money as a wedding gift, how much?

InkZ

I'm getting married later this year and my GF's bridesmaids have offered to pay for their own dresses if they are a colour they like and something they can reuse. I'd be horrified if they felt they had to give anything over this!

Paying for their own dress is a contribution to the wedding itself.

Lara44

I agree, I didn't ask for anything from my bridesmaids. Even though I bought their dresses, it's still a lot of time, money and energy to arrange the hen night, travel around for the wedding rehearsal etc.

FatVonD

OP, I'd buy a travel guide to Thailand from ebay (the cover price will say way more than you pay for it!) and then slip 1,000 Baht (is that about £15?) into the cover.

bratz81

I agree with others that asking for gifts or money is rude, but I understand most people (myself included!) would rather get someone something they want/need so a list can be useful. We're getting married in June and will have a list if people ask us, but certainly won't be expecting gifts or going out of our way to tell people where it is.

We're also paying for our bridesmaids dress/shoes/accessories and have got her a gift, and same with the best man, ushers and so on. Wouldn't DREAM of expecting any of them to pay for their own after all, we asked them to be in the wedding so should kit them out.

In light of this, I would either give what you can afford, £20 say, or if you don't fancy giving money get a travel guide, or a nice photo album for the honeymoon snaps or something along those lines

loztredders

Thanks everyone for your helpful replies.We had to buy our own dresses as they dont have lots of money to pay for everything. we didnt get to choose the dress and i dont really like it and wont wear it again so will put it on ebay after the wedding.
think I'll just pop £20 in the card then,I think they know ive not got a great deal of spare cash.

jakes-mum

I do think its unfair to ask you for money on top of paying for your bridesmaid outfit regardless of the pact you all made. When we got married, a close friend of ours gave us £50 as a wedding gift which though we appreciated set a bar for what we had to give when he got married 6 months later. We ended up keeping what he gave us and giving it back to him in his wedding card

With regards to the asking for money from guests, this was a question I agonised over as our wedding was literally the piece of paper to make it official, we were in our 3rd home and had a 6 year old. I compromised with speaking to my mum and DH spoke to his and when each of them brought up the 'so and so has asked what you want for your wedding' and said no gift was necessary but if they wished to, £10 in a card would be greatfully recieved (we both come from families where they wouldnt dream of not giving a gift ) we said nothing to any friends / parents friends that attended about gifts.

OP please dont feel you have to give them a gift, my maid of honour didnt give me a gift for my wedding (I bought all her outfit) and I couldnt care less, she gave me her time on my special day, she stood (whilst 5 months pregnant) in a freezing church for an hour while I took my vows, posed for photos, held my flowers and another 100 things that day which to me was the best gift I could have recieved

Bluemeanie_2

fluffnutter wrote: »

I asked for nothing from my friends when I got married. I think it's absolutely crass to expect money and it causes the kind of horrible anxiety that the OP's feeling. Who wants to feel tight? No one. But if you're a bit strapped for cash, and your mates expect you to pay for their honeymoon how else are you going to feel?? It makes my quite angry actually.

If people want to buy presents, then that's lovely but expecting people to cough up cash so that you can lie on a beach feeling smug is appalling, IMO.

I would rather give someone the fiver than buy them a present that ends up in the car boot pile!

zcrat41

I'm being a BM this year and will probably spend around £500 on a tea set for her (its a very good friend, my would be sister). She will have spent in excess of that on my dress/hotel etc.

When we got married gifts ranged from £10 to £3000 from some close family. The further north you went the more generous the family got! It really depends on your circumstance and family.

One of the best present we got was from a BM who between her and her OH took photos throughout the day (withought our knowledge) and when we returned from honeymoon she had posted us the most beautiful handmade album with lovely personal photos. Particularly good as we didn't get the official photo's for over 6 months! THat is one of the gifts I know I will treasure forever and probably cost her about £20

marywooyeah

LilMissEmmylou wrote: »

Now see Marywooyeah I LOVE people who have lists, then I know I am picking something they really want!

I can see that aspect but personally I don't like them cos they tend to be lists of overpriced stuff like a towel bale for £40 when you could buy a set of towels for far less than that but you have to buy the ones off the list, also the B&G know how much everything costs so once I bought something which was £15 because it was all I could afford and was worried they would think I was being stingy.

joess

We always give £50 if it's a day wedding we're attending and £20 if it's an evening reception.