I regret getting SS involved now!

rachbc

the thing I pik up on is that yo ask for support then when profesionals give diagnosis or support you dismiss it unless its what you wnat to hear. as a pp said what you want doesn't exists - somewhere to send DD when she kicks off. Surely a more preferrable outcome would be to manage her behaviour better so she doesn't kick off - this might be with parenting technqiues, it might be with drugs, it might be therapy but you have dismissed these.

I also think you need to get yor own mental health in a better place so you can manage things better - frankly I think not engaging with you gp about it is foolish for you and both of your daughters.

sock-knitter

OP, i have twin boys, both went to special schools, had statements a yotnd received hrc dla, i could not get respite from ss either, even tho my sons wrecked our home, and physically attacked me. we tried the family sessions also, but one son would get aggressive, and run out, so we got nowhere.
the turning point for us was the youth offending team, they were offering a scheme, called DO IT DIFFERENTLY, and they worked with the young boys one night, and parents the following day, i got so much support and help, and now, i am helping the youth offending team in my area to spread the word to other authorities
it will get easier, just hang on in there

Darlyd

sock-knitter wrote: »

OP, i have twin boys, both went to special schools, had statements a yotnd received hrc dla, i could not get respite from ss either, even tho my sons wrecked our home, and physically attacked me. we tried the family sessions also, but one son would get aggressive, and run out, so we got nowhere.
the turning point for us was the youth offending team, they were offering a scheme, called DO IT DIFFERENTLY, and they worked with the young boys one night, and parents the following day, i got so much support and help, and now, i am helping the youth offending team in my area to spread the word to other authorities
it will get easier, just hang on in there

That is where CAF referred us too, DD1 sees someone from there, and I seen someone for me, but the person for me has gone on maternity leave now and they have no one available to support me (we only met 2 times anyway), So she told me to go with what SS have to offer.. the woman or should I say college leaver, just sits there and listens to DD1, nothing has been put in place. (there has been 3 major incidents of her stealing since seeing her).

And what SS have offered, we have already done, parent support group, was brills, I am following it all to a T. The 3 sessions for family support in my opinion will be a complete waste of time. As DD does not co operate, and like I said everything I have been told to do I do it.

But it is not going to help, when she suddenly switches, and turns on us all and our home.

I am also not dismissing any diagnosis of ADHD, it;s just weird how one week he said she thinks she may have it, on the next session we will discuss this further and do some tests, then the next session (the eve of the big meeting with all professionals involved) he said there is nothing mentally wrong with her... (makes me so angry how that cpn nurse sat there in the meeting stating there is no sign of depression, she seen her twice.... ).

Really gets my goat, I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall..

And to me SS are more interested in DD2 than what is wrong with DD1. It's buddy draining, and only people who have experienced this with their children understand. Thank You

WhiteHorse

rachbc wrote: »

I also think you need to get yor own mental health in a better place so you can manage things better - frankly I think not engaging with you gp about it is foolish for you and both of your daughters.

The child was born with a serious problem, is destroying the entire family, and all you can do is suggest that the mother is crazy and selfish?

Sheesh.

Darlyd

WhiteHorse wrote: »

The child was born with a serious problem, is destroying the entire family, and all you can do is suggest that the mother is crazy and selfish?

Sheesh.

Think she means I need to get some support for myself from the GP. Which I want to do, but terrified what with SS gathering their information.

WhiteHorse

darlyd wrote: »

And to me SS are more interested in DD2 than what is wrong with DD1.

This is the danger. They will use all this as an excuse to take D2 if they can.

They like to take healthy children from reasonable parents but will leave abused children in the hands of psychopaths.

gingin_2

WhiteHorse wrote: »

The child was born with a serious problem, is destroying the entire family, and all you can do is suggest that the mother is crazy and selfish?

Sheesh.

I must have missed that. Where has Rachbc said that Darlyd is crazy and selfish?

*max*

WhiteHorse wrote: »

This is the danger. They will use all this as an excuse to take D2 if they can.

They like to take healthy children from reasonable parents but will leave abused children in the hands of psychopaths.

You obviously have your own issues/experience with Social Services, but making grossly inaccurate sweeping statements like this will only scare the OP unnecessarily.

Elle7

In my experience, they will not take away DD2 - I was one of the non-violent children, and they wouldn't take us anywhere, even when we begged. It didn't matter what happened...my mum disappearing for days on end, my sister attacking me with a knife and threatening to cut our throats...SS threatened, mainly to get my parents to do what they wanted them too, but would never take us.

Group sessions didn't work, and there is no respite in the way that you want it - no one will come and calm her down. We did get offered someone to be a friend to my sister, and take her places, but they are volunteers and will leave at the first sign of anger or violence. You have to try and group work sessions, and push for a diagnosis because trying medications on the random chance that they will work might be the best way to calm her at the moment.

Regardless, they won't take DD2. I'd bet my life on it.

rachbc

WhiteHorse wrote: »

The child was born with a serious problem, is destroying the entire family, and all you can do is suggest that the mother is crazy and selfish?

Sheesh.

Nope - I'm saying the mother has a serious mental health condition of her own and needs to do everything in her power to keep herself as well as possible for both of her daughter's sake. Not telling her GP she has Bi-polar (though I woudl think it would be in notes) means she might not get the best support to in turn help her daughter.

Sheesh