money as a wedding gift, how much?

loztredders

I've been asked to be bridesmaid for a friends wedding, in the wedding invite they have written a poem asking for money for honeymoon spending rather than gifts as they have lived together for a while so have all the usual stuff.
My dilemma is how much should I give? I'm not very well off and have already had to buy a bridesmaid dress and shoes to match (not begrudgingly, as i'm pleased to have been asked) but I don't know how much to gift them, and don't want to look too stingy!:o

thunderbird

Tricky one - and difficult to know what would seem a lot of money to you.
I would guess minimum of £20 up to £100 for the wealthier guests?

Bluemeanie_2

I have been to 6 Weddings this year, and put £20 in every card. I see it as £10 from me, £10 from Hubby. We got married this year and this is the average we received off friends, and that is how much they put in, so I assume this is the "average" for our age/circumstances. We are all in our 20's, with modest jobs. Hopefully that's some help?!

somethingcorporate

I think anything up to £100 would be reasonable, especially since you are part of the wedding party.

We asked the same, we tended to get £50 or so from friends. Our European family gave us £400 EACH, it was mind blowing but the country they come from that is the culture for weddings, it just tends to be money (and lots of it) rather than gifts.

scottishchick27

TBH I think it's a cheek for them to have included the poem in with your invite if you are buying your own bridesmaids dress and shoes. I would give them £30 if I was you but if it was me and going by the relationship I have with my best friends I'd tell them they were getting nothing apart from my scintillating company and I'd do my bridesmaid duties for the day

leandygandy

If the bride knows you well enough to ask you to be a bridesmaid, I'm sure she'd know that you have spent out a fair whack already and don't have much left in the kitty for the gift?

Also, just because they asked for money doesn't mean you have to give it. What about something honeymoon related though, like a nice photo album for them to put their honeymoon photos in when they get back? Or Mr & Mrs passport covers?

McKneff

i\ agree with going down the gift route, I thought brides bought the bridesmaids dresses these days, my daughter is doing this but they are buying their own shoes/accessories.

scottishchick27

McKneff wrote: »

i\ agree with going down the gift route, I thought brides bought the bridesmaids dresses these days, my daughter is doing this but they are buying their own shoes/accessories.

Me and my mates decided when we were still at uni that when we got married the others bought their own bridesmaids dresses, they got off lucky as even though I've been engaged for ten years I've no intention of getting married

MX5huggy

If I give money for a honeymoon I will buy the currency for them 2500 Baht seems more than £50.

jtr2803

scottishchick27 wrote: »

TBH I think it's a cheek for them to have included the poem in with your invite if you are buying your own bridesmaids dress and shoes. I would give them £30 if I was you but if it was me and going by the relationship I have with my best friends I'd tell them they were getting nothing apart from my scintillating company and I'd do my bridesmaid duties for the day

Very much this! I think it's a bit cheeky to let you pay for your own dress and then suggest you give them a gift! I am not a fan of asking for money, if someone asked me personally then that's different but actually putting a poem in is a bit tasteless in my opinion.....

Normally for evening receptions we do £20 but for a closer friend I did £30 for evening only. It's really about whatever you feel you can comfortably give, I am sure your presence and involvement in their day is the best gift you can give

AlternateMe

I've been to 3 weddings that asked for money and I gave each of them £20 (or was it £25?) and a lottery ticket! It's a tricky one, isn't it?