The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 11

41_and_i_know_it

Cuppa Tea - I am a Spiritualist, well so far as to say that I believe that we have lessons to learn on Earth and these make us a better person. Through my bad times, the lies that have been told about me, the loneliness, the guilt, anger and frustration, it has helped me to hand these feelings over to a higher power. And when no-one believes the truth, I do trust that it will come out eventually. Some people call it karma, I call it justice. And from past experience, if you keep your integrity these things have a habit of working out years down the line, when you might have forgotten about it. And by then you have let the feelings. I hope you find comfort and peace and I send you all the best wishes I can.
"I walked in the snow, and I thought which way shall I go?
A voice in the dark white all around seemed to call me.
I followed it, until I could see the sun in the sky as always,
By then, I had walked so long without seeing anything I could
walk anywhere, at night or day, without fear.
Because when there was no light, no company or friends, no map
or compass I found my way.
Don't ask me how I did it, but someone was there, it may have
been the spirit of myself willing me on, I won't go back.
But if the snow falls again and I have to walk through it alone,
I know that I won't really be alone, someone or something was
there and only I know what, because only I walked through the
snow that day.
So let the snow fall, the sun will still be in the sky when I can see
at the end of the snowy path I tread."

41_and_i_know_it

*Mari* wrote: »

Morning all 18/25 AFD for me please Shaggy

I too have a summer birthday and as 41 said it is/was never spent with friends as people tend to be away! Upside I've never been to school/work on my birthday!!!

Have a great Thursday,

Mari xx

Mari, this really affected me cos i wanted to take a birthday cake to school and have all the kids sing happy birthday. It seemed as a kid that all the other kids had birthdays and I didn't because when we came bk in September mine had gone. Still hurts and I'm 42 in August, maybe I should get a life lol.

41_and_i_know_it

shaggydoo wrote: »

I have an early summer birthday - downside? - my birthday was always in the middle of exams!!!!

OOOOh that's not good. Imagine the celebration at the end of the exams though, or was it during.

41_and_i_know_it

PriceySOS wrote: »

15 AFD's and 3 for the SNC!!! Thanks!!

Yippeee, I'm getting back on track. If I can manage AFD's this weekend, I will finish January with not tooooo many units and non AFD's :j

That's the spirit if you pardon the pun.

41_and_i_know_it

stupotstu wrote: »

10 AF nights for me this month! Best I've had since November.

Going ski-ing in less than 2 weeks which will be a boozy affair but the whole point of trying to keep myself in control of the booze was so that I could continue to have social drinks and not have to go down a 12 step programme of complete abstinence!

Once again 10 AF for me!! <-Quietly pleased!!

Thank you all and hope you all have lots of good times planned for these miserable months!

Stupotstu!

This is your choice, we all are different, no-one is better than anyone else. You deserve a nice holiday and more so to enjoy every minute. Don't deprive yourself while you are away cos that is a recipe for resentment which can lead to drinking.
Whether you just cut down, give up whatever we are behind you.
And you can change what you want to do at any time.
This is your life and this is your time, if it is right to change you will know.
Thankyou for your honest post. I get so much out of reading frank, honest words from the heart. Thankyou x

41_and_i_know_it

warbonnet wrote: »

It's the lack of alcohol that is making you strong enough to face whatever it is you have been unable to speak about in the past.


You are not blocking it out anymore and you will be healthier and stronger.

Correct, correct and correct again. Not drinking alcohol allows you to think rationally. Alcohol distorts the truth, and numbs the pain temporarily.
Feel the feelings, feel the pain, cry, write things down. You are made of strong stuff, because you are talking to us about personal hurtful stuff. Keeping it bottled up inside lets the past hurt win, if you can't talk to your mum write a letter about it or show her a photo of what you would like things to be like. People think that alcohol is just a drink with chemicals in it. It is so much more, it is a coping mechanism which in turn makes us worse. But when you're desperate for peace inside, we don't realise how much of our life it makes up til we decide to cut down or stop. I think you are wonderful, we all do.

41_and_i_know_it

20 AFDs this month so far and 3 SNC. Not drunk since Friday night. Please update me when you can Shaggydoo and Mackeroo, thankyou very much.

Lilith1980

22/27 AF for me please Shaggy and 3 SNC please Mackeroo

Thanks for your very kind words everyone.

I was speaking to a colleague last night and he mentioned that these strong feelings might be coming up due to me not drinking. I know that for so long the drinking has been a way of pushing the feelings back down and although it's painful it is good to not have to need the alcohol to get me through this pain.

That's a big realisation - it's like the alcohol was a 'friend' but an unhealthy one who kept coming back and dragging me into its little games. But now, I don't need it anymore, I am strong enough on my own

Feeling increasingly anxious, but I'm accepting that I am bound to feel this way and just looking to get Saturday done and be able to move on, no matter what my mum's reaction is.

I'm actually now feeling that I never want to drink again, even on social occasions. And I am not berating anyone that does want to drink occasionally, I just don't think I want to any more. I am done with it.

maman

Really good to hear a range of views/options. That's one of the may good things about this thread. I'm a cutter-down like stupotsu. I've always had drinks on my holidays but the plus these days is I know where to find my stop button so no more embarassing exhibitions!

Yesterday my favourite BIL and SIL called unexpectedly and DH invited them to stay for supper. So I had wine. Not excessive although it made me very sleepy again. I can't believe how low my tolerance has become. So no more AF days but will be adding another later.:)

tracy_36

Hi all

20AF and another for the SNC please

Had an AF pear cider last night, was very moorish!

Tracy