When does extended breastfeeding become weird....

Ada_Doom

ok, have not read whole thread cos life is to short,no? But honestly, feed that child as long as you feel comfortable doing so and tell everyone else to take a running jump. Love it and feel no guilt whatever you choose to do.

meritaten

poet123 wrote: »

That is not my experience (which was why I asked) when a bottle feed was no longer needed for nutrition I stopped using formula and switched to ordinary milk, as it was not food they needed.

When I said "argument" I didn't mean literally I meant that if they were now getting a balanced diet, that calcium requirement would be met elsewhere. So, effectively, those who continue to breastfeed and bottle feed alongside other nutrition are feeding twice? That is surely the way to obesity.

I have to say that I think that does fall under heading of comfort feeding and not something I have ever seen the need to do. I really don't think that is prevalent amongst bottle feeders, but I stand to be corrected.

comfort feeding is not usually done by bottle feeding (tho there are exeptions) so you are right there. That is because breast fed babies actually do FEEL comforted by being at the breast. its not ALWAYS nutrition they want - its the feeling of love and comfort and safety they get. and the wise breastfeeding/bottlefeeding mother understands that. and provides it.
A baby does need comfort and some get it through breast feeding and some get dummies. some get parents who see feeding as putting nutrition into their children and dont understand why babies have this sucking instinct for comfort and deny thier babies this basic need. as in ' I hate dummies and would never allow my baby to have one'.
My DD was only fed for a short time by myself - but after that she loved her dummies!
DS1 was bf for as long as he wanted - and never had a dummy
DS2 was bf for six months and rejected both bottles and dummies - I had to give him his milk in a sippy cup! and in fact weaned him early as I strongly suspected he was allergic to cows milk - which he was proved to be years later!

poet123

meritaten wrote: »

comfort feeding is not usually done by bottle feeding (tho there are exeptions) so you are right there. That is because breast fed babies actually do FEEL comforted by being at the breast. its not ALWAYS nutrition they want - its the feeling of love and comfort and safety they get. and the wise breastfeeding/bottlefeeding mother understands that. and provides it.
A baby does need comfort and some get it through breast feeding and some get dummies. some get parents who see feeding as putting nutrition into their children and dont understand why babies have this sucking instinct for comfort and deny thier babies this basic need. as in ' I hate dummies and would never allow my baby to have one'.
My DD was only fed for a short time by myself - but after that she loved her dummies!
DS1 was bf for as long as he wanted - and never had a dummy
DS2 was bf for six months and rejected both bottles and dummies - I had to give him his milk in a sippy cup! and in fact weaned him early as I strongly suspected he was allergic to cows milk - which he was proved to be years later!

No one is suggesting babies don't get comfort from sucking, and no one is suggesting they are denied it. Nor is it the preserve of those who breastfeed to give comfort to their child whilst feeding, that comes from the sucking reflex and the proximity of their mother, not the breast per se. I referred to the comfort feeding (or unnecessary feeding if you prefer) of older children not babies, the level of comfort derived from feeding a baby is the same regardless of method of delivery.

We are talking about extended breast/bottle feeding such as that of a toddler. Not really sure how your comments fit in with that discussion. If a toddler of that age needs comfort there are other more sustainable ways of providing it.

QuackQuackOops

I think breast feeding becomes "weird" when the child can lift up Mums clothing and ask for it.

meritaten

poet123 wrote: »

No one is suggesting babies don't get comfort from sucking, and no one is suggesting they are denied it. Nor is it the preserve of those who breastfeed to give comfort to their child whilst feeding, that comes from the sucking reflex and the proximity of their mother, not the breast per se. I referred to the comfort feeding (or unnecessary feeding if you prefer) of older children not babies, the level of comfort derived from feeding a baby is the same regardless of method of delivery.

We are talking about extended breast/bottle feeding such as that of a toddler. Not really sure how your comments fit in with that discussion. If a toddler of that age needs comfort there are other more sustainable ways of providing it.

I know what the thread is about poet - been here from the beginning.
comfort feeding is NOT unnecessary feeding! unless you feel that feeding whether breast or bottle is just to provide nutrition! and if you think that the level of comfort derived from a bottle is the same as breast - just ask your oh whether he prefers to caress a breast or a bottle of coke!

poet123

meritaten wrote: »

I know what the thread is about poet - been here from the beginning.
comfort feeding is NOT unnecessary feeding! unless you feel that feeding whether breast or bottle is just to provide nutrition! and if you think that the level of comfort derived from a bottle is the same as breast - just ask your oh whether he prefers to caress a breast or a bottle of coke!

If a child is getting the required nutrition from other sources as they should be by the age of 12 months plus, then comfort feeding is not necessary. If you have to feed to comfort your child you are doing something wrong. At what age then do you start to do things differently? Prior to that the child is feeding and taking comfort fro that feed by bottle or breast.

I find your analogy inappropriate to be honest, the reasons behind feeding a child and how you give it comfort during that process are entirely separate from the other function of the breast. Therefore holding a child closely as you feed gives the same level of comfort regardless of method. I feel quite sorry if you cant see that the bond between mother and child is not breast dependent.

thatgirlsam

meritaten wrote: »

I know what the thread is about poet - been here from the beginning.
comfort feeding is NOT unnecessary feeding! unless you feel that feeding whether breast or bottle is just to provide nutrition! and if you think that the level of comfort derived from a bottle is the same as breast - just ask your oh whether he prefers to caress a breast or a bottle of coke!

I don't see that there is a way to judge this, this is really just opinion and not fact

POPPYOSCAR

What does all this matter? If it works for the family who is anyone to say it is wrong?

As long as they are happy and well adjusted let them get on with it.

I think more children are obese through chicken nuggets,chips and crisps than by being breast fed as toddlers.

poet123

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

What does all this matter? If it works for the family who is anyone to say it is wrong?

As long as they are happy and well adjusted let them get on with it.

I think more children are obese through chicken nuggets,chips and crisps than by being breast fed as toddlers.

It is just a subject for discussion, it doesn't matter, everyone should do what suits them. The issue is whether the reasons given for doing it are the real reasons or if there are other factors in play. As I said, my friend would happily admit she fed for as long as she did for herself not necessarily to meet her child's needs, which were being met nutritionally by regular food. She was very honest about it.

thatgirlsam

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

What does all this matter? If it works for the family who is anyone to say it is wrong?

As long as they are happy and well adjusted let them get on with it.

I think more children are obese through chicken nuggets,chips and crisps than by being breast fed as toddlers.

I would thank that twice if I could!

I'm puzzled why other people are so concerned and keen to pipe up and voice opinion concerning the way women feed their babies!

Honestly, I'm sure there are aspects of their own parenting that I would criticise if I felt like it but it is none of my business!!

A new mum is a very vulnerable women, heck not even a new mum, all mums are quite vulnerable.. all that responsibilty etc!

When I hear other women criticising and trying to put their own opinions as more important it makes me really sad

Frankly, its time to butt out and get on with raising your own children in the way you best see fit