money as a wedding gift, how much?

burnoutbabe

choccybuttons wrote: »

Hi

If you are really skint, I think its acceptable to give what you can afford. .

but what if you are not skint, why can you then not just stick to what you think is reasonable dependent on whether going alone or not and how close you are to the couple.

If someone thinks "they should give more as they have savings", thats very rude.

ash28

Plumpro wrote: »

Do any of you realise how much a wedding costs?
Just for the reception cost me £8,000 for 60 guests,
So costing £133 to sit each person. Evening buffet at £20 per head, cost of DJ £400. And the bar was prepaid.

I asked for money towards my honeymoon as we had lived together for a few years we had no need for toasters etc.

The guests that were invited for the day were mostly immediate family. The average gift was around £20 each. From all guests day and evening guests gave the same. The bar bill came to £1600 alone. So whatever they gave as a cash gift they made sure they took it back in drink.

I've been to 2 weddings in the last year and they couldn't have been more different.

The last one I went to a few weeks ago cost over £30k, was held in a lovely wedding venue and the couple paid for some of the family and close friends to stay overnight. However what they didn't tell the ones with children was that it was room only and a couple of families had 2 or 3 children. Imagine their surprise the next morning to charged £20 a head for breakfast!! Regardless of whether you had a full English or a couple of slices of toast....

The major complaint from the bride was the money they had received from the guests - there were 60 of us. She complained that some of them only gave them £20. I was so disgusted with her I didn't get in touch with her for 3 weeks.

It was her choice to spend the money on a lavish wedding - if they wanted to recoup some of the money from the guests perhaps they should have spent less.

The other wedding was done on an absolute shoestring.

Registry Office, though it was a beautiful building with beautiful grounds.

Bride's dress came from BHS - her adult bridesmaid paid to have the zip in the back of the dress replaced with lacings - cost £70 - bridesmaids wedding present to the couple.

The bridesmaid's (children) dresses came from Ebay.

The groom's suit was from Tesco.

The photographer was a family friend - his wedding present to them.

Flowers and bouquets made by the bride's mother.

Wedding cake, 3 tier complete with bride carrying the groom (including the right hair colour and styles) made by a friend of the bride who is pastry chef - it was absolutely stunning (and delicious) - was a wedding present.

The reception was held in a country pub, cost £400 for a 3 course meal for 40 people (our wedding present to them).

The toast was given to them by the landlord -

The invitations included a menu to make your choice of food from - to make things easier for the chef and staff on the day. And the food was delicious.

Now that was one of the best weddings I have ever been to - and I've been to a fair few. It was all organised in a few weeks. It was really happy, relaxed, friendly occasion. It was an absolute pleasure to attend - they didn't ask for wedding presents or money - all they wanted was the pleasure of our (and the other guests) company - one of the things that made it really nice was because of the reception venue friends who weren't invited to the wedding could (and did) just drop in.