money as a wedding gift, how much?

MandM90

My BMs gave me between 50-200 (two were students) but we paid for their dresses, shoes, jewellery, accommodation, meal before and transport! Wouldn't expect anything if they had bought their own.

Family was anything up to 500 depending on relation, most friends around 80 (couples). Give what you can afford. Some student friends bought us a bottle instead; we were just happy they came! We didn't actually ask for money though...when asked we just said a contribution towards the honeymoon would be greatly appreciated.

Plumpro

Do any of you realise how much a wedding costs?
Just for the reception cost me £8,000 for 60 guests,
So costing £133 to sit each person. Evening buffet at £20 per head, cost of DJ £400. And the bar was prepaid.

I asked for money towards my honeymoon as we had lived together for a few years we had no need for toasters etc.

The guests that were invited for the day were mostly immediate family. The average gift was around £20 each. From all guests day and evening guests gave the same. The bar bill came to £1600 alone. So whatever they gave as a cash gift they made sure they took it back in drink.

NAR

loztredders I am shocked you have had to pay for your bridesmaid dresses. :eek: What is wrong with that bride?

In general when it comes to wedding presents you English are a mighty mean lot.

Now whilst I don't totally agree with cash presents, I can understand when it is appropriate ie living together for a period before marrying.

Think about cost of meals and drinks being provided - that should be your starting point for a cash present.

Taadaa

Plumpro wrote: »

Do any of you realise how much a wedding costs?
Just for the reception cost me £8,000 for 60 guests,
So costing £133 to sit each person. Evening buffet at £20 per head, cost of DJ £400. And the bar was prepaid.

I asked for money towards my honeymoon as we had lived together for a few years we had no need for toasters etc.

The guests that were invited for the day were mostly immediate family. The average gift was around £20 each. From all guests day and evening guests gave the same. The bar bill came to £1600 alone. So whatever they gave as a cash gift they made sure they took it back in drink.

It doesn't have to cost any more than the licence fee. If you were going to resent the bar bill, perhaps you shouldn't have had a free bar.

moneypuddle

Taadaa wrote: »

It doesn't have to cost any more than the licence fee. If you were going to resent the bar bill, perhaps you shouldn't have had a free bar.

Agreed :cool:

maman

I find it odd that the thread now seems to be moving towards guests giving to measure up what bride and groom have chosen to spend on the wedding!!

Just to lighten things, my nephew gave a brilliant speech at his wedding a couple of years ago. He told us that he and his bride had agonised over the seating plan and finally decided to arrange people from the front to the back of the room in order of the value of the gifts they had received. Then waved to his mate at the back and said 'thank your for the tea towels!' I thik lots of posters on here might be in the back row!

CH27

Plumpro wrote: »

Do any of you realise how much a wedding costs?
Just for the reception cost me £8,000 for 60 guests,
So costing £133 to sit each person. Evening buffet at £20 per head, cost of DJ £400. And the bar was prepaid.

I asked for money towards my honeymoon as we had lived together for a few years we had no need for toasters etc.

The guests that were invited for the day were mostly immediate family. The average gift was around £20 each. From all guests day and evening guests gave the same. The bar bill came to £1600 alone. So whatever they gave as a cash gift they made sure they took it back in drink.

You obviously had money to waste. You chose do to it so moaning about is a bit off.

choccybuttons

Hi

If you are really skint, I think its acceptable to give what you can afford. We gave friends £10 last year when went to a wedding last year. I was on maternity leave, dh was having a quiet time at work. We had to pay for travel to the venue (4 hour drive), a hotel room and our drinks (well we snuck some into our hotel to cut costs) - friend chose to get married in the country.

Our friends would have rather had us at the wedding than our money. They are very well off so they might have thought £10 was tight but tbh I don't care, we gave them a gift and that is all that matters.

I cant believe people are saying they think £30 is not enough etc. I invited people to my wedding because I wanted them there not for the money. Im old fashioned though, I hate giving people money. Another friends wedding we went to, you had to give a minimum of £20 as that's the least the travel company would accept - its just plain rude.

Yes I did have a wedding list at Debenhams as we were young and didn't have our own home. We only told people about the list if they asked. My friends love it that they come into my home and see the ornaments, crockery ect that they brought me for my wedding ten years ago.

Poppy9

I absolutely hate this trend to ask for money/voucher. IMO it's downright rude.

OP as you've bought your dress I think that is enough of a contribution.

I don't mind wedding lists if a couple are just starting out in their first home and providing they are not for high value goods or over priced essentials. What is wrong with just saying "beige towels" or "white fitted sheets" so the giver can choose where to buy the present from?

I may choose to give money instead of a gift, but it's my choice. How much I give will depend on the couple's circumstances i.e. 1 nephew had £100 but I bought DD bridesmaid dress/shoes etc. and paid for her to have her hair done. I offered to do this and my sister tried to insist on paying but I knew she was already paying out a fortune for the wedding so to me this formed part of my gift to the couple. Plus they had lived together for 8 years so had all household goods and I had previously bought them a house warming present.

Nephew number 2 had £500. He didn't live with his bride prior to wedding and they had nothing. I wanted to buy them a TV but I asked my nephew if he would prefer to have the money to buy a TV of his choosing (as men like buying TVS:D ). He invited me over as soon as the TV was in situ so I could view my gift.

jumpingjackd

maman wrote: »

I find it odd that the thread now seems to be moving towards guests giving to measure up what bride and groom have chosen to spend on the wedding!!

Just to lighten things, my nephew gave a brilliant speech at his wedding a couple of years ago. He told us that he and his bride had agonised over the seating plan and finally decided to arrange people from the front to the back of the room in order of the value of the gifts they had received. Then waved to his mate at the back and said 'thank your for the tea towels!' I thik lots of posters on here might be in the back row!

Think I may have walked out , lol!