my poor friend :(

PoorCharleyBear

I know all cases are different but a friend of mine had her twins at 24 weeks...they are now 2 years old and in perfect health. They did spend nearly 4 months in special care unit, and friend was really worried for the first 18 months. They have been a little behind with standing, walking etc (really only a little) but now they are two they are bang on target.

Hope things go as well for your friend as they did mine.

Crowdpleaser

Heya, sorry to hear about your friend. My DD was born 4 years ago at 27+6 gestation. It was tough but she is bright and fabulous and a pain in the backside lol now!

Anyway, the best support you can be for her is as a listener, be there if she just wants to get away from the hospital for a bit (it sounds awful but you so feel like that). And make her some food!!!! We have no family here and no one offered to make us dinners (being over xmas, everyone had their own families to think about) so we ended up living in hosp canteen food. A few meals like shepherds pie, pasta back, lasagne, a plated up sunday roast will mean an awful lot to your friend and will give her the strength she needs.

Finally, her baby being born in the beginning of a very long journey, she will be involved with neonatology for many years to come and she will rely on support and love from friends. I cant give advice on her husband etc as I have no experience but am sending positive thoughts to all parties at this difficult time xxx

jenhug

offer her help with things like cleaning, cooking, running errands, these are the things she won;t have time to do. and just be there with a shoulder when she needs it. what a lovely friend you sound. well done, many walk away in times of stress.

haras_nosirrah

Just a little update. My friend is coming home today. Baby and husband still in hospital. Baby has had a blood transfusion and is a little fighter. They have called him Sebastian.

emsbet

haras_nosirrah wrote: »

Just a little update. My friend is coming home today. Baby and husband still in hospital. Baby has had a blood transfusion and is a little fighter. They have called him Sebastian.

Thanks for the update, I had been wondering how they were getting on. What a lovely name they have chosen.

xx

Abbafan1972

Aww best wishes to your friend and her family.

My eldest DD was born at 24 weeks and she just celebrated her 10th birthday at the end November.

It was a rocky road and very hard at times. She will need a friend like you around, so be there for her as much as you can.

Even after leaving hospital, there were endless hospital appointments, eye hospital, child development centre, Consultant Paediatrician, Portage, the list goes on, luckily she's been discharged from all of them now. But she is still classed as minor "special needs".

Looking back on it, my hubby was my rock. I don't have any real "close" friends. Not even my own mother was there for me when I needed her.

Just edited to add I love the name they've chosen.

lizzywig

She is going to be spending a lot of time in hospital. Why don't you offer to take her places, cook things etc, I'm sure the support will ease the burdon of day to day life and she can concenrate on her little one.

Sometimes life throws a lot of horrible things at you. When DH was 21 his mum died and a month later we lost our baby very early on. I can't tell you how much life has changed for the better and I hope that the same will happen for your friend. She is very lucky having someone as nice as you in her life.

HRV

There are quite a few internet threads on how to help people with babies in special care. Can she drive or did she have a c sec- people offering to take me to the hospital in the early days of my babies being in NICU really helped. my mil did my cleaning- that helped and i guess all these things will also help to give her more time with her husband. Ask if she needs anything for the baby- I could only get small enough nappies at a few shops and was getting through a ridiculous number and it wasnt easy for me to get there when i couldnt drive. Also some life insurance covers teh children too- not sure if this might be covered

The bliss website and eventually my local support group helped me too- I could ask questions i needed answers to.

THoughts are with your friend xxx

Gigglepig

How nice that you are looking out for your friend. I hope little baby Sebastian recovers soon :-)

Slinky

My friend had her IVF baby unexpectedly at 25 weeks about 18 months ago. Naturally it was a harrowing time, but she's now a seemingly normal, happy little girl. Think there may be some slight issues with her lungs, but they'll settle for that given the alternative.

The baby units can work wonders these days. Fingers crossed for your friend and her family