When does extended breastfeeding become weird....

poet123

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Yes I read that. I do not happen to agree with her but I still do not equate this as her saying that bottlefeeding makes for a 'bad' mother etc.

She also said that she couldn't understand why a mother would not want to do "the best" for her baby. You don't have to read into that to see what she is meaning.

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

No I am not into reading 'into' posts I prefer to take a post at face value and only interpret the actual words in front of me.

I am sorry Poppy, but you do actually, you commented that I was taking this thread personally, you read into my posts my reasoning, when actually it was because of the other thread. Everyone reads into posts, and in your next sentence you use the word "interpret" which means much the same.

lostinrates

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

So are you saying that the fact that some children are breastfed beyond the 'norm' should be looked into?

No, I'm not. I can't recall the actual wording of your post but you said something like 'if they are happy and healthy what does it matter what people do ' which I do agree with. However, what some people see as happy and healthy is not universal, and we all make our own judgements on situations. Some would feel corporal punishment is never healthy, some would feel not breast feeding by choice is not right, some would feel prolonged breast feeding is not right. I honestly do not know how I feel about the latter and what my cut of age for normal is, though I have thought more about it from this thread.....

That said perhaps in some circumstances it should be looked into, I dunno. That's rather the point of discussing it, thinking about it, understanding different sides of the situation!

toomanyshoesfortwofeet

lostinrates wrote: »

That said perhaps in some circumstances it should be looked into, I dunno. That's rather the point of discussing it, thinking about it, understanding different sides of the situation!

I haven't waded through this entire thread, so please don't take offence if you have posted on this elsewhere, when you say 'looked into' do you mean discussed in an open debate like this or do you mean 'looked into' - as in a 'cause for concern and a visit from ss?

lostinrates

toomanyshoesfortwofeet wrote: »

I haven't waded through this entire thread, so please don't take offence if you have posted on this elsewhere, when you say 'looked into' do you mean discussed in an open debate like this or do you mean 'looked into' - as in a 'cause for concern and a visit from ss?

No offence taken, and none meant either.

Tbh, don't really know....I think I would worry about a teenager still breast feeding. I would imagine, at the very least, it would give rise to any other situation that might be running concurrently. I appreciate that might be offensive to some whose teenagers or near teenagers still breast feed.

toomanyshoesfortwofeet

lostinrates wrote: »

No offence taken, and none meant either.

Tbh, don't really know....I think I would worry about a teenager still breast feeding. I would imagine, at the very least, it would give rise to any other situation that might be running concurrently. I appreciate that might be offensive to some whose teenagers or near teenagers still breast feed.

I'm think I'm right in saying most children wean at their own pace at 5-6 and those that don't must wean a few years later at 8-9 because they lose the sucking reflex. I can't imagine that many children, given the stigma around extended breastfeeding, would carry on past school age.

I think it is sad that extended breastfeeding is seen as a sign post for 'other situations that might run concurrently'. (Here, I appreciate you are talking about pre-teens - so I'm sorry if I'm stretching your point) But I don't think that you are alone in thinking this and to be honest quite a lot of posts only tip-toe around this point. At the crux of it, some of this discussion is around, do we trust women to be naked and close with their children without causing damage? It would probably help the discussion if we could even bring ourselves to say it.

lostinrates

toomanyshoesfortwofeet wrote: »

I'm think I'm right in saying most children wean at their own pace at 5-6 and those that don't must wean a few years later at 8-9 because they lose the sucking reflex. I can't imagine that many children, given the stigma around extended breastfeeding, would carry on past school age.

I think it is sad that extended breastfeeding is seen as a sign post for 'other situations that might run concurrently'. (Here, I appreciate you are talking about pre-teens - so I'm sorry if I'm stretching your point) But I don't think that you are alone in thinking this and to be honest quite a lot of posts only tip-toe around this point. At the crux of it, some of this discussion is around, do we trust women to be naked and close with their children without causing damage? It would probably help the discussion if we could even bring ourselves to say it.

Ok, this is getting closer to what asked in the OP when would you feel was a cut off point, if a chiled had not for some reason self weaned at after eight or nine?

You Are stretching my point, but that is ok. Fwiw, I am not at all concerned with nudity, and practise that often.....But you then sort of compound my point that children might mpbe impacted by a stigma......I wonder how often that happens, and how that might impact on a child. I do find it uncomfortable that someone might talk about a teen or preteen Brest feeding and be considered as if anti breast feeding. Fwiw I am childless, but if had one would have wanted to bf throughout baby hood and don 't know when I would have said no more or whether ipthat was before a child might.

toomanyshoesfortwofeet

lostinrates wrote: »

Ok, this is getting closer to what asked in the OP when would you feel was a cut off point, if a chiled had not for some reason self weaned at after eight or nine?

You Are stretching my point, but that is ok. Fwiw, I am not at all concerned with nudity, and practise that often.....But you then sort of compound my point that children might mpbe impacted by a stigma......I wonder how often that happens, and how that might impact on a child.

Hmmm, well now I'm not sure. The inner hippy screams well it's never weird, because it's a self limiting activity and, on principal, 8 or 9 shouldn't be weird.

But when we talk about stigma I'm more moderate. It's sad but true that here extended breastfeeding is made weird by the society that deems it so. Given that the first real exposure to peer pressure and society starts at school - I imagine 4-5 would be my weird cut off point - not that it would be weird for me.

I think it's unforgivable to set your kids up for playground grief - so I personally will stop shy of here, should ds2 continue that far anyway.

Just also wanted to add (not to lostinrates, but just in general) I'm not a hippy. Felt I needed to add this because, even I have trouble imagining an extended bf'er without frizzy hair, a flowing skirt and a 'grow your own cleaning products' vibe.

melb

but if your 5 year old, whom you were still breastfeeding, wanted to do so when he had a friend round for tea or was having classmates round for a birthday party at home, would you allow him to?

toomanyshoesfortwofeet

melb wrote: »

but if your 5 year old, whom you were still breastfeeding, wanted to do so when he had a friend round for tea or was having classmates round for a birthday party at home, would you allow him to?

No. As I said, I would wean my son before school - if he has not done so already. I will wean him before school because although I don't believe it is weird I don't want some snotty jumped-up kid giving him grief because he thinks it is, or particularly - because someone told him it was.

splishsplash

I know the WHO advocates exclusive breastfeeding for six months, and to be included as part of baby's diet for two years, but I'm unclear where the evidence lies for any added benefits from six months on? Would anyone have links to anything that might inform me?

I think breastfeeding becomes 'weird' when the child has moved on from the dependent stage of babyhood to where we naturally begin to encourage independence instead, so maybe 3 years old? It seems counter-intuitive to breastfeed at this stage of development. A bit like making sure your child crawls for a while every day even though it runs and jumps quite happily the rest of the time.