to be well and causing you all kinds of trouble before you can turn around, I'm sure.

meritaten

my sis had twins at slightly more than 23 weeks - both had major problems after birth and the team looking after them were brilliant! that was 11 years ago!!!!!!!!!! both girls are are very bright though very different individuals! one is very physical and loves dance, girly stuff and sparkles - the other loves books and is quite introverted, though very funny in a dry sort of way. both are very 'normal' girls - considering they were so prem and that one had a brain 'bleed' - you would NEVER know it!
Hang on in there - its amazing how tough babies can be!

*newstart*

I just want to say to all the people following this thread and mine that this kind of situation makes you realise that whatever is going on is not as bad as it could be.

I really hope everything works out for you ok op

lollyb84

Nothing constuctive to add other than what has already been said.

Just wanted to add my support for you and your family. xx

summerday

As a new mother to a full-term infant and finding that enough of a struggle, I just want to say that I'm full of admiration for you Jannine. Even though you've got lots of things on your mind you've kept up the expressing for so long (and I know how hard that is after less than 2 weeks!), daily visits, health concerns about baby... keep taking it 1 day at a time. You are a wonderful mother for being so dedicated to your special little one and I hope you have enough support and faith to keep going as I'm sure your baby will catch up and make a good recovery in the long run.

Take care xx

wornoutmumoftwo

janninew wrote: »

I have also spoken with the Doctor who carried out my section and he has advised against any further pregnancies - I haven't even told my husband this as I can't bear to think about. My feelings are all over the place and I feel so angry that this has happened to me when I've always taken such good care of myself, especially during pregnancy.

I wouldn't worry about this part too much for now, you just concentrate on yourself and your beautiful daughter.

My first pregnancy resulted in pre-eclampsia and eclampia, had it very bad and unfortunately very early so nothing could be done to save my daughter, but the doctors did save me.

My conultant told me that with pre-eclampsia the next pregnancy would be worst with it, or better with it.

I went on to have a healthy boy, and yes, I got pre-eclampsia again - but better - it appeared at 35 weeks when he stoppe growing and he was induced, a few feedings problems but he's a big strapping lad now (he's 9).

I had another son after and the pre-eclampsia did not show up at all, but I did have to have an emergency section as my womb clamped around him. He was fine too.

Pre-eclampia is a condition that some women get - it is not beacuse of anything you did. There is a support group (charity) that can help if you have any questions: http://www.apec.org.uk/

I'm hoping thi will give you some support, and I wish you and your family all the best.

I'm hoping this will give you some comfort, and I really hope everything goe well for you, but when things settle down, you can ask more specific questions

janninew

Hi again!

Just on a quick break home to clean up and do some washing. I should have explained better what the Doctor meant when he advised against more children. It isn't due to the pre-eclampsia but the location of my c-section scar. He had to cut me quite high and he doesn't think it could stand another pregnancy. I will arrange to speak to him further though in the future and discuss my options. I was only very small in my pregnancy, in fact when I was layed down, you couldn't even see my bump!

I've had a fairly positive morning at the hospital (touch wood) she is having a good day. She has finished her anti-biotics and has gained some weight (only 30 grams but its the right direction!) She also had another go on my breast which was wonderful. My milk seems to have increased today, not sure if its the medication I'm taking or due to Poppy trying to feed, but I've produced twice as much so far today as normal, so fingers crossed it keeps on increasing.

Thanks for all the lovely PM's I've received. I will try and reply to them all, but time is short for me at the moment.

Thanks for all the support on here, it really does mean a lot.

xx