When does extended breastfeeding become weird....

poet123

kafkathecat wrote: »

Breastfeeding should not be a lifestyle choice; it is what nature intended for mother and baby. This is what I was trying to explain earlier. As a society we have decided that it is an equivalent choice and people are making their decisions in this social context. It is society which is wrong though not individual mothers. If we were not at this point where sometimes two generations may not have breastfed we would find bottle feeding crazy. It is not illiberal to advocate doing what is best for babies. Mothers now rarely drink or smoke whilst pregnant but they did when I was young and, that too, was a choice. I do not judge anyone for the choices they make with the information available to them but to argue that breastfeeding is just a lifestyle choice may lead many women down a path they later regret. If you try to breastfeed and it doesn't work the bottle is always there. If you do it the other way around your milk will dry up and there is no going back.

Why should it not be a lifestyle choice? or, less emotively and more accurately, simply personal choice? Bottle feeding is a perfectly acceptable method of feeding a baby.

The long term benefits of breast feeding are far from proven and your iinference in a later post here;'"We' didn't know smoking was bad for us either. I will leave you to wait for the evidence in blissful ignorance."
that bottle feeding is on a par with smoking and drinking is grossly offensive and incorrect.

What long tern effects of bottle feeding do you expect to be uncovered that would warranted that comparision?

Why would you assume those who choose to bottle feed would later regret it? Did you regret your choice to breastfeed?

Society has given us the choice, and choice is never wrong provided the choices available are not harmful, and in this case they are not.

blabberwort

FatVonD wrote: »

A naked body would be perfectly acceptable on a nudist beach.

There are clubs where it is appropriate for people have sex openly.

People eat in cafes, why not babies? If you don't want to see it then that is your problem, not theirs.

Yes there are places where it is acceptable for the above, however thats surely the point. They are specific places and so my argument still stands about it not being deemed appropriate in everyday surroundings e.g walking down the street. These are alternatives, compromises if you like for people who choose to do something which not everyone wants to see during theyre day to day life.

Seriously.... why do you insist on taking my posts and adding the word babies when you reply? I have not mentioned babies not being fed in a cafe/public place. All I can assume is that you are still trying to make people think that is what I am talking about.

Do I really need to write a paragraph and c/p each time I post stating that im talking toddlers/older children just to stop your ridiculous games about trying to make it seem im discussing babies being bf?

FatVonD wrote: »

And it is perfectly appropriate to !!!! in the toilets, You are surely not trying to say that feeding a baby is on a par with changing a nappy?

You must know some incredible babies if they can !!!! in the toilet. If not then yes my scenario is still appropriate. A baby cannot !!!! in the toilet so it is natural to have a nappy, in which case toilets actually dont come into this scenario. That does not mean that because it's natural for a baby to have a nappy a mother would change a baby on a table in a cafe does it.

FatVonD wrote: »

Says who? BF is way more convenient than bottle feeding, why should BFing mothers inconvenience themselves for your benefit?

Well considering the majority of peoples reasons are for the most part bf a toddler/older child is for the nutritional value, then why should the inconvenience be an issue. After all this apparently isnt the reason they continue to bf rather than have their child using a cup.

janninew

meher wrote: »

Whilst breastmilk is good for babies, we don't know what's detrimental about formula feeding to compare, contrast and establish that breastfeeding is best. Therefore to impose what's best for someone elses baby is not only illiberal but also gross abuse.

Just had to pick up on your post saying 'we don't know what's detrimental about formula feeding to compare..' Does it worry parents that we don't know, surely we should know if feeding formula can be detrimental to a baby seeing as its a very important stage of their lives and its their only source of nourishment for many months?

As the mum of a prem baby, I breastfeed (well express). I was always going to breastfeed but when she came at 28 weeks the Doctors told me she wouldn't tolerate formula and could only be given breastmilk. If a Mum can't or doesn't want to express, donor milk is given. I was very surprised when the Doctor told me that my body will produce a different kind of milk than if I went to full term, I think the body is an amazing thing!

On the subject of the debate, I actually don't give a flying figg if a Mum breastfeeds or bottle feeds, I wouldn't waste time thinking about it. My child's health is the only important thing to do me at the moment, and I'm following Doctors orders to do what I can to get my baby well and strong again.

I will say though that all Mums in the hospital SCBU where my daughter is are supported in their choices. I've had help trying to establish breastfeeding, I've also seen the Nurses help new Mums making formula, showing how to sterilise and what kind of teat works best.

FatVonD

blabberwort wrote: »

Yes there are places where it is acceptable for the above, however thats surely the point. They are specific places and so my argument still stands about it not being deemed appropriate in everyday surroundings e.g walking down the street. These are alternatives, compromises if you like for people who choose to do something which not everyone wants to see during theyre day to day life.

I understood your point and a dinner table is an appropriate place to be feeding, surely? For what it's worth a toddler would be eating solids along with the rest of the family so it's highly unlikely they would be being breast fed in a restaurant anyway.

blabberwort wrote: »

Seriously.... why do you insist on taking my posts and adding the word babies when you reply? I have not mentioned babies not being fed in a cafe/public place. All I can assume is that you are still trying to make people think that is what I am talking about.

Do I really need to write a paragraph and c/p each time I post stating that im talking toddlers/older children just to stop your ridiculous games about trying to make it seem im discussing babies being bf?

I'm sorry but you are flattering yourself if you think I am spending any time at all trying to twist your posts, I am posting from work and any inattention to detail is due to my posts being hurried!

blabberwort wrote: »

You must know some incredible babies if they can !!!! in the toilet. If not then yes my scenario is still appropriate. A baby cannot !!!! in the toilet so it is natural to have a nappy, in which case toilets actually dont come into this scenario. That does not mean that because it's natural for a baby to have a nappy a mother would change a baby on a table in a cafe does it.

I think you've either missed the point or completely lost the plot. It would be wholly appropriate to change a nappy in a toilet because other people !!!! in there, however it it also wholly appropriate for a baby/toddler to be fed where other people are feeding.

blabberwort wrote: »

Well considering the majority of peoples reasons are for the most part bf a toddler/older child is for the nutritional value, then why should the inconvenience be an issue. After all this apparently isnt the reason they continue to bf rather than have their child using a cup.

Of course inconvenience is an issue, breast feeding is chosen for many reasons, because the mother believes it to be healthier, because it is more natural and it also incredibly convenient. Bottle feeding mothers have made a choice to faff around with sterilising etc but no breast feeding mother ever needs to do this and you shouldn't expect them do do it just because you have a problem with them breastfeeding, it is your problem to overcome, not theirs!

JBD

FatVonD wrote: »

Of course inconvenience is an issue, breast feeding is chosen for many reasons, because the mother believes it to be healthier, because it is more natural and it also incredibly convenient. Bottle feeding mothers have made a choice to faff around with sterilising etc but no breast feeding mother ever needs to do this and you shouldn't expect them do do it just because you have a problem with them breastfeeding, it is your problem to overcome, not theirs!

Strangely enough, I found the opposite. I found breastfeeding to be incredibly inconvenient and bottle feeding to be much more convenient. Sterilising bottles isn't a 'faff' at all once you've done it a few times. If bottle feeding really was so inconvenient then I'm sure more Mums would try breastfeeding the 2nd or following times around.

RubyRue

kafkathecat wrote: »

'We' didn't know smoking was bad for us either. I will leave you to wait for the evidence in blissful ignorance. No one is imposing anything on anyone. As this discussion has become a bit extreme for my liking I'm out.

I think the reason why the discussion has taken a certain tone is the inference that mothers should primarily breastfeed regardless of whether they want to or not. Granted this thread is about breastfeeding but it has gone someway off topic. Inferring that bottle feeding is somehow on the same level as smoking doesn't help.

There is usually uproar when people comment negatively about breastfeeding with the response usually it’s my right and why should I be prevented from doing something that is natural and what I consider right for my baby. And it is their right to do so however when people choose to bottle feed there seems to be, at least in this thread, inferences that women are doing so because they don’t have enough support or because they have been pushed into bottle feeding or that it will be a decision that they regret in the future.

Why then is it ok associate the choice to bottle feed with negative connotations whereas if the same were done with breastfeeding there would be no end of arguments. I’m sure there are women who have been ‘let down’ for want of a better phrase with regards to breastfeeding and yes it is wrong, but that certainly isn’t the catch all reason why people decide to bottle feed. When my baby is born I will be bottle feeding and for no other reason than I want to, it is my choice. I don’t need counselling, I don’t have body/boob issues, I have not been conditioned by big businesses that only formula is the way to go the same way I’m not convinced by the research regarding breastfeeding. As for regretting the decision… why would I? I have made an informed choice that I am happy with the same way I’m sure breastfeeding mothers do. How you feed your child is no one else’s business but your own and if you are happy with that choice then as my dear departed grandma used to say the everyone else should just butt out.

Person_one

Rubyrue, I'm genuinely curious here, can you explain the reasons why you don't want to breastfeed?

blabberwort

FatVonD wrote: »

I understood your point and a dinner table is an appropriate place to be feeding, surely? For what it's worth a toddler would be eating solids along with the rest of the family so it's highly unlikely they would be being breast fed in a restaurant anyway.

Okay now you've finally confused me :undecided I dont understand your point at all. I thought (and your posts led me to believe) that we were discussing in this instance toddlers being bf in a cafe/restaraunt, but now your saying it's unlikely a toddler would be anyway. I dont get your point. I assumed all this time that were debating based on if they were.

FatVonD wrote: »

I'm sorry but you are flattering yourself if you think I am spending any time at all trying to twist your posts, I am posting from work and any inattention to detail is due to my posts being hurried!

Fair enough my mistake but it certainly appeared you were doing it, especially as you continued after me already pointing it out in previous posts. I can only assume you didnt have enough time to read that.

FatVonD wrote: »

I think you've either missed the point or completely lost the plot. It would be wholly appropriate to change a nappy in a toilet because other people !!!! in there, however it it also wholly appropriate for a baby/toddler to be fed where other people are feeding.

Hardly missing the point, we use the toilet in our homes too but that doesnt mean I ever changed my children in there. My point is that some things are appropriate and some are not it depends on the circumstances. Of course it's appropriate to let a toddler eat/drink at a table. I never suggested otherwise. That doesnt mean it's appropriate to have a toddler climbing on mummys lap and bf in the same place though where other people may be left feeling uncomfortable, especially when there are alternatives.

FatVonD wrote: »

Of course inconvenience is an issue, breast feeding is chosen for many reasons, because the mother believes it to be healthier, because it is more natural and it also incredibly convenient. Bottle feeding mothers have made a choice to faff around with sterilising etc but no breast feeding mother ever needs to do this and you shouldn't expect them do do it just because you have a problem with them breastfeeding, it is your problem to overcome, not theirs!

I'd be interested to hear from any mother that chooses bf purely for the convenience. I always assumed that the main reason was because it's meant to be best for your child. Hence the whole debate about how long is too long to bf a child. I think (yet again) i should mention i have no problem with women bf, I do feel however think that once the child can drink from a cup it is unnecessary.

RubyRue

Person_one wrote: »

Rubyrue, I'm genuinely curious here, can you explain the reasons why you don't want to breastfeed?

There isn't any big reason why. I have read information both on bottle feeding and breastfeeding, spoke to mothers who do breastfeed and those who don't and also spoke to my husband about what we would like to do.

I don't subscribe to the idea that formula is the best thing because the baby will sleep more, will be less demanding or that it is thought to be the easier option nor do I subscribe to the idea that breastfeeding is the be all and end all or it is something I have to do to bond with my child or to lose weight or that my child will be disadvantaged if I don't do it.

For us as a family we have decided that bottle feeding is the right thing for us.

Person_one

RubyRue wrote: »

There isn't any big reason why. I have read information both on bottle feeding and breastfeeding, spoke to mothers who do breastfeed and those who don't and also spoke to my husband about what we would like to do.

I don't subscribe to the idea that formula is the best thing because the baby will sleep more, will be less demanding or that it is thought to be the easier option nor do I subscribe to the idea that breastfeeding is the be all and end all or it is something I have to do to bond with my child or to lose weight or that my child will be disadvantaged if I don't do it.

For us as a family we have decided that bottle feeding is the right thing for us.

Thank for replying.

I'm sorry to keep going on at you, but you had two choices, and I can't see in your post the actual reason why you went for one over the other. What was the good thing about bottle feeding or the bad thing about breastfeeding that tipped the scales in the direction of bottle?