When does extended breastfeeding become weird....

thatgirlsam

RubyRue may not want to give the reasons why as that will invite people to argue against them or rubbish them

eg. I'm going to bottle feed, one of the reasons is that my husband wants to feed baby sometimes
reply - oh he can do that, you should just express etc, there are other ways for him to bond

It gets rather tedious explaining why you wish to formula feed as people will always argue their point, insinuating you are making the wrong choice

Not saying you are going to do this p-1 but other people certainly will

Person_one

thatgirlsam wrote: »

RubyRue may not want to give the reasons why as that will invite people to argue against them or rubbish them

Not saying you are going to do this p-1 but other people certainly will

I truly just want to get that insight into the reasoning behind the choice!

thatgirlsam

Person_one wrote: »

I truly just want to get that insight into the reasoning behind the choice!

Yeh I know and I know you don't mean it in a horrible way

But its not nice being 'picked apart' for parenting choices you make, and I guarantee thats what'll happen

I give it about 3 posts after RubyRue gives her reasons before someone trys to 'put her right'

poet123

RubyRue wrote: »

I think the reason why the discussion has taken a certain tone is the inference that mothers should primarily breastfeed regardless of whether they want to or not. Granted this thread is about breastfeeding but it has gone someway off topic. Inferring that bottle feeding is somehow on the same level as smoking doesn't help.

There is usually uproar when people comment negatively about breastfeeding with the response usually it’s my right and why should I be prevented from doing something that is natural and what I consider right for my baby. And it is their right to do so however when people choose to bottle feed there seems to be, at least in this thread, inferences that women are doing so because they don’t have enough support or because they have been pushed into bottle feeding or that it will be a decision that they regret in the future.

Why then is it ok associate the choice to bottle feed with negative connotations whereas if the same were done with breastfeeding there would be no end of arguments. I’m sure there are women who have been ‘let down’ for want of a better phrase with regards to breastfeeding and yes it is wrong, but that certainly isn’t the catch all reason why people decide to bottle feed. When my baby is born I will be bottle feeding and for no other reason than I want to, it is my choice. I don’t need counselling, I don’t have body/boob issues, I have not been conditioned by big businesses that only formula is the way to go the same way I’m not convinced by the research regarding breastfeeding. As for regretting the decision… why would I? I have made an informed choice that I am happy with the same way I’m sure breastfeeding mothers do. How you feed your child is no one else’s business but your own and if you are happy with that choice then as my dear departed grandma used to say the everyone else should just butt out.

You have echoed everything I have said on this thread and what I believe.

Why is it that it is acceptable to post negative remarks about bottle feeding but not breast feeding?

Out of interest how would you feel if having reached this decision you were told formula was on prescription only from herein and you had to have a medical reason for wanting to bottlefeed?

poet123

janninew wrote: »

Just had to pick up on your post saying 'we don't know what's detrimental about formula feeding to compare..' Does it worry parents that we don't know, surely we should know if feeding formula can be detrimental to a baby seeing as its a very important stage of their lives and its their only source of nourishment for many months?



I will say though that all Mums in the hospital SCBU where my daughter is are supported in their choices. I've had help trying to establish breastfeeding, I've also seen the Nurses help new Mums making formula, showing how to sterilise and what kind of teat works best.

If there were any detrimental effects studies would have highlighted them or the effects show in the many bottle fed babies, children and adults who are around us. There may be differences but they are not detrimental.

Your last paragraph is very encouraging to hear. New mums should be supported in their choice of feeding method whether that be breast or bottle.

nobile

Edited post

Gorgeestwo

RubyRue wrote: »

I think the reason why the discussion has taken a certain tone is the inference that mothers should primarily breastfeed regardless of whether they want to or not. Granted this thread is about breastfeeding but it has gone someway off topic. Inferring that bottle feeding is somehow on the same level as smoking doesn't help.

There is usually uproar when people comment negatively about breastfeeding with the response usually it’s my right and why should I be prevented from doing something that is natural and what I consider right for my baby. And it is their right to do so however when people choose to bottle feed there seems to be, at least in this thread, inferences that women are doing so because they don’t have enough support or because they have been pushed into bottle feeding or that it will be a decision that they regret in the future.

Why then is it ok associate the choice to bottle feed with negative connotations whereas if the same were done with breastfeeding there would be no end of arguments. I’m sure there are women who have been ‘let down’ for want of a better phrase with regards to breastfeeding and yes it is wrong, but that certainly isn’t the catch all reason why people decide to bottle feed. When my baby is born I will be bottle feeding and for no other reason than I want to, it is my choice. I don’t need counselling, I don’t have body/boob issues, I have not been conditioned by big businesses that only formula is the way to go the same way I’m not convinced by the research regarding breastfeeding. As for regretting the decision… why would I? I have made an informed choice that I am happy with the same way I’m sure breastfeeding mothers do. How you feed your child is no one else’s business but your own and if you are happy with that choice then as my dear departed grandma used to say the everyone else should just butt out.

RubyRue has basically said what I want to, but so much better than I could
I bottle fed both my children from birth, it was the right thing for my children and my family that's why, I don't have to explain and neither should I have to explain any more, as bf mothers needn't/shouldn't have to explain either.

I think all mothers should have support, whether they choose formula or breast feeding, I certainly didn't feel pressure to formula feed, quite the opposite, I felt pressure to bf.

It makes me very sad that people make statements about the bottle fed children being at a disadvantage, what horrible pressure to put on new parents, give them the facts, but all the facts for both methods, not just implying that ff babies will be disadvantaged academically or will have a life time of ill health, my children are now 5 and 6 and have had no more coughs and colds than any other child, probably less, they aren't riddled with allergies and the worst illness they've had has been chicken pox, they are both well ahead of their peers for reading and maths and are sociable, happy, children.

I wasn't uninformed, I'm not disadvantaged, I have a very supportive husband, who would have backed me 100%, whatever choice I'd made, I'm a grown woman, who made the right choice for MY family and that should be enough for anyone to accept my decision, just as they would accept a bf mother without question (and rightly so).

RubyRue

thatgirlsam wrote: »

Yeh I know and I know you don't mean it in a horrible way

But its not nice being 'picked apart' for parenting choices you make, and I guarantee thats what'll happen

I give it about 3 posts after RubyRue gives her reasons before someone trys to 'put her right'

The way the thread has been going I'm sorry to say but that is exactly what will happen which is why I'm not going into details, suffice to say that after weighing up both options that is the option I have chosen. As long as myself and my family are happy with that decision then that is all that matters. I don't want to get to the point where I feel like I am having to justify my choice.

I'm not making a big deal about bottle feeding, i only mentioned it to make the point that there are women who bottle feed not because they have been talked into it, or because they think breastfeeding is too hard but purely because bottle feeding is a perfectly acceptable method of feeding a child. For me the bigger deal is the attitude towards bottle feeding that seems to have surfaced.

Now I appreciate in the past breastfeeding as been viewed in an almost negative way and sometimes still is, I'm not condoning that and there has been as we all know alot of work done to promote breastfeeding but imagine if I tried to change someone's mind from breast to bottle, I would be shot down in flames in an instant, so I don't get why we think it is ok to almost do the same to bottle feeding mothers by coming up up with all sorts of arguments of why they their choice is wrong and they should be breastfeeding, if they are happy with their choice then leave them to it.

Shepherd1

Person_one wrote: »

I truly just want to get that insight into the reasoning behind the choice!

How would you feel about being questioned about your decision to be child free by choice

poet123

Gorgeestwo wrote: »

RubyRue has basically said what I want to, but so much better than I could
I bottle fed both my children from birth, it was the right thing for my children and my family that's why, I don't have to explain and neither should I have to explain any more, as bf mothers needn't/shouldn't have to explain either.

I think all mothers should have support, whether they choose formula or breast feeding, I certainly didn't feel pressure to formula feed, quite the opposite, I felt pressure to bf.

It makes me very sad that people make statements about the bottle fed children being at a disadvantage, what horrible pressure to put on new parents, give them the facts, but all the facts for both methods, not just implying that ff babies will be disadvantaged academically or will have a life time of ill health, my children are now 5 and 6 and have had no more coughs and colds than any other child, probably less, they aren't riddled with allergies and the worst illness they've had has been chicken pox, they are both well ahead of their peers for reading and maths and are sociable, happy, children.

I wasn't uninformed, I'm not disadvantaged, I have a very supportive husband, who would have backed me 100%, whatever choice I'd made, I'm a grown woman, who made the right choice for MY family and that should be enough for anyone to accept my decision, just as they would accept a bf mother without question (and rightly so).

:T

My children are 28, 25, 22, and 14 and between them the worst illness they have had is also chicken pox, and they hardly ever had time off school. The three eldest are in professional jobs (two in Law, one in Teaching) and academically were well ahead of most of their peers. So bottle feeding didn't harm them either medically or academically. All four are also sporty and have represented our county a national level, so no obesity issues either.

No one should have to explain their choice of feeding it is a personal decision. Feeding mothers look lovely whichever method they use.