I regret getting SS involved now!

balletshoes

WhiteHorse wrote: »

This is the danger. They will use all this as an excuse to take D2 if they can.

They like to take healthy children from reasonable parents but will leave abused children in the hands of psychopaths.

Not in my very close family's case, they don't. I'm quite surprised by this sweeping statement to be honest.

Person_one

WhiteHorse wrote: »

D2 is now your priority. You cannot allow her to be destroyed by D1. It's time for drastic action.

Both her children are equally important.

(Ok, having now read the rest of the thread it seems WhiteHorse is not exactly a sensible and informed poster, but my point is still true so it can stand.)

daska

It's scary, I know it is, every time Children's Services get involved with us I get a sinking feeling as I anticipate the hours of questions and reports and digging but, you know what, my experience of SS is that generally they want to help. It may seem like snooping but... they need to assess all of you and to do that they need to ask questions and then, if those answers raise more questions, they often have to ask more. We're currently in the middle of (yet another) core assessment due to DS2's problems. It is intrusive, of course it is, they need to know that they're getting a full and accurate picture so that they can target services effectively.

But TBH I don't think you're doing yourself or your family any favours either by not going to the GP or by turning down the help that is being suggested or by rejecting the diagnosis. Please believe me, I am not saying that they are correct, just that you won't get anywhere by dismissing their views.

I would suggest accepting their diagnosis of ADHD (pro-tem) and requesting that they try medication because, as a general rule, whether it works or not will dis/prove the diagnosis. What have you got to lose? Either it works and life will improve or is doesn't and they have to investigate other possibilities. It's also possible that there is more than one problem in which case it might be easier to see what else is going on. It's a win-win situation for you so grab it with both hands.

With regards to the course they want you to go on has it occurred to you that there will also be feedback from the person running this, if they can see it obviously isn't the right thing for you then their feedback will (hopefully) help to get you the correct help!

On a practical note, I have a care alarm due to DS2's violence. He may only be 4 but because I'm disabled he's quite capable of doing me severe harm. It might be something to discuss with SS when you next see them. Also, if there are practical measures/equipment that could be used to modify her behaviour or the danger she poses SS can help with that via Occupational Therapy etc. Even if they aren't available free there are funds and charities that you can apply to for financial help.

And please, get yourself down to the GP and start sorting yourself out, your daughters need you to do that for them.

maidincornwall

As regards Ritalin, one medication which is commonly used under that and other brand names to treat ADHD, if this is given to a child and it makes absolutely no difference to their behaviour it is unlikely they have ADHD, another drug may be tried to see if that works. In a child without ADHD it will usually have either no affect at all or make them quite hyper, it used to be called 'trial by ritalin' when kids with suspected ADHD were given ritalin to see if they acutally did have ADHD. Ritalin is not however a magic bullet, it will allow your child to have some control over their behaviour and be able to access education and the help they need, not cure them.