I can't cope, please help

sexylulubelle

I really feel for you OP, life can be very difficult at times, and I myself have felt like giving up and running away, thats never going to be an answer, after much needed advice from many lovey posters on MSE, I have decided that change can only start with you( you have to want to make a change), and I know right now you feel everything is hopeless as anything good will be short-lived, but you also have lovely family and friends dont you?, thats not short-lived they love you so always bear that in mind You mentioned money is a big problem especially with escalating debts, cost of living etc believe me been there done that:( its frightening when the bills keep coming and you dont have any money coming in, but have you thought of doing a bootsale we all have loads of stuff we dont use or want, ask family and friends if they have anything to contribute, its nothing to feel ashamed off and every little bit helps, I'm planning on doing this soon, and people are so supportive + it shows that you are willing to get out there and make a few pennies.
Wishing you all the best for the future xx

kittiej

Aww rotten luck saturnalia, I think you've had some good advice.

The only thing I wanted to ask is what sort of job are you looking for? Is it just office work or would you consider shop work etc?

I'm just wondering if there are possibilities you haven't explored and sometimes starting in one part of a company can take you to another, sometimes it's all about establishing your work record.

What area are you in? Is there particularly high unemployment levels where you are? I know the last time we used temps in the office which was a couple of years ago things were getting very tough.

Best of luck

jackyann

I second a lot of what has been said. you have paid taxes & NI, fine to claim benefits whilst you get on your feet.
Definitely volunteer -opens up a lot of possibilities & social contacts. Look out for whatever is free in your area - lots of councils still do "open days" and "free concerts" - make the most of them.
Keep up with your friends - be upfront about having no money and suggest outings that are cheap / free, such as a walk. if you have a good friendship circle, just let them know that you are available to help them out for free, as this can improve skills & contacts (as long as you keep the boundaries about not being taken advantage of)
Look for "working holidays" as well, this is the right time of year.
Get out every day - walking is free - and it keeps your mood up. Good luck!

Valli

Didn't want to read and run but I retrained as a teacher, starting the month I was 40, because I had been made redundant from one chemical place and the writing was on the wall where I was.
You've had some excellent advice and I hope things work out well for you.

skyvicky123

I'm loving jojo's advice about topping up to your training in order to teach languages. that sounds like a really good route for you. Hope you get things back in track x

LisaB85

I know how you feel, I'm 26 I lost my job in May and although I get interviews I get rejected. I am single and live at home with a mum who doesn't help me feel secure and we don't get on as she expects me to carry her all the time.

I know what I want to do, I want to get a job so I can learn to drive and then possibly get a live in job in a field that I want or get a better paid job as driving will open up all kinds of possibilities BUT I just can't get a job.

I feel like I'm in a catch 22 and can't see any way out or a future xx

ali-t

As some others have said you can get access to courses for free if you are on benefits. Have a look for a TEFL course and you may be able to go and live abroad for a while. I know of people who have done this in Japan and India who loved it.

gingin_2

Valli wrote: »

Didn't want to read and run but I retrained as a teacher, starting the month I was 40, because I had been made redundant from one chemical place and the writing was on the wall where I was.
You've had some excellent advice and I hope things work out well for you.

I am similar. I was going to type it but didn't quite know how without sounding like it was a last resort type thing ( which it isn't) but I am also studying for a degree at almost 34, with a view to either being a teacher, or ideally a social worker. I don't see myself being in full-time work until I am 40 but I think public sector work is more favourable to a more mature person. Could you retrain and can you use being on benefits to your advantage, with regards to funding/ grants? I hope that hasn't come out wrongly.

I hope you come back and post

Spirit_2

Hello OP

Lots of really good observations on here, especially that on he personal and employee front all at your last job wanted to work with you ; it is the technical (but important to the organisations rules) problem that cost you the job, not a lack of capability or interpersonal problems.

Try for jobs, volunteering, training outside of financial services and you will not have to worry about the DRO.

You have expressed a concern for your family ...if you were my daughter I would want to comfort you and support you. Can you tell them that your present situation is a trial at the moment? Could you move home for a while? If you were our daughter my OH and I would want you to know that moving home is not a retreat but can be a place of respite and renewal, where you always belong.

You have a Modern Languages BA - not an easy degree - I am sure your family and you had great pride when you got it. You have it in you to get through this with a bit of support.

saterkey

have you thought about working with a voluntary agency abroad, they pay you so much to work out there with them and accommodation. You could use your degree to teach languages to kids who need help etc. This would give you confidence and more on your cv, a break from the norm and hopefully a ready made group of people to socialise with. Takes a lot of courage, but even if you dont do that, the world is your oyster. Try talking with your family if you can move in with them for a bit perhaps to save on rent and get your life back in order. Good luck hope things improve for you.