How to make it cool to achieve at school

rca779

Thanks Thunderbird, sounds VERY familiar

hitatotatus

If he is at a good level with his instrument maybe you could discuss starting to learn another. If coolness is his aim I would suggest - guitar, sax, piano, drums! How good is the school music department at putting on concerts/performances?

Lotus-eater

hitatotatus wrote: »

Me too, especially re Facebook as this is something we have avoided until now and trying to work out the way forward.

I'm so hoping that idiotbook will have died a death by the time my DD gets to a reasonable age to be allowed to use it.
Please please please.

spadoosh

rca779 wrote: »

Homework isn't a problem, he certainly gets plenty of that, but his attitude towards it is poor - the least amount of effort.

Regarding HTH idea about a musical instrument, he plays every week in a brass band.

You ever consdiered his poor attitude towards somethings could be because hes doing that much already?!?

From what i got he does every sport going, is the brightest lad in the school and deals with the workload to go with it, and hes in the brass band.

Now when i was at school it was a case of being good at one thing, you were either good at sports, good at school,or good at extra curricular (like ya bands etc) The poor boy has got everything to do no wonder he cant be !!!!!d doing some of it!

And this is never gonna go down well im afraid but could it not be case of the pressure of doing better and better thats annoying him and hes like 'whats the point if i do well at this ill just get told i have to do better at the next thing'

I was an exceptionally bright child and could have gone onto more or less any career i chose and was always 'told you have to do this, you have to do that' as soon as i realised i didnt have to do anything i didnt want the fingers went up and i started to enjoy my life.

I would consider letting him do a SWOT analysis of himself (you say hes bright he must have reasoning skills etc) and see what he wants to be good at, what he needs/should be good at (for life in general and careers) If he decides you won't need to make learning 'kool' hell just want to do it!

thunderbird

Fortunately mine isn't interested in FB, but he is obssessed with something called Minecraft.

rca779

Thanks spadoosh - you are right in many ways that he does SO much. It's always been his choice and we have fully supported him, but may he is doing too much and this is affecting his school work. Getting him to give something up might be a bit of a challenge, but might be worth discussing with him.

What is a SWOT analysis of himself?

doodoot

Re: Facebook.

Why does he have to an account if you don't like him having one?

Cancel it, tell him tough titties and you will re-assess the situation in 3/6 months time.

My DD1 is 14 and I won't let him have one - when he pays towards the broadband then he can play online on FB to his heart's content.

As for academic success...show your son a 1 bed flat then show him a detached house...ask him which one he would prefer to live in when he gets a job.

Point out that slackers at school very rarely get a detached house on a low paid wage...and that you won't help him out when he drops out of school with no qualifications.

'Tough love' should be your mantra.

poet123

Do you have anyone in the family who he looks up to/wants to get one over on(!) who achieved at school? I ask because my youngest is 14, and his three older brothers are all high achievers, but his aim is to outdo their results. We encourage this, but we tread a fine line with it, because if he doesn't manage it we don't want him to feel a failure!! He is also into computer games, but as long as his work is done,(which we do monitor but not overtly) and he plays his sports, we have no problems with that. The strategy seems to be working.....

rca779

That strategy is certainly working for my younger Son (year 7). Academics subjects come much harder for him, but so far he is showing a fine attitude.

Ravenlady_2

You tell him how awesome freshers week at Uni is and bribe him.