Struggling Now - Prem Baby

kingfisherblue

My baby had his first surgery at 9 hours old, so I know how scary it is when the doctors say that they have to operate on your tiny, precious child. My son was in a different hospital, in a different city, and the reason he was sent there was because they had the expertise to give him the operation and the best care possible afterwards. This is the same for your baby. Is therer any hospital accommodation for parents? Alder Hey has Ronald McDonald House, which is fantastic. Twice when I have stayed there, I have had a room for myself, husband and daughter, and it is only across the way from the hospital, so no travelling. Yes, you will still be tired, but not to the same extent. there is no charge for RMH, (although donations are welcome), but I don't know about accommodation at other hospitals. It is worth contacting them, though, to arrange somewhere for you to stay.

You might also want to contact BLISS for support, as they are available for parents who have premature babies. You could also contact Little Heart Matters, as it is a heart operation that your daughter is having.

I wish you well and hope that your daughter makes a quick and full recovery xx

Dashikii

I have no words of wisdom, but didn't want to read and run.

I'm sure your little one is a fighter and it is ok to feel a bit sh!tty about it all.
I definitely agree that you need to find an outlet by speaking to someone or doing something that may help you breathe a bit.

xxx

tea_lover

Really have nothing useful to add but just wanted to send you a big hug. I can't imagine what you've been going through for the last few months, you must be exhausted. I hope you manage to speak to your husband about how you're feeling, I'm sure he'd want you to be honest with him.

You've earned a good cry/shout/pillow punching session. Sometimes we all just need to let it all out, you can't be strong all the time.

Hugs and best wishes to you and your family, take care x.

*Ro*

Jannine ((big hugs))
You have been so strong for your LO but everyone has their limits. I am sure your oh/family are desperate to help you in anyway so don't be afraid to talk to them, things may get that bit easier they are on your side. If you are very down then your Gp can help too.
I can't imagine being in your situation but you are doing your absolute best and in order to be there for your LO you need help. I am keeping fingers crossed all goes well with op and your LO gets stronger each day.
Re the drs comment about no more pregnancies I am sorry they said that and I think the timing is insensitive but again don't bottle it up your oh loves you so don't be afraid to tell him and as others have said lots if drs have differing opinions.
The previous poster who said about a family room sounded a really good idea. I also wonder whether there are any charities who may be able to help you by linking with others going through the same thing. My local hospital had displays about a charity that provided support for those with premmie babies.
Also don't forget the less than 1 year thread is on here if you want to sound off. I will be joining once LO arrives too.
Tc Ro xx

indebtinsussex

didnt want to read and run, sending you a lot of love and hugs, cant imagine what you are going through xxx

vickynleon

i also cant really offer any advice but just wanted to send my love.
i hope that you will be able to speak to your family. im sure your husband would rather you talk with him than keeping it in and letting it get on top of you.

i had pre-eclampsia with my first baby but not until i was in labour so he was full term but i've found out that im pregnant again and my midwife said pre-eclampsia rarely happens in a second pregnancy only the first so i hope that you can go ahead and have more children, maybe when your little one is well enough to come home and your settled you could speak to a specialist and ask them to explain more in detail.

anyway i hope your little girl gets better soon and you can speak to your family and everything goes well for the future

janninew

flutterby_lil wrote: »

Just wanted to send love and hugs to you and your family. I can imagine it is such a rollercoster and you just want your babe at home in your arms. I bet it is devestating. You sound to be doing such a fantastic job.

Is there a support group that the hospital can put you in touch with to speak to other families in the same situation?

I bet having another baby is the last thing on your mind right now. Is it your first?

All pregnancies are different. Do you know the reason (I know you mentioned pre eclampsia) for the emergency section? Have you been told anything?

My friend had her baby at 23 weeks in July and was not tod not to have anymore children so was just wondering the reason.

Chin up, talk to your family, I am sure they will be there and feel good to help you.

x

Thanks for your post. Yes she is my first child , I'm not thinking about having anymore children at the moment, but being told that he wouldn't advise me to have anymore in the future was very upsetting, I always imagined I would have at least 2 children.

In my pregnancy notes the reason for the early delivery was extreme pre-eclampsia. In was strange because at the time I didn't feel that unwell, but afterwards the Doctors kept telling me I was really poorly and its a good job I delivered when I did.

I've seen my GP this afternoon and he said when I next start thinking about having more children to see him and he would refer me to a Consultant Doctor at the hospital. I had a good cry in the room with him and felt so much better afterwards. I realised that I haven't actually cried since the night I had her in November.

He has prescribed me tablets to hopefully increase my milk supply and he has made me an appointment to see him next Monday for a chat and catch-up. He has said he is worried that I am at high risk of getting postnatal depression and he wants to keep an eye on me.

I left feeling slightly better, so that's got to be a positive thing!

janninew

carolwat wrote: »

Jannine I dont know what area you are from but if its Cumbria id happily help you out a little. I had my boys at 28 wks too and I know just what that rollercoaster is like. I know its all very daunting at the moment but these prem babies are tough cookies. You say the hospital who would operate are 2 hours away, have you asked about a family room there where you could stay whilst she is in their care. We stayed in hospital as we were out of area and it was much much easier than staying at home and being only 10 mins away from the hospital when we came back to the local hospital. It probably sounds like it would be harder but it isnt. As for the time being, you must tell your husband and your family and friends how youre feeling and accept any help offered. People can make up a couple of extra plates of dinner, I found this the most helpful thing as that last thing you feel like doing after being at hospital all day is cooking and with you expressing you need to eat properly. Is your daughter being tube fed? If so she will be on the tiniest amount, she may still even be on TPN. If this is the case how much milk have you got stored and are you freezing it all. I was given little bottles which were frozen in hospital and home and clearly dated. If you have plenty it might be a little easier on you to just let the milk dry up then you havnt got the pressure of expressing aswell. I expressed for about 3 months and had loads stored by the time my milk dried up. I was devastated but the hospital made me realise that with the amounts stored and the amount my son got fed it would last ages and that he had had the most beneficial start with my milk anyway. Just something to consider to reduce the pressure and as she is so small and early she wouldnt be able to breastfeed anyway as she hasnt got the sucking ability nor the strength and energy to breastfeed.

You write down as much as you want, I know it helps just to get it out. Good luck. xxx

Thanks for your post, its always comforting for me to read about others who have been in the same situation as me and gotten through it.

I'm in Lancashire, so not to far from you. You are right about prem babies being tough cookies. Poppy may be tiny, but she has spirit and has just found her voice this week and now the whole unit can hear her complain!

I've been told that the heart op is only a day procedure, so she should hopefully be back at my local hospital the same or next day as her operation. I will enquire about family rooms just in case.

Yes Poppy is tube fed though her nose, she is on 20 ml of my milk every 2 hours, she finished on TPN a few weeks ago. I have been expressing and freezing milk since she was born so we have a large supply, but the nurses ideally want her on fresh milk as it has a higher fat content so I'm trying to keep up with her daily demands. I have had her against my breast and she has a few attempts at sucking, but as you say she is still very small. My husband has told me I should give up expressing if I'm struggling but I just can't do that yet, I really want to try breastfeeding. I will see how I get on with this medication from my GP over the next few weeks.

x

HRV

big hugs op
glad ur feeling a bit better
my twins are now 6 months n were born at 32 weeks- they've had a fairly ok timesince gettin out of hospial but i can honestly say i felt the world was caving in- i was hysterical when they got into scubu- after nicu- as before this i was completely spaced.
the bliss website has a forum so any specific qu the peeps on there were great for me
like u i have been advised to have no more- i was also told i had pre ec. However just last week i had an app with my consultant to talk through the run up to my delivery etc. i found this massively helpful but glad i did it 6 months after the birth- i had to request this via y consultants secretary i wasnt offered it- it was really beneicial n would help u discuss future pregnancies too.
your baby is strong- its amazing what they do- mie are now nearly 5x their birth weight
tell people when u feel sad, lots of them wont understand but it helps to talk
big hugs and all the best for the operation- will be thinking of you x

*Ro*

Just seen your posts jannine really glad you are feeling a bit better and it sounds like you have a lovely Gp
Tc and all the best for Poppy's op
Ro x