How to make it cool to achieve at school

pollypenny

Agree with above exactly.

With one Y8, I'd give excellent work back to the class with very careful comments; eg . Not bad, James.' while my written comment expressed my pleasure and his success.

Op, you say your son is already setted for some subjects. can you foster friendships with boys in those higher sets - the more motivated lads?

easy

spadoosh wrote: »

You really want your child to build lego as an adult?!?! And have sent him to a private school to achieve this?! I would imagine there are cheaper ways of getting into that career?

Oh don't be silly ! How many people end up doing what they aspired to when they were 12 (I wanted to be a dancer on top of the pops, for heavens sake, ended up in the I.T industry) ?

But he has an ambition - which is more than most of his peers at the end of year 6 in our local primary school had - and if he works towards a degree in Maths or engineering, the doors will be wide open for him, won't they ?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Going towards the music again, if he plays trumpet or cornet, he's in b flat, so could easily switch to something else scored in treble clef, or could play something slightly less oooompah, ooompah and move over to say, jazz trumpet as well/instead. If he plays tuba, trombone or suchlike, he's reading bass clef, so could look at bass guitar without much effort.

You can be as geeky as geeky gets, if you (as a young bloke) can get up onstage and play something cool, you instantly lose all grief for being smart - and go up at least 5 notches in girlfriend quality. Something else that mates will look up to him for.


You might be surprised just how well educated a lot of successful musicians are. So might he.


(Not saying it should be pushed as career, but if he's interested in cool, it does help to show how achievement, study and perseverance can look good and get you the nice things in life)

Miski

I wrote a long piece about what I did with all of my siblings before realising I can sum it up with;

Bribe them.
My brother is studying languages (French and German) which he says he wanted to take A Levels in. I took him to France so he could practice it abit.
The eldest got a playstation and TV when he bought home A's in his GCSE.

I got a computer and WOW subscription when I completed my GCSEs and A Levels.
Hard work = Reward in my house
It does work.

kittypimms

I guess when you're 14ish fitting in is *the* most important thing. It certainly was to me. Friends are your life at that age, and you can't really look further than the end of the term. If he has no *real* passion outside of friends, that is (you mentioned sport/ an instrument).

Maybe he needs an older role model. Someone with a good job, a disposable income, and a fab hobby. Agree with an above poster - maybe take him to a gig or sports game as a reward for hard work, or get a family friend to let him go to work with them one day in a "cool" job (A friend of mine is a sound engineer and goes on tour with bands, meeting a lot of famous people - and he got there through hard graft and a degree).

I remember what it's like to be in that situation - my parents pushed for me to do better (and achieve like my sister), but I only wanted to enjoy *now* and s*d the consequences.

However, it's not the end of the world if he does turn out average. I have a bloomin good job, even after leaving formal education at 16. Yes, I regret not staying on and getting here sooner, but I value the life skills I've gained in the meantime.

spadoosh

easy wrote: »

Oh don't be silly ! How many people end up doing what they aspired to when they were 12 (I wanted to be a dancer on top of the pops, for heavens sake, ended up in the I.T industry) ?

But he has an ambition - which is more than most of his peers at the end of year 6 in our local primary school had - and if he works towards a degree in Maths or engineering, the doors will be wide open for him, won't they ?

I did, i always wanted to be an accounts assistant, that first day reconcileing the accounts i knew all my hard work had paid off!! I thank my pushy parents and teachers every day...... YOU SOUL DESTROYING BAS****S!!!!

At least you can computer whizz yourself so it looks like your dancing on top of the pops, what can i do with a spreadsheet!?!?!?

Appologies easy, it was meant as tongue in cheek

easy

spadoosh wrote: »

I did, i always wanted to be an accounts assistant, that first day reconcileing the accounts i knew all my hard work had paid off!! I thank my pushy parents and teachers every day...... YOU SOUL DESTROYING BAS****S!!!!

At least you can computer whizz yourself so it looks like your dancing on top of the pops, what can i do with a spreadsheet!?!?!?

Appologies easy, it was meant as tongue in cheek

Ah Spadoosh, I spent 25 years in I.T., specialising in accountancy applications, training and support. But now I have a family and can't travel the country living in hotels any more, I work as an 'umble bookkeeper.

But it's a living (well it contributes to the school fees), and I lived the highlife for a while.

BTW if it helps, I was a bit of a slacker at school too, always did as little as I could get away with ...

Memory_Girl

A really cool Muso mate of mine - took DS1 into his office, logged onto Youtube ............. and showed him videos of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates.

Told him " Be cool if you like - but remember the nerds have inherited the earth!!"

Think it got through to him - he wants to be an animator so is into everything as I can give him a million reasons why English, Geography, Maths, IT, Physics, Music etc may be relevant.

One of these days he is gonna figure out it was s et-up though

MG

make_me_wise

rca779 wrote: »

would be devastated to be considered a nerd, instead it’s all about being cool to him and as a result he has lost his focus and his results are suffering.

So how do I try and get him back on the right track before it’s too late?
What I would really like to do is learn how to make learning and achieving at school “cool”?

My parents had the same problem with me when I was a teenager. They sat me down and pointed out that unless I really knuckled down I could look forward to a far less comfortable existence than what I enjoyed at home with them.

I was asked if I left school with bad qualifications how did I expect to go on to higher education or find a good job. At 14 with every need being met I gave them some smart alec reply, to which I was pulled up short very fast.

I was told that very gradually I was going to be expected to learn to stand on my own two feet and that they would not always be providing everything for me.

They said if they were going to be buying me my clothes in my late teens it would be supermarket gear not the labels I liked wearing. If I needed new shoes they would be clarks, not the fashionable footwear I liked. They asked how I would feel going everywhere by bus whilst my peers were having driving lessons and buying their first cars. Would I like to be having to use phone boxes whilst everyone else had mobile phones?

Some straight talking really worked on me. My dad pointed out just how much it cost to run the home I was growing up in. How much it costs to run a car what with petrol, tax, insurance, mots, services etc. They took me out with them when they did the weekly shop and went through the reciept with me showing me the real costs of providing nice meals for the family and treats. I knew the costs of day trips out, holidays etc. All things that children take for granted and seem to think fall from trees without any financial outlay.

I certainly thought that way as did alot of my peers till my eyes were opened. Kids should have fabulous childhoods and not be worried about how it is all funded. There does come a time though when making them realise how it is all achieved is no bad thing and might make them think about their own futures. If there is no incentive to make them want to do the best they can they wont bother, and may go along with the crowd and drift through school, to avoid being thought of as a nerd.

Incentives doesn't have to mean bribing them just opening their eyes.

Peater

The 'coolest' kid at my expensive private school went on to achieve the dizzy heights of deputy groundsman for the same school. Whereas a 'spiv' like me went and got a degree and some nice well paid jobs.

I appreciate that it's hard to articulate that to a 13yr old though.