Tesco Discussion Chats & Grabbits 11+

almond

mrs-moneypenny wrote: »

that really does sadden me, i was hoping things could be resolved but i can understand why you have felt the need to post this message, HC has really not helped his cause with that comment:(, still dont understand why the ban was put in place but that comment sadly wont help change things. i do wish given his condition he had asked for help with the emails to the mse team and not worded them so 'bluntly'

Again same here but when i asked for help on vent thread back in september because of the abuse and attack i was receiving which reduced me to tears, (the girls on here helped me) i must have sent 10 emails to mods asking for help and are still waiting replies.
i ended up hitting the spam button to get somebody to look and have to say the lady that got involved was lovely and even had to defend herself on the thread. I don't know what went on last night so can't comment, but seems a bit silly if it was swearing.
The ones that were picking on me are still allowed to post and carry on making fun of people, from what i understand that section is a closed shop.
Regarding swearing not sure what to say but we seem to accept omg , but yet I am a catholic and remember my 10 commandents
you shall not take the lord or god in vain, but yet we accept that but if i asked the mods to remove threads with that is i would be laughed at , if you understand were i am coming from !
sorry to go on and not make much sense but they is one rule for one and one for another.
I have a friend whos son has the same condition and i have only discovered lately what it like, so why can't we give him some slack

nahteb20

mrs-moneypenny wrote: »

i agree its sad that when people are hurting they do sometimes lash out and say or do things to hurt other people, perhaps if hed had a chance to talk things through or take 5 to think about it he wouldnt have used quite that wording.
im really sad this is the path that is now being taken.

HC we are all your friends

I think it was a knee-jurk reaction from someone who feels very hurt, It shouldnt have been sent but i know i am guilty of feeling these sort of feelings myself when i have been hurt, but again i dont have aspergers sp? and although i totally feel this way i wouldnt reply in that way but HC does. we all know him to be a lovable gently giant at heart xx

Miss you HappyChappy xx

Gemini_Jes

kadison wrote: »

I'm not sure it was appropriate to post that to be honest but you have to understand I think, that he spent a LOT of time on this forum and gave a lot to it in regards strategies for finding bargains and also support to other members in times of trouble.

In this instance he must feel incredibly hurt by what's happened, I don't know if Aspergers affects his reactions to things like this but nevertheless, it shouldn't be underestimated how upset he must be. In the cold light of day I hope HC will rethink and contact you again, I think it's also worth looking into whether he received the warning e-mails. If he didn't then this is all a huge shock and when we are shocked we lash out.

I agree with all you have said....especially the bit about looking into whether HC received the warnings....when HC was posting jokes and he received a warning then he stopped posting them straight away so I do think that if he had received the warning e mails then he would have altered his language. He has always been considerate to other people's feelings.

Former_MSE_Forum_Manager

rchddap1 wrote: »

Trouble is that will extend in the other direction as well. The Mods will wish that we can see what they do. Often being a Mod is a very unforgiving job for which you can do nothing right. Isn't about who a Mod likes or dislikes....is about the guidelines that they have to follow and the well being of the site as a whole.

For this reason I will simply say that I hope that the relevant parties can work things out. After taking a deep breath.

That's appreciated, thank you.

We genuinely have no reason, nor desire, to stop people posting on here. We want everyone to get on and get the full use of our forum. It serves no purpose to us, and is counter productive to what we are trying to achieve, to close accounts.

However, we do have to enforce our rules and guidelines to ensure this is a friendly family forum, and a huge amount of resource and time goes on behind the scenes with each and every case to try and make this happen. If we ever have to stop an account, it's because we've reached the point of no other option.

In this case, all we really wanted was for the user to acknowledge that bad language has no place on this forum and agree to eradicate this from their posts. Instead we received the email I posted earlier.

I've spent several hours in the last 24 reading a lot of this thread and hopefully posting to aid clarification and aid understanding. When we receive the email we did, I wonder why we bother. It could have been so simple to solve and we all would have ended up with the result we wanted.

geemi

come back happychappy we miss you.

geemi

MSE_Forum_Manager wrote: »

That's appreciated, thank you.

We genuinely have no reason, nor desire, to stop people posting on here. We want everyone to get on and get the full use of our forum. It serves no purpose to us, and is counter productive to what we are trying to achieve, to close accounts.

However, we do have to enforce our rules and guidelines to ensure this is a friendly family forum, and a huge amount of resource and time goes on behind the scenes with each and every case to try and make this happen. If we ever have to stop an account, it's because we've reached the point of no other option.

In this case, all we really wanted was for the user to acknowledge that bad language has no place on this forum and agree to eradicate this from their posts. Instead we received the email I posted earlier.

I've spent several hours in the last 24 reading a lot of this thread and hopefully posting to aid clarification and aid understanding. When we receive the email we did, I wonder why we bother. It could have been so simple to solve and we all would have ended up with the result we wanted.

Can I just ask why he wasn't given a suspension or a short term ban from posting, before a lifetime ban.

fourp

MSE_Forum_Manager wrote: »

That's appreciated, thank you.

We genuinely have no reason, nor desire, to stop people posting on here. We want everyone to get on and get the full use of our forum. It serves no purpose to us, and is counter productive to what we are trying to achieve, to close accounts.

However, we do have to enforce our rules and guidelines to ensure this is a friendly family forum, and a huge amount of resource and time goes on behind the scenes with each and every case to try and make this happen. If we ever have to stop an account, it's because we've reached the point of no other option.

In this case, all we really wanted was for the user to acknowledge that bad language has no place on this forum and agree to eradicate this from their posts. Instead we received the email I posted earlier.

I've spent several hours in the last 24 reading a lot of this thread and hopefully posting to aid clarification and aid understanding. When we receive the email we did, I wonder why we bother. It could have been so simple to solve and we all would have ended up with the result we wanted.

fair enough I reckon , if HC has no desire to return then that's his wish ...and what was the score at the 5 a side eh FM ?
I can remember playing 5 a side when I was a young working man (Inland Revenue) ...it was such hard work the insides of my ears used to sweat ...our motto was ' hammered on the pitch , hammered down the pub' .

toni_

logged on to see if HC is about yet but doesn't look good that wasn't the nicest e-mail he sent but im sure it was just because he was frustrated and angry, i can imagine this forum and the people on here where a big part of his life

ive just been reading up on aspergers syndrome as i was unaware what it meant, for anyone interested;

People with Asperger syndrome sometimes find it difficult to express themselves emotionally and socially. For example, they may:

• have difficulty understanding gestures, facial expressions or tone of voice
• have difficulty knowing when to start or end a conversation and choosing topics to talk about
• use complex words and phrases but may not fully understand what they mean
• be very literal in what they say and can have difficulty understanding jokes, metaphor and sarcasm. For example, a person with Asperger syndrome may be confused by the phrase 'That's cool' when people use it to say something is good.
• struggle to make and maintain friendships
• not understand the unwritten 'social rules' that most of us pick up without thinking. For example, they may stand too close to another person, or start an inappropriate topic of conversation
• find other people unpredictable and confusing
• become withdrawn and seem uninterested in other people, appearing almost aloof
• behave in what may seem an inappropriate manner.

caz2703

almond wrote: »

Again same here but when i asked for help on vent thread back in september because of the abuse and attack i was receiving which reduced me to tears, (the girls on here helped me) i must have sent 10 emails to mods asking for help and are still waiting replies.
i ended up hitting the spam button to get somebody to look and have to say the lady that got involved was lovely and even had to defend herself on the thread. I don't know what went on last night so can't comment, but seems a bit silly if it was swearing.
The ones that were picking on me are still allowed to post and carry on making fun of people, from what i understand that section is a closed shop.
Regarding swearing not sure what to say but we seem to accept omg , but yet I am a catholic and remember my 10 commandents
you shall not take the lord or god in vain, but yet we accept that but if i asked the mods to remove threads with that is i would be laughed at , if you understand were i am coming from !
sorry to go on and not make much sense but they is one rule for one and one for another.
I have a friend whos son has the same condition and i have only discovered lately what it like, so why can't we give him some slack

You had a different user name back then but I remember it well. The abuse you took would have had me closing my own account. There are quite a few trolls on here who enjoy nothing more than winding people up yet because they are long standing members they seem to get away with it. I think it's probably because they don't swear or do anything which breaks any rules but they know how to get a rise out of someone. Hard to ban people for that, much easier to ban for swearing.

I work in IT and in previous job had to be the bad guy. Long story short, one such incident resulted in a lovely girl being sacked but unfortunately she was doing stuff that was illegal so the company had no choice. A few weeks later I walked into work to find everyone either crying or in stunned silence. It transpired that the girl in question had been killed in a car accident. I have never forgiven myself for that but I did what I had to do as it could have been my job on the line

The job of anyone in authority is a hard one and I guess what I'm trying to say is that the mods & board guides all have a job to do. Whether we like their decisions is another matter but this forum isn't about just one thread or one user. Yes HC has a condition which has exacerbated this issue but a line has to be drawn somewhere.

I hope do HC will reconsider and the mods will cut a little bit of slack. All that's needed is an apology. It's not face to face, no-one really knows who you are HC (except a few of us), so for the sake of a few days embarrassment at 'backing down' please think long & hard about your final decision.

APennysaved_2

Good morning everybody. Not entering into a discussion about yesterday's events, but just wanted to say that I can see both parties' point of view in this matter. While HC's posts have never particularly offended me, the forum team does have to adhere to rules. I also understand why Happy might feel very upset by all this and react impulsively/ use blunt wording, but as many others, think that some consideration needs to be given to his particular circumstances and whether he actually did receive the warnings.
Maybe a time limit on the ban could be considered?

Anyway, HC, hundreds (if not thousands) of folk miss you on here, take some time to reconsider and haste ye back!;)