The "Pay ALL your debt off by Xmas 2012" challenge - PART 2!!!

Mrs_Addicted_to_Spending

rdchick - I'm so impressed you had the courage to tell your mum and dad :T - I've never been brave enough ! However, I'd prefer my children to tell me (double standards :rotfl:!!).

Antonia1 - that's good that the bursaries still exist even though the fees will eat up a lot of it.
I knew after 6 weeks of being with my DH that I wanted to marry him (whether he liked it or not :rotfl:) and we've been married 21 years .

kerri_dfw

Well done Steph for telling your family. I'm a firm believer that the more people that know the more people you have to support you. If they don't like it then that's not your fault, and if they snub you because of it then they're not true to you anyway. Both my parents, my sister, and OH know about my debt and I go around ranting about how I'm getting myself out of it myself. So much so that my Dad felt it necessary to explain his reasons for bailing my sister out in December...I glared at him as she should do it herself stupid man how will she learn?
The most important thing is to not accept any form of bailout, there are no shortcuts to being debt free and learning to live within your means, it's a long hard slog and we're in this together DFW comrades in arms. It's funny though, my train of thought has definitely changed from embarassment to feeling sorry for those that think they need to spend, spend,spend just because we live in the capital.

Oh and I'll tell you one thing, I'm never inviting the people round my house again that didn't turn up with wine at Christmas time and made my OH go to the shops (ended up spending £40 for the evening) because of it, yet drank us dry. I was livid...think I forgot to tell you lot that one. I had flu really badly, made HM mince pies and spent £20 on mulled wine from mr MS enough for 1 glass each, then people turned up not even with a bottle....sooooo rude!

mf0u1098

I'm so proud of you rdchick, you've shown such amazing courage to tell your folks! xxx


Well, had the dreaded family meal tonight and it was going pretty well (although my dad started kicking off even before we sat down as they wouldn't accept the 20% off voucher for a party of 10 as the limit is 6). We were having a good banter with the waiter until my family decided to try and matchmake me with him. I completely shut down after this and they just kept going on and on and on about it, making comments when he was near and being so embarrassing. I felt really uncomfortable and completely p*ssed off. The guy was sweet but he looked about 12 and I was not interested in the slightest. I still mad at them for not thinking how uncomfortable it probably made him too.

OK, I'm on a roll now... Just because I'm bl00dy single it does not mean that I need to be pimped out to any bloke/young lad who has a pulse and certainly not by my family who sit there all in smug couples saying awww bless, you might as well become a lesbian as you've not managed to find a fella yet. They are all happily together and make me feel like there must be something wrong with me! There isn't I promise you! I am just a young woman who won't settle for 2nd best, who doesn't just go out with random people just so I'm not on my own, I don't take any carp from anyone and I work darn hard at my job. My family just think I've got 3 heads and come from the planet zod as for them, it's not "normal" to be my age and still single. AARGGGHHHHH!!!! Honestly, I've had a few drinks tonight or I wouldn't writing this on here as I am quite a reserved person when it comes to my feelings and opening up to people about things that matter, I'm just so sick of being treated as though I'm a joke, as though I am in some way beneath them and some sort of failure because I haven't met that guy yet.

To be honest, after all your talk about changing careers and me even giving you the advice to go for your dream and life is too short and not a dress rehearsal, all I can think about it packing it all in and dissappearing. My friend was talking about how cool it would be to work in something like a Sealife centre, something completely different to anything I've ever done before, or go travelling or learn to scuba or fly a plane or... there must be more to life than working myself into an early grave, living with my folks, worrying about money, where every day is like groundhog day and before you know it, I'll be celebrating my 32 birthday and nothing will have changed (except no debt).

Sorry guys, didn't mean to ramble on but...

I'm off to bed now for a much needed sleep and hopefully things will look better in the morning. I'm done with family meals though.

rdchick

Awww Jemma, why do families do that?! I can completely see why you are done with family meals!

Thanks for your support guys, means a lot! Mum is gonna call me tomorrow so I shall see what she says then but nope no hand outs or short cuts for me xxx

kerri_dfw

Massive hugs Jemma *hugs* I was going to say "but...but...but...what about..." until I read the second paragraph...now I'm just thinking of telling you to pack up and head to the big smoke to make your fortune and go on the lash with me but then I've just quit my job and been on the session myself...so not the clearest of minds hahahaha scuba costs about £1600 to get fully qualified, I've looked into it and it can be tough on your body as you're exposed to lots of pressure. Plus girlies get sinus problems because we're wimps.

Sorry your birthday meal was crud though hope your weekend turns out to be better xxx

Steph... sorry I wasn't meaning to aim shortcuts/handouts at you if that's how it came across, I meant in general

another £7.27 paid to fr33mans can't be bothered to work out my total, whatever it is it's less than it was this morning.

Have wound my OH up when marriage got mentioned on the phon he said "I'm not getting married Kerri...ever!" so I said "yeah...you say that...":rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:this happened about 5 times before I reminded him I'm not changing my name via deedpoll and the kids are having my name :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

lashley82

kerri_dfw wrote: »

It's funny though, my train of thought has definitely changed from embarassment to feeling sorry for those that think they need to spend, spend,spend just because we live in the capital.

This is something that resonates with me big time, a few of my very good pals, and I love my boys to bits, their doing rather well for themselves (fair play) and therefore like going out places a bit swankier, as its nicer

Me, maybe its because I'm a bit old school in my ways, I don't mind going to a local boozer or a working mans for a drink, somewhere with sky on the telly and a dartboard on the wall. Them boys don't like that, fair enough and each to their own

For me the days of doing 40-50 nicker on a night out are long gone. If I'm spending more than a 20 spot then I'm generally feeling a bit ripped off, but then if your getting invited to places up Woodford, Shoreditch, the City etc your going to go well over that, even if your not a clubber like me. Its not my cup of tea no more.

I forget what my point is now as I've had a whiskey with me old man and I know I tend to ramble....

lashley82

mf0u1098 wrote: »

I'm just so sick of being treated as though I'm a joke, as though I am in some way beneath them and some sort of failure because I haven't met that guy yet.

And you shouldn't, I used to get this a lot, friends and family all coupling up and settling down, I'm one of the last to really get into something serious with someone. It never used to bother me as I've always been comfortable with my own company but it could get awkward at socal events and that. Then you feel eberyones looking at you and trying to hook you up with someone, and theres nothing worse than being pressured to make convo with someone in that kinda of environment, I just feel silly myself

Once again, whiskey, rambling etc lol

I think what I'm trying to get at is dont let the family stress you, after years of having mum going at me that she dont wanna be a young nan I'm now getting, oh I don't wanna die old without grandkids, even the old mans hinting! :mad:

It'll come though, usually when you least expect it. That I can probably guarantee

PedroMatias

mf0u1098 wrote: »

I'm so proud of you rdchick, you've shown such amazing courage to tell your folks! xxx


Well, had the dreaded family meal tonight and it was going pretty well (although my dad started kicking off even before we sat down as they wouldn't accept the 20% off voucher for a party of 10 as the limit is 6). We were having a good banter with the waiter until my family decided to try and matchmake me with him. I completely shut down after this and they just kept going on and on and on about it, making comments when he was near and being so embarrassing. I felt really uncomfortable and completely p*ssed off. The guy was sweet but he looked about 12 and I was not interested in the slightest. I still mad at them for not thinking how uncomfortable it probably made him too.

OK, I'm on a roll now... Just because I'm bl00dy single it does not mean that I need to be pimped out to any bloke/young lad who has a pulse and certainly not by my family who sit there all in smug couples saying awww bless, you might as well become a lesbian as you've not managed to find a fella yet. They are all happily together and make me feel like there must be something wrong with me! There isn't I promise you! I am just a young woman who won't settle for 2nd best, who doesn't just go out with random people just so I'm not on my own, I don't take any carp from anyone and I work darn hard at my job. My family just think I've got 3 heads and come from the planet zod as for them, it's not "normal" to be my age and still single. AARGGGHHHHH!!!! Honestly, I've had a few drinks tonight or I wouldn't writing this on here as I am quite a reserved person when it comes to my feelings and opening up to people about things that matter, I'm just so sick of being treated as though I'm a joke, as though I am in some way beneath them and some sort of failure because I haven't met that guy yet.

To be honest, after all your talk about changing careers and me even giving you the advice to go for your dream and life is too short and not a dress rehearsal, all I can think about it packing it all in and dissappearing. My friend was talking about how cool it would be to work in something like a Sealife centre, something completely different to anything I've ever done before, or go travelling or learn to scuba or fly a plane or... there must be more to life than working myself into an early grave, living with my folks, worrying about money, where every day is like groundhog day and before you know it, I'll be celebrating my 32 birthday and nothing will have changed (except no debt).

Sorry guys, didn't mean to ramble on but...

I'm off to bed now for a much needed sleep and hopefully things will look better in the morning. I'm done with family meals though.

Massive hugs Jemma. I wish I could've had the opportunity to whisk you off your feet, but fate intervened in the worst way in the last few weeks. You deserve so much - be patient, it'll come soon! Don't accept second-best, whatever happens, and don't feel hopeless (although I feel hypocritical saying that, it's as easy state of mind to slip into). Things change more quickly than you can imagine, and you'll look back and be unable to comprehend how you felt that way such a short time ago.

Chin up

rdchick

PedroMatias wrote: »

Massive hugs Jemma. I wish I could've had the opportunity to whisk you off your feet, but fate intervened in the worst way in the last few weeks. You deserve so much - be patient, it'll come soon! Don't accept second-best, whatever happens, and don't feel hopeless (although I feel hypocritical saying that, it's as easy state of mind to slip into). Things change more quickly than you can imagine, and you'll look back and be unable to comprehend how you felt that way such a short time ago.

Chin up

Awwww cute!! Pedro is right though Jemma, don't feel you have to take the first guy that takes an interest in you just because it will keep the folks happy plus, if you hang on a bit Pedro will be around

Things like meeting 'the one' or just 'someone uber lovely' often happen when you least expect it.

When I met my bf I was already in a relationship (with the guy who used me like a doormat) and I was starting my first real job straight after uni (where I am now) I was super nervous, not thinking about who I would meet but more I hope I fit in... He saw me across the carpark and asked a colleague if they knew who I was... They didn't obviously! Then he saw me walking into his office! So anyway, went round the office and met everyone and he just stuck with me, never believed it before but it was love at first sight (burgh!) very handsome man with a name I couldn't pronounce and the rest as they say is history

Just thought I'd share that It never even crossed my mind I would meet someone like him at work, never! But it happened, a month later we moved in together and I've never been happier! Xxx

rdchick

kerri_dfw wrote: »

Steph... sorry I wasn't meaning to aim shortcuts/handouts at you if that's how it came across, I meant in general

Oh no Kerri not at all, I knew you meant in general, just hope that no one thought that's why I was gonna tell the folks in the first place!

Kinda dreading the phone call, it will be a lecture but hopefully I can supply the answers and make it seem like I know what I'm doing. Mum was like why don't you get a loan for your overdraft as it's very expensive and a loan would be cheaper... Errm yeah mum it would be if I didn't take a loan out in 2010 to pay it off but then didn't... Would be a lot cheaper! Ahh well, what's done is done, I can't polish a turd as they say

Happy Saturday everyone... Parkrun in a bit and it's gonna be ruddy freezing! Xxx