When does extended breastfeeding become weird....

meritaten

Lotus-eater wrote: »

It occured to me when my kids were born. Nature can intend whatever she wants, it what you do with them that matters.

Now they're back as mine. :rotfl: and if I like to think like that, then you are going to have to get used to that too. Or put me on ignore.

Besides isn't it up to me and my OH how I think about them?

it is definately up to you and your OH Lotus-eater. But, I reserve the right to THINK that you are a MCP

Lotus-eater

meritaten wrote: »

it is definately up to you and your OH Lotus-eater. But, I reserve the right to THINK that you are a MCP

Oh, I know I am

poet123

shirlgirl2004 wrote: »

The question is regarding extended breast feeding I don't know of any mothers that give 2 or 3 year olds follow on milk.

The child in the OP wasn't 2 or 3, but 14 months old. Your comment was intended to disparage those who don't breastfeed for whatever reason, at least that is how it came across. Why should breastfeeding be the norm for everybody? There is such a thing as personal choice.

meritaten

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Oh, I know I am

then we both agree.

ziggy2004

Gillyx wrote: »

A lot of women have problems breastfeeding for whatever reason, milk not coming in etc, why should they be made to feel like they are crazy for feeding their children the breast milk of another animal? It is all down to individual choice or not choice for some people and they shouldn't be made to feel abnormal by the breast feeding brigade, but they are.

I'm pro breast feeding btw, but I find the way it's forced down peoples throats (no pun intended) distasteful at times.

Formula is a solution ( and a great one as it means that if someone cannot breastfeed they do not have to worry about how to feed their baby)

However it has become the norm which is quite sad really. Not because those who choose to use formula are doing the wrong thing but because it is biologically not what we are designed to do.

Imagine that you have the choice between artificial food made in a lab with all the nutrients of a roast dinner or you can have a real roast dinner. Two plates in front of you which one are you going to choose?

Obviously with breastfeeding it is usually not a straight forward choice but everything negative that is said about breastfeeding undermines women and their ability to choose whilst in possession of all facts.

How often do you hear someone say things like:

* It is just as good as breastmilk
* My health professional told me I did not have enough milk
* It really hurt

etc etc.

In the vast majority of cases this can be overcome with a bit of help ( I have needed help with 2/3 children). The thing is if formula is seen as the norm then why would you put in extra effort into breast feeding? Yet then you still get mummy guilt and woman who feel they have failed . Everyone loses .

shirlgirl2004

poet123 wrote: »

The child in the OP wasn't 2 or 3, but 14 months old. Your comment was intended to disparage those who don't breastfeed for whatever reason, at least that is how it came across. Why should breastfeeding be the norm for everybody? There is such a thing as personal choice.

If reading it out of context I can see how it might seem like that but within the context of the thread I'm not sure how that could be so. Typically starting at around the children's age of 2 mothers can be found complaining about fussy eaters so it clearly wasn't going to be aimed at 6 month old babies. I am confused how it could have been misunderstood.

It should be the norm because that is what nature intends and it is best for both baby and mother if it can be achieved. I would never suggest for one minute that mothers that bottle feed should be castigated but neither should mothers that continue to breastfeed past 6 months or a year. This thread is about the attitudes to mothers that breast feed for an extended period the attitudes of the many that feel it is abnormal stem from the fact that bottlefeeding is now the norm in this country. It is for the benefit of children and mothers that breastfeeding should become the norm and this is what research shows not my personal opinion. However if parents make an informed choice not to breastfeed then no-one has the right to disagree with that.

mumps

I fed two of mine for six months, one for eight months and one for three years. I have breastfed in many places and never had an adverse comment, mainly because I was discrete and I don't think anyone ever noticed. Once child was able to eat finger food and use a cup I didn't breastfeed in public as I didn't think it was necessary. I have never fed with a bottle, mine all went from breast to cup without a bottle feeding stage mainly as I am phobic about people drinking from bottles so I don't think I could ever have bottle fed.

Lotus-eater

meritaten wrote: »

then we both agree.

I've just asked my OH and she's said that I'm not a male chauvinist apparently.

But then she rattled off a whole list of things I am, moaning about this and that, so I locked her back in the cage.



Mind you the amount of female chauvinists round here is amazing.

Welshwoofs

Am I the only one who read this thread and thought of Little Britain?

Bitty!

Gillyx

ziggy2004 wrote: »

In the vast majority of cases this can be overcome with a bit of help ( I have needed help with 2/3 children). The thing is if formula is seen as the norm then why would you put in extra effort into breast feeding? Yet then you still get mummy guilt and woman who feel they have failed . Everyone loses .

Women get this guilt because people bang on and on about breast feeding being better. Yes it probably is, but for people who cannot for whatever reason how does that make them feel?

There was a thread recently where a new mother just could not come to peace with the fact her premature son was lacking the ability to latch on, and was blaming herself and feeling a "failure" and that she couldn't give her son the best start in life, despite the fact she was trying so hard. She knew breast was best and that's what was causing the guilt.

It all comes down to choice, if people don't want to breast feed or can't they shouldn't be made to feel inadequate or looked down upon, as it is their body, their child, their choice.

I really hope to breast feed my son when he's born, but I've come to terms with the fact it doesn't happen instantly for everyone and if I had to resort to formula I know how crap it would make me feel, and people thinking I was "crazy" for doing it would only reinforce that point even further.

I'm not sure about the norm, as out of my 2 friends who have given birth recently one has bottle fed, one has breast fed. The one who breast fed had to give it up for the best part as she was back at work and university when her baby was 12 weeks old, she just didn't have the time to express, so her milk dried up for most feeds, she has continued with the feed before bed though.

Whether it's norm or not, it comes down to choice for most mothers and I don't think the draconian attitude and sheer pressure put on by some midwives helps the situation at all.