my poor friend :(

jacci45

Thinking of your friend.....xxx

Absinthe_2

Life throws up some rum cards sometimes. Thinking of your friend, and willing her the strength, and support she needs to get through. xx

haras_nosirrah

thank you all so much for your kind words

I am going to go and see them sunday. Fortunately the baby has been taken to the same hospital where her husband is being treated but it is a half hour from their home

Am also thinking practically - they are going to have problems paying their bills as they have a mortgage - husband not working as he is going through chemo and I don't imagine she will now be working either. Am thinking of all their friends getting together and doing some fundraising activities to help them out. I am aware though that I don't want to offend her though.

Before I run this by her does anyone who has been through similar think this is likely to offend? I don't want her to think she is a charity case?

deb68_2

sending love to your friend
Also to puppypants and all her family
(((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))
deb x

go_cat

haras_nosirrah wrote: »

thank you all so much for your kind words

I am going to go and see them sunday. Fortunately the baby has been taken to the same hospital where her husband is being treated but it is a half hour from their home

Am also thinking practically - they are going to have problems paying their bills as they have a mortgage - husband not working and I don't imagine she will now be either. Am thinking of all their friends getting together and doing some fundraising activities to help them out. I am aware though that I don't want to offend her though.

Before I run this by her does anyone who has been through similar think this is likely to offend? I don't want her to think she is a charity case?

Maybe some home cooked meals she could freeze as they will dashing to and from hospital and won't have time to cook

Tins and bits they can heat up quickly etc

sassyblue

I just wanted to say l'm a member of a fertility forum and have been for years, I've known quite a few of those ladies who've had their babies as early as 25 weeks and it's not all bad news. It may be a rocky road for baby but premature baby units are wonderful and work miracles day in day out.

I'll keep your friend and her little family in my prayers and hope everything goes smoothly for them all from now on.

Offering help with meals, laundering their clothes and anything else they need is wonderful. I wouldn't at all be offended at the fund raising you wish to do, it would help them to know people are thinking of them. xxxx

minimoneysaver

I wonder if either of them work and have an available fund that can be accessed in times of need? Worth contacting the cancer charities for advice too. Maybe if you find the advice out, you can pass it all to her so she can see what needs doing without trawling through the rubbish.

There_Goes_Trouble

haras_nosirrah wrote: »

Am also thinking practically - they are going to have problems paying their bills as they have a mortgage - husband not working as he is going through chemo and I don't imagine she will now be working either. Am thinking of all their friends getting together and doing some fundraising activities to help them out. I am aware though that I don't want to offend her though.

Before I run this by her does anyone who has been through similar think this is likely to offend? I don't want her to think she is a charity case?

They may be OK, I have got critical illness cover in my life insurance, so if I were off work with cancer or other illness of that severity, my insurance would pay out on the mortgage, maybe they have something similar? Also, they may be on sick pay/compassionate leave and still be being paid by work. Your friend may well be on maternity pay as the baby has now been born. It may not be as bad as you think depending on their companies/insurance policies.

If you are close enough friends though you could ask, I have a close friend who has offered to help me financially when I've struggled in the past and I've never been offended by it.

If they don't need help though you could still do a fundraiser, for the hospital SCBU unit or something? I suspect that might mean a lot to the parents and would help you to feel you're 'doing something'.

Flora_Poste

Being at the same hospital is a good thing. She would be torn apart literally if they were in two places. My friends baby was born earlier than that and shes starting school this year. It's a rocky road but all the babies she was in with are all doing fine. My friend lived in a little sideroom at the hospital for weeks. Might be worth asking if that's an option. Your friend is certainly a special case and it would make life more simple and bearable if she could be with one or other of them all day.

make_me_wise

I am so sorry to hear about your friends troubles. Some people do seem to get more than their fair share of problems dont they. Your friend is going to need other people round her to be really strong right now. All you can do is be there for her and talk/think positive. Her tiny new baby will be getting all the best possible care and no-one can predict what may happen in the future. Take it all one day at a time and just be really supportive. I wish them all well.