The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 11

beckseven

10 afds for me please shaggy and 2 for the snc please bearacus. All the very best wishes to your mum bearacus. I really want my waving man so staying strong tonight. Had a lovely meal last night and when I got there everyone was sitting there with their diet cokes so it made it an easy choice for me! Had very stressful school run today with son's pe bag string getting wrapped round the buggy wheels-it was funny looking back but nearly ran back to the car in tears until someone helpful untangled it for me!

shar-rona

Hi I am new here but so want to join you.. my story briefly ...

I am 52 and have always drunk more than i should but not loads and had af nights between 2 and 3 nights each week. Then my daughter with bump and her partner came to live with us while they were waiting for a flat. I watched my beautiful granddaughters birth and to cut a long story short she died at 6 wks from whooping cough which the hospital did not detect. This was the worse day of my life and the following months. Grieving for her and reliving it each day, the whats and ifs!! But to watch my daughter go through it was like hell, i cryed every night and when i fell alseep no matter what time i woke i heard her sobbing. So from that day over three years ago i have drunk a bottle of wine (or just over) every night since. Now I know that pain does not go away ever and i still relive this, but life goes on and she has a beautiful son now.
I want to stop now but can I just stop, I am dependant on it? I have tried to find out on the net but it says if your a heavy drinker you can't just stop, so do i cut down by how much? I am so tired of being tired all the time. I sweat in the mornings, I ache and i am addicted to it so it will not be easy for me as every day i say today i will have one glass less each day but at night that da never comes because i will do it tomorrow.

I would like to join you and look forward to not being dependant on the wine.

Your all doing so well congratulations to you all.

peterbunny

shar-rona wrote: »

Hi I am new here but so want to join you.. my story briefly ...

I am 52 and have always drunk more than i should but not loads and had af nights between 2 and 3 nights each week. Then my daughter with bump and her partner came to live with us while they were waiting for a flat. I watched my beautiful granddaughters birth and to cut a long story short she died at 6 wks from whooping cough which the hospital did not detect. This was the worse day of my life and the following months. Grieving for her and reliving it each day, the whats and ifs!! But to watch my daughter go through it was like hell, i cryed every night and when i fell alseep no matter what time i woke i heard her sobbing. So from that day over three years ago i have drunk a bottle of wine (or just over) every night since. Now I know that pain does not go away ever and i still relive this, but life goes on and she has a beautiful son now.
I want to stop now but can I just stop, I am dependant on it? I have tried to find out on the net but it says if your a heavy drinker you can't just stop, so do i cut down by how much? I am so tired of being tired all the time. I sweat in the mornings, I ache and i am addicted to it so it will not be easy for me as every day i say today i will have one glass less each day but at night that da never comes because i will do it tomorrow.

I would like to join you and look forward to not being dependant on the wine.

Your all doing so well congratulations to you all.

My heart goes out to you Sha-rona, what a sad story. I'm so glad your dayghter has a lovely son now!!!:A
I'm 62 and have been a moderate drinker since my late 30's. over the last couple of years this escalated to at least a bottle of wine a day. I put it down to being in an unhappy relationship, but really any excuse will do. some of us tend to use alcohol to blot out emotional and physical pain; I did.:(
In the new year I decided I had to change. I split up with my partner of 4 years and stopped drinking.:eek:
I had to stop completely as 1 glass was never enough. I don,t trust myself and the is no alcohol in the house.These ar tips that helped me.

No alcohol in the house.
Keep busy, physically and mentally.
Plan little treats for yourself, ( a cup of real coffee, a long smelly bath)
Put the money you save by nod drinking into special fund to buy things you rally want. I'm going to buy plants for my new garden.
Don't beat yourself up if you give in to temptatation Don,t give up.Start again tomorrow.
Find a friend or relative or friend to help support you.
Use the thread wer'e all routing for you, and we know what you r going through, as we've all been there.
Big Hugs

1 WEEK WIThOUT MY PARNER


1WEEK AF:T

maman

Welcome Shar-rona. First, may I send you the hugest of hugs on the loss of your little one. I can only imagine how dreadful that must be. What I do know is that it will be easier to cope with and support others if you feel better about yourself.

Although with much less genuine triggers, I started on here from a point of drinking a bottle+ a night too. I don't think that going 'cold turkey' from that level of drinking is dangerous. Sadly, there are people drinking far more.

I wanted to cut down and take control of my drinking as I was in the habit of just opening a bottle every evening out of habit. It was my reward for getting through the day.

Briefly, I decided to start one Monday with an AF day and build from there. My aim was to be AF in the week (unless it's an occasion) and drink sensibly at weekends. At first it was hell. I had to have a drink in my hand constantly, I paced about and it filled all my thoughts. I had a few s*d it days but gradually it's got easier and now I'm just about where I want to be.

There'll be loads of people on this lovely thread with ideas of how to cope, just ask. I realise that what worked for me may not be what you're aiming for. Whatever you decide, welcome and good luck!!

shar-rona

Thank you both for advise and support. I am terrifed that i am going to die if I just stop, maybe because little baby just had cold and we never thought she would die she was in the best place (hospital)they sent her home but daughter took her back next day. My aim is to be AF for at least 4 nights per week. Writing that seems like a huge task.
So my todays target is to drink only 3 glasses of wine tonight which will be a first for 3 yrs. Even now I want to change that to 4 or maybe 3 and a half. So it done no more than 3.

maman

shar-rona wrote: »

Thank you both for advise and support. I am terrifed that i am going to die if I just stop, maybe because little baby just had cold and we never thought she would die she was in the best place (hospital)they sent her home but daughter took her back next day. My aim is to be AF for at least 4 nights per week. Writing that seems like a huge task.
So my todays target is to drink only 3 glasses of wine tonight which will be a first for 3 yrs. Even now I want to change that to 4 or maybe 3 and a half. So it done no more than 3.

I'd advise that you keep putting off having the first glass. I used to love opening a bottle at 6 p.m. (or as soon as I got in from work if it was later) and knocking it back while I was cooking supper. You could get that it's so late in the evening that you feel it's not worth having any and ruining an AF day.

lizzyb1812

Hi shar-ona

I'm sorry to hear about your loss but glad that your daughter now has a healthy son and that you are thinking about your own future.

I was drinking about 1.5 to 2 bottles of wine every night until recently. I too was worried about what happened when you stop drinking from that level. I only used to drink in the evening. All I can say is that my experience is that I stopped completely safely with the only downside being disturbed sleep. Today is my ninth day being AF and the sleep is a little bit better. Lots of other stuff is MUCH better - including being a better auntie than I was.

I firmly believe that there is a time for everything and for me it is now re alcohol. Apparently it takes several goes for most smokers to quit and that may apply to drinking too - your time may be now or you may be working up to it. Have a go at cutting down, with the support on here, and assess how that suits you.

Good luck - and be a happy grandma

8/22 AFD

Miss_Piggy_2

Afternoon all

2 for the SNC please Bearacus -Been meaning to say, glad your Mum is doing ok.

Shar-rona - welcome to the thread. It sounds like your family have been through an awful, heart-rending time. I hope we can all be of some help to you. As Maman says, sometimes its easier not to have that first glass. I certainly find that in my case as, if I open a bottle of wine, I'll drink it all. Good luck.

Bit of a stressful day yesterday. Both funerals I have to go to have been arranged for the same day. 2 hours apart but also about 40 miles apart! With lots of jigging round I should get to both. Just means OH can't come to my Great-Aunts with me as someone needs to be here to collect Piglet. Thats a minor problem though - as long as I go then thats fine.

Phew.....I am REALLY hoping that February is a lot calmer and simpler!:eek:

Miss P
xx

idristhedragon

Hi all - another AF day for me yesterday please. I am actually dreading Friday cos its a friends birthday and I feel obligated to drink and I dont want to!!!

Sha-rona- welcome to the thread- Im so sorry to hear about youre dreadful loss. I hope you are starting to find some peace to look after you. This thread is so supportive you will find plenty to hold your hand and inspire you xxx

365days

shar-rona wrote: »

Hi I am new here but so want to join you.. my story briefly ...

I am 52 and have always drunk more than i should but not loads and had af nights between 2 and 3 nights each week. Then my daughter with bump and her partner came to live with us while they were waiting for a flat. I watched my beautiful granddaughters birth and to cut a long story short she died at 6 wks from whooping cough which the hospital did not detect. This was the worse day of my life and the following months. Grieving for her and reliving it each day, the whats and ifs!! But to watch my daughter go through it was like hell, i cryed every night and when i fell alseep no matter what time i woke i heard her sobbing. So from that day over three years ago i have drunk a bottle of wine (or just over) every night since. Now I know that pain does not go away ever and i still relive this, but life goes on and she has a beautiful son now.
I want to stop now but can I just stop, I am dependant on it? I have tried to find out on the net but it says if your a heavy drinker you can't just stop, so do i cut down by how much? I am so tired of being tired all the time. I sweat in the mornings, I ache and i am addicted to it so it will not be easy for me as every day i say today i will have one glass less each day but at night that da never comes because i will do it tomorrow.

I would like to join you and look forward to not being dependant on the wine.

Your all doing so well congratulations to you all.

Hello and welcome. It sounds as though you have had a really hard time and tried to keep it all together by drinking. You have realised that this isn't going to solve the problems and in fact has caused more problems as you feel you can't stop. Sounds a really horrible place to be.

This thread as I guess you already know if a fab place. You've taken the first step and admitted to yourself and to others that you are not happy with your drinking.

I first started by trying to cut down volume...a glass a night...civilised with a meal. That open bottle in the fridge taunted and teased me all evening until I finally gave in and downed it. So then I tried AF days....I was very clever at making it work for me. At the time the 3 for £10 deals were about (are they still?) So I would treat myself on a Thursday to 3. Well it was nearly Friday wasn't it? Then obviously I would have to buy more on Saturday, usually having a half bottle left over on a Sunday...well that wasn't enough so I'd buy another three which meant in the end that I only ended up not drinking on a Tuesday or Wednesday if that. Eventually I realised that I was addicted to alcohol, powerless over it, eventually made the decision to stop.

Cutting down may work for you (I'm with you Miss Piggy, opened bottles HAD to be drunk) it may not. You may find stopping altogether is what you want or need. Whatever way there are people here walking both paths. You are in the right place.